When something doesn’t feel right in a relationship, it makes us feel like we’re going crazy. After all, your partner hasn’t given you a specific reason to believe they’re cheating, so what gives? Sometimes, our instincts can pick up on the small details, whether it’s a change in tone or how they’re acting. The most important thing to consider when our get tells us something is wrong is listening to it and investigating further.
If you’re thinking your partner may be having an affair, consider the following six signs:
They’ve just disappeared
There are times when it feels like you’re dating a ghost. It seems like the man that used to be readily available and in high contact with you has suddenly become somewhat evasive and busy all the time. When you’ve confronted him about the absences, it seems he doesn’t have a reliable answer. Maybe he gives a vague response, gets flustered, or lies about his whereabouts. If your partner has always been around and suddenly seems to have disappeared on a whim, he may have someone else.
Likewise, anyone that has previously texted a lot answered calls or has been otherwise attentive that has suddenly disappeared may be having an affair as well. Pay attention to how frequently your partner is on his phone when he’s around you. If his eyes are constantly checking the device, there’s a good chance he had the time to respond to you but chose not to. If you happen to ask him about his distanced replies, see if the answer corresponds with the frequency on his phone normally. Chances are he was distracted by other people.
They Tend to Gaslight You
When you’ve confronted them about suspicious behavior, anxiety, or other similar experiences, you’re left feeling like you’re going crazy. Sometimes you’ll even question your reality because the feedback doesn’t match how you’re feeling inside. Often, cheating partners will accuse their spouses of being ridiculous, jealous, anxious, or paranoid. They’ll also make you come across as overly emotional or downright loopy. Blatant lies and distractions that place the narrative on you are typical of affairs.
You are suddenly under the microscope
While it’s nice to check in throughout the day, a partner that suddenly becomes invested in your specific location at all times is potentially hiding something. This includes demanding details about work schedules, trip itinerary, and want to know your routine. Unfaithful partners may become invested in their spouse’s routine when they are trying to arrange outside activities. These can include phone calls, evenings out, or weekend getaways. Always consider it a red flag when your routine is placed under a microscope.
Likewise, a partner that begins accusing you of having an affair or becomes suspicious of your activities can be deflecting guilt onto you. Often, a guilty partner will try to place blame or suspicion on their partner, even if there’s no indication of it being a reality. This projection can become intense and may cause stress, anxiety, or bewilderment to the innocent party.
They have their Phone and Computer on Lockdown
In the past, they’ve always left their cellphone on the kitchen counter. Now it seems that thing has become an attachment to them. A partner that suddenly becomes protective over their phone or computer may be hiding something. When it looks like your partner is always on their phone but never wants you to see the device, there’s a good chance they’re hiding something. If someone is having an affair, they’ll likely have apps on the phone to communicate with their side piece. A sugar daddy app on your partner’s phone is a dead giveaway.
If you’re not sure what these apps are, take a picture with your own device and further investigate the app icons. Some programs are designed to mimic or mock other generic apps, making them hide in plain sight.
Something’s Up with the Car
When someone is hiding an affair, they’re likely traveling to see the other person. This can include extra mileage that can’t be explained, more frequent fill-ups at the gas station, and improved car conditions. These changes can consist of having the car detailed more frequently and keeping the vehicle in cleaner condition than usual. Also, check the car’s passenger seat position to see if another person has been riding in the passenger seat. Take a peek in the glove box and around the console to see if mysterious items that don’t belong to either of you (like hair elastics, make-up, or lip chap) have accumulated.
Your Sex Life Has Dramatically Changed
When we’re in a committed relationship, we understand our person. We know the frequency, intensity, and ongoing trials of their day. Having and maintaining a connection with this person is part of the emotional intimacy formed between you both. When someone is having an affair, there’s a good chance this connection is being shared between you and another person.
The same holds in the bedroom. If you’ve had a routine in the bedroom that has suddenly changed, consider it as a red flag. Changes in the bedroom can provide valuable information about your current relationship. For example, changes in technique, approach, or intensity can suggest another partner’s influence. Likewise, a partner that disengages when typically highly motivated can indicate they’re finding love in another place. It’s important to note; some cheaters will often increase initiation of sex when having an extra-marital affair. Regardless, if there’s been a notable change in the bedroom, consider it a red flag.