Asian DramaWiki Forum

Love at first sight. One of the first things you will be asked is your age. But does it really matter?
I think its not a question of age difference, but a question of mature.

aaannoooo.... I really am comfused on what the vote here is about. Does WHAT matter when it's real love? .... never mind, but what yangkuang here is saying I understand . actually in my point of view, no offence ok, love has plenty to do with age. the tendency to fall in love with someone near our age is quite great, looking at the sheer volume of people around us, their pair would most likely be around the same age. very few have the maturity or courage to love those far older or vice versa than there are. WHY?? Society says so. yup sad but very true. but for those courageous enough... from us lament folks.

crappers............i chose the wrong choice!!!! *smacks myself on the forehead*

in my mind i clicked on NO, but my mouse ended up on YES....ahhhhh~

but yea.............i'm also a little confused at your question YK. I don't know what true love really is..........but that's because i haven't found it yet. i still haven't experienced what a lot of people call "love at first sight." i believe in love that grows...gradually.........

but your topic question was love in matters of age, right? i don't think age really matters. but it depends on the maturity levels of both individuals. i mean, if one partner was 14 and the other 24, whereas 10 years difference isn't much, but the partner who's 14 still haven't even reached puberty yet..........

so i guess it depends........

but regardless, who am i to judge? as long as both are of mature age and they're really in love, sure...why not?

AAAHHHH... WAGATTA!! Does AGE really matters when we're really in love? is that it.? if that's it than ill have to go with yes.

yangkuang.......full of questions about love huh

I think it looks more awkward and harder to accept if the guy is younger that the girl.
The reasoning of the boy's family would be seduction...
as for the guy older than the girl, i mean a huge gap between their ages, say 15+...usually happens between asian women and foreigners(~Caucasians).
My mom's friend married an Italian-Canadian who's 20 yrs older than she...maturity?, heck, they have that.

as for me...i believe age shouldn't matter...it all about the heights difference....i wouldn't want my girlfriend to me taller than me

YOSH!!! WAGATTA' LITTLEteaPOToo17, YURUSHIKUUU!!!! Nice pointoo. fell off my seat reading that.

Yang, you're making me dizzy starting the same threads simultaneously here and FSC....

What is it yangkuang? You've set your sights on the 45 year old unmarried female math teacher? Is she cute?

So many soulmates are divided by time, many never destined to meet; centuries standing between them.

Never mind the age difference; listen to your heart and enjoy the little time you're given on this earth together with her. True love cannot be denied

^

I don't think age difference really matters; unless you're 45 and you're significant other one is underaged or not of legal age, then I would say no.

As to love at first sight, sorry, but I don't really believe in it. I think it's more of lust or infatuation. But then again, who am I to say such a thing, since I have never experienced what "love" is.

nope doesnt matter, it's just whether two people connect or not.

It can happen to those who would never think it possible

Love has no confines, age is but a number.

In some cases age doesn't really matter. But won't you question it if the guy was like 70 while ur like in ur 20s'? Its posible, but it seems more unlikely.

Age, real love, fake love, who cares? I don't. As long as everyone is abiding by the law, it doesn't matter in my opinion. I dont care if an 18 yr old is getting it put to her by someone who is 100, more power to him ^_^

Camron Diaz and Justin Timberlake...

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher...

need i say more...

I believe in love at first sight.

He is so much younger than me, but when I first saw him and held him in my arms I immediately fell truely, deeply, madly in love with him

haha this just reminded me of ashton kutcher and demi moore, you go gal!! she found herself a nice boy toy (so ha to those perverted old men with underaged girls )

after 21, age doesn't matter. b4 18, age does matter! i don't think any1 under 18 has enuf grasp of life and the maturity level to b in a commited relationship.

as for Ashton and Demi...look at Demi!!! she's 1 hottt lady! i'm a few years older then Ashton, and i'd definitely go for Demi. on the other end, look at Micheal Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones. she's 1 hottt lady also.

Age shouldn't matter as long as two people love each other in fact alot of my girl friends are going out with younger guys. on a side note not much younger like 1 to 2 yrs but i still like to tease them that their robbing the Craddle. lol =þ

Ok, in many cases it probably shouldn't matter. But some situations kinda irk me like, Anna Nicole Smith and that 89 year old guy she married (although I don't necessarily think she loved him as much as she says), as well as something like a 13 year old and their 35 year old teacher. But a 16 year old girl and an 18 year old guy do not irk me like it may irk many others.

Back when I was younger, I would definitely say (and did) that age is nothing but a number. I may or may not have been mature for my age (but definitely less mature than NOW), but I hung around with people older than me and I dated older guys. I hid it from so many people though, including some friends (who didn't hang with my older crowd) and DEFINITELY family. For example, when I was 15, my boyfriend at the time was about 5 years older. We subsequently dated for like 4 years though. Because of what many people would think, we hid it somewhat from a lot of people. It was not an issue when we broke up either, at that time I was no longer a minor.

I have a multi-standard in that way because I don't think everyone was able to handle it like I was and/or it doesn't always work out well. If I have a daughter and she does MANY of the things I did from 12 or 13 until I was 21 (90% of which I did safely without bad consequence and did not get caught), my foot would be so far in her @$$ if I caught her

At the current time though, for me, age does matter. I am legal and have been. But at my age, I don't picture myself dating someone 40+, maybe even 35+. I can't say it wouldn't happen because I suppose attraction and/or love can be like that. But I don't picture it I also don't picture myself dating a drastically younger guy (although that might kick @$$ when I'm an old maid if I can get one ). I'm still in the age range where a couple years seems like a century though. If a 20 year old guy were to hit on me, I'd say no. I'm sure my views will change more again as I grow older.

it shouldn't matter, but it usually does. as kali4niaguy mentioned, it gets to be less of a factor as you grow older. a 60yr old guy going out with a 50yr old lady is not much of a big deal (10yr difference). but a 20yr old with a 10yr old?? woah.

but that's just because of simple arithmatic. at 20/10, the ratio is twice the person's age. at 60/50, the ratio is much lower. that's why in college, i used to hear guys say, oh, but she's only a senior in high school. now, at my age, that same age difference is nothing.

Love at first sight. One of the first things you will be asked is your age. But does it really matter? I think its not a question of age difference, but a question of mature.
Does it matter when it's real love?

let's get back to this question. from the 'old guy' perspective: i remember hearing myself say that when i was about your age. now that i've dated girls older, younger, somewhat older (a few years), and much younger (at least to me), i have a different perspective.

here's what i've learned. when it's between a guy and a girl who's in "love", it doesn't really matter. you guys have fun, enjoy one another's company, etc. but whenever other factors get involved (and, no, you won't be able to avoid them), the age difference really shows up. hanging out with the other person's friends, family, co-workers, etc. is quite an experience. you'll also find out that, as much as you try, you don't totally share each other's hobbies, views, and activities.

guys who are about to graduate college, raise of hands, who wants to take a girl to their senior prom? girls who haven't graduated college, anyone ready to give up their academic/social/work careers to get married and have a baby? these are just some examples.

now, if you are able to OVERCOME these differences (and notice that i don't use the word, IGNORE), then i'll give you a virtual high-five! but the only successful couples with huge age differences that i've seen are the older ones.

yangkuang: judging by your age and the type of threads you've posted, i would just say, 'don't put all your eggs in one basket'. but the best way to learn is for one to experience it for him/herself. good luck to you, man.


EDIT: i also wanted to address another issue. some of you have been mentioning some hollywood stars. they do not imitate real life. count yourselves lucky that you are fortunate enough to choose your love. i don't believe many famous and rich people have that luxury. which is why the majority just go on marrying each other .... four or five times.

Toughy, I think maturity matters more than age. I've just seen it with my own eyes a couple days ago so I would of said age doesn't matter. I swear she acted and talked like a 14 year old. Actually age 19. But her aura radiated a little kid, it's cute though. Just my two cents

Yuvin

You'll have to do the divide by 2 add 7 rule for dating in my book.

Basically you take someone's age.. Let's say 30 years old. Divde his/her age by 2 = 15 add 7 = 22.

Someone who's 30 year's old should NOT look at anyone under the age of 22. Love or not this should be the rule of thumb.

I think (x/2)+7+(((x-sqrt(sqr(x-14)))-14)/4) would be a more appropriate rule

wow another girl and boy love topic from yangkuang

antabaka wrote:Camron Diaz and Justin Timberlake...

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher...

need i say more...

They even have a name for the older women who date younger men --
cougars..



bando

I think we all agree on that love has no bounds, but today's society is holding back the free love.

All we want is endless love...

I don't think there is age difference in real love...
well..I believe my real love wont be someone old enough to be my dad or someone young enough to be my son.

jaycee05 wrote:yangkuang.......full of questions about love huh

Belive it or not, I'm gathering scientific statistical data

science deska..... SOOO kAAA.! Then its safe for me to say that scientificly, age does not matter. but there might not be any love there though...

Yes....agree that age is a number and should not affect love. But like jholic said

whenever other factors get involved (and, no, you won't be able to avoid them), the age difference really shows up. hanging out with the other person's friends, family, co-workers, etc. is quite an experience. you'll also find out that, as much as you try, you don't totally share each other's hobbies, views, and activities.

it's going to take more than love to make it last! My better half is 12 years older than me. Between us, it doesn't seem like a lot. But then his friends are 10-15...sometimes more..years older than him. So when I accompany him to social gatherings, I'm not sure whether to talk to them or their kids! There are no foundation for conversations. It's always so and so daughter just graduated or married..blah blah blah! Thank god we don't have too many of those to worry about!

i don't think age really matters. i mean, they are lucky to find each other, why bother with what others say? Afterall, you can't help others to be against it if the gap is really big. Personally,when it comes to my own love life, age matters to me. Guys should be at most two years younger than me or at most 6 years older at most.

Age doesn't matter when its love. What does matter is money. How else would an older man or an older woman (way older say by 10 years or so) be able to get a younger lover? If you have the funds, anything can happen...

wow so much answered "No"..

i think you guys watch too much dramas

I know several married couples where the woman is about a decade older than the man and despite all the gossip, innuendo and people not knowing when to shut up, it all seems to work alright. And they got married when they were in there 20's and 30's.

A 20 year old friend of mine used to date a 50 year old woman. Apart from people feeling the need to fill the air with useless vibrations, there is nothing wrong.

The advantage of stricktly dating within ones age group seems to me is that one can be relaxed about people of the opposite sex outside ones age group; no inviting/rejecting as potential sex partners.

And I like basing my view of romance on fairy tales. I know women just want money and men sex daily conviniently, but that's too depressing; I rather deny reality

i think age is an important element in (not of) love..... not simply age but maturity....... ^_^v

Atomic wrote:You'll have to do the divide by 2 add 7 rule for dating in my book.

Basically you take someone's age.. Let's say 30 years old. Divde his/her age by 2 = 15 add 7 = 22.

Someone who's 30 year's old should NOT look at anyone under the age of 22. Love or not this should be the rule of thumb.

That is an entertaining little rule. Where is this from? It's not from that ladder theory site again is it?

x/2 + 7 is too restrictive. I think it should be x/2 + 5 or even 3. A 30 year old should be able to date an 18 year old. Ourside of the fangirl drama fantasy world, in real life, men routinely date/marry girls 10-15 years their junior in Asia--even 20 years age difference is routinely seen. The longer I stay in China, the more socially accustomed to this idea I've become. There's so many 35-45 year olds dating marrying 20-26 year olds here. When I first encountered this, it was a bit disturbing. But more and more, I am accepting it. The only drawback is if they want to have children. Then it does get a little weird if the child has a mother and father who are 15 years apart in age. But from the dating and the loving perspective of the two individual couple, age really shouldn't be of consequence.

BT-Slut wrote:The only drawback is if they want to have children. Then it does get a little weird if the child has a mother and father who are 15 years apart in age. But from the dating and the loving perspective of the two individual couple, age really shouldn't be of consequence.

I think the main thing I would have about marrying a much older man would he that he might die WAY earlier than me and I'd be left alone. Morbid thought, but it came to my mind seriously. So I'd probably try not to get attached to someone over 10 years older My friend's parents are far apart in age. My friend's mom is 49 and her dad is 70.

First of all i don't care if others don't like my love choise...
First of all because i like older guys
even if he is with 10 or< maybe more >years older then me i don't care
Peuple could be very mean and evil some time.. they only like to see u unhappy and destroid then happy...
Sow kiths stop leassen to others do what u want....my opinion...
somethink else too...IF U DON"T WANT TO BE JUDGE>>DON"T JUDGED THEM TOO...

AGE DOES NOT MATTER. PERIOD.

because <<<< is 12 years older than me keke that's the max for now LOL. I'm half kidding b/c I'll probably never meet him ..sobs..

one of my uncles is at least 10 years apart from his wife. So no it doesn't matter. I'd say max is 12 years though, b/c it is a little hard to imagine. Tomoya Nagase is an exception, I don't care how old he is

tikleabubble wrote:AGE DOES NOT MATTER. PERIOD.

because <<<< is 12 years older than me keke that's the max for now LOL. I'm half kidding b/c I'll probably never meet him ..sobs..:

So you're 15, right?

Since you won't probably meet T.N., I think the only choice left for you is:

Most of the people I know who are married to some japanese are with older women. But I'm not sure it supposed to mean anything ( I'm the only one to be with a younger).
it's also a common theme in dramas : the story of a guy in love with an older woman : "long vacation" , "virgin road", "slow dance"...

Actually, I'm unable to answer the question for myself, I don't know if it is important or not.

antabaka wrote:Age doesn't matter when its love. What does matter is money. How else would an older man or an older woman (way older say by 10 years or so) be able to get a younger lover? If you have the funds, anything can happen...

Ayiah...what a bad answer. So its o.k for a 20+/30/+40/+50 year old guy who is rich by the way with a lot of money to be dating someone like this

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saaya_Irie

By the way in this pic shes only 11. I got this from an aznv forum.

http://aznv.net/index.php?showtopic=208 ... entry26267

If you were her mom would you allow this?

Come on be realistic here...Money??? thats the answer? What about morals?

thats a tomsum of an answer there.

age does not matter... it's only a number!!..

This topic reminded me of that recent Japanese movie Tokyo Tower.
Anyway for my opinion, I believe love between two people can exists regardless of the age difference, however I voted 'Yes' it matters because it does. Here is my reason why. If you think about the future for one brief moment you will realize this. Someone 10-20 years older will age sooner. With such a great gap, you will soon notice your partner developing unpleasant characteristics of old people. I think this will put a strain in the relationship and the younger partner may end up hating the other because they are still looking forward to life whilst the other is ending theirs. So I think it's prudent to consider age when finding a partner unless you plan to leave them once they get too old for you. Now is that love?

I don't think I could fall in love with someone that much younger than me. I'm nineteen ATM and for me the limit I think would be a very mature sixteen year old. I find the general rule of thumb after the age of sixteen is: AGE divided by TWO, add SEVEN.

So for me 19/2 is 9.5+7 is 16.5. Ahhhh, perfect.

Really I don't believe I would go out with someone younger and if I'm not going out with someone the chances that I'm going to fall in love with them are slim to none. When you're going out with someone you're obvious attracted to them in the first place and the more time you spend together the more you're going to like them (or hate them). If I'm not going out with a girl there's no oppurtunity for my feelings for them to grow into anything past a cheap crush. It definately wouldn't be love for me, at the most it would be delusion.

I used to think that age was a very important factor in a relationship (not talking about underage ;)

But now I have a friend who's boyfriend is 16 years older then her, and they are so happy together, how can I deny the fact that they love eachother! They do both admit, that because of this age difference, problems could arise in the future.

This is question with mixed answers. It can get different answers depending on the age group it attracts to. For example, younger people would prefer their own age, whereas older wouldn't care. But there is also the social issue, about what is acceptable or what you have been taught to believe as right and wrong. There are so many factors that it just becomes question about who the person is really.

To me it does not matter at all. But then, I am a guy and ideally i would prefer someone younger than me, so i am biased and somewhat untrue to my opinion. I suppose if the situation roze i would know. I would like to believe that age does not matter, but that would just mean i watch too much doramas and live in a fantasy. I think more than age experience or a balance of it would matter; then again what the hell do i know?

I went out with someone a bit younger then me... there was a 7 year age difference. For me at least is seemed like I was babysitting sometimes. It does matter if there is nothing but attraction and nothing else. If people can find someone they click with then ultimately it doesn't matter (well as long as its nice and legal that is) honestly I tend to go for younger people but the guide lines have changed for me... if they can't legally drink then its less likely for me to go for them.

absolutely nooooooooooo. because i went out twice with guys 4 yers younger than me

4 me...if the age difference not too much i can accept it...last time my bf also younger then me...as long as both love each other tat enough ....dun care how other look at....

there are so many different variations with couples in love that it's difficult to say whether age matters or not.

underage male/female - legal male/female mainly a no no, but see, in this case it also matters how far the relationship carries and how large the gap is. i personally see np with an 18 yr old and a 16 yr old of either gender combination. i like the idea of a 30 yr old and a 15 yr old much less.

male/female << 1-5 yrs >> male/female in legal individuals i don't generally see a problem here unless maturity of character is an issue, which would likely prevent them from liking each other in the long run anyway.

male/female << 6-many yrs >> male/female in legal individuals i don't have a problem with this combination either, but i do see one difficulty if the older person is the female. should they really be in it for the long haul, it's entirely possible the male may have to give up on being a father should she be past that age or if she doesn't want kids after a certain age. this really doesn't necessarily present a problem for an older male/younger female combination, at least biologically.

i've personally never dated anyone older than myself, but i've always been a bit of an eternal teenager. not to say i've dated teenagers past being one myself. the largest age gap for me so far has been 4 yrs, as i'm currently single, i'm just wondering where all this is headed. either way, be he older or younger, what precious time is given me with someone i adore, i will enjoy without regret or shame.

I don't think age really matter if you do love somebody with all your heart (I've understand that thanks to some members of D-A ) They said age is just numbers and that doesn't count when your heart throb for someone you care most about and the love is mutual.

I believe that there is no limitation to love but when it comes to age difference, you should limit yourself. I think that people should only date poeple no more than 6 years of difference and 10 years to the max. It kinda grosses me out how some people date other people who are twice their age and could even be their parent or grandparent. I mean I dun think it's right but no one's gonna stop you from taking those actions, you're free to make your own decisions. Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas have big age differences and so does Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore. They kinda remind me of a child-parent relationship. If you view them in a different perspective, or put yourself in their positions, it would be like you dating your parent or your parent's friend.

I also believe that a man should be older than the woman or at least no youger than 5 years than the woman. I'm not tryin to be sexist or anythin but I just dun like that fact that some women are dating younger guys. Because women mature earlier than men do, men older are suggested to be at a more mature state. The person older is more like the person who takes full responsibility for the person younger than the him/her. Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz for example, hav about a 10 year age differeence where she is the older person who should take full responsibilty of their relationship. But a man should be the one who should take care of the woman.

People who hav a big age gap between them tend to think they are in love until a few years later and they dun share the same interests anymore. Then they would go their separate ways and brake up.

More than likely it's lust at first sight; not love. It's something very gradual and not forced, something that comes with time. And uh, no. Age doesn't matter. Love is natural? Well, so is aging =P

azndgn26 wrote:
I also believe that a man should be older than the woman or at least no youger than 5 years than the woman. I'm not tryin to be sexist or anythin but I just dun like that fact that some women are dating younger guys. Because women mature earlier than men do, men older are suggested to be at a more mature state. The person older is more like the person who takes full responsibility for the person younger than the him/her. Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz for example, hav about a 10 year age differeence where she is the older person who should take full responsibilty of their relationship. But a man should be the one who should take care of the woman.

Ah, but women generally live longer then men, so a older woman and younger man would match up better in their old age, and thus the younger man would be more able to take care of the woman in her golden years.


More seriously, as people get older, age does not mater as much, to a young person a few years means allot, but as people get older, the accepted age gap can grow.

Rather like on the extremes, a 15 year old and a 20 year old...no, but an 80 year old and a 70-year-old not much of a problem. In addition, I have noticed that it is usually the people in the teens that have the biggest problem with age.

When I was 20 I had been with a 17 year old and also a 26 year old. I liked the office lady more (seifuku no fechi maybe?)o_O Japanese schoolgirls complain too much.

Similar situation as Yarichin. I've been with a guy who is 5 years older than me for almost 3 years, but a year ago I started talking to a guy 3 years younger than me. If I hadn't dedicated so much time/emotion into the older guy I would totally have chosen the younger one. He was just so much more fun and exciting. Oh, I'm currently 23

depends on how much of a difference.

LOL someone made this into a post? I don't think we should be the ones to judge love with age. Who cares if Ashton and Moore are 14 years apart, what the important question is do they love each other? I think clearly they have something. Look the people saying its lust at first sight, ummm duh we are animals the last time I checked. We still carry these basic instints of eating and **** (sorry for the vulgur but its in the literal term lol I guess I could have said reproduce.). Unless you go after your mate to you know talk about the weather, what good movie is on this week for a lifetime, thats cool too. I am almost sure there is a religion that died out that lived like that. Ok I am going off topic but my point is love is a strange thing, we haven't got a total grip on how it works and if you did write a book 'cause you're gonna make millions. It all depends on the person, who knows what love has in store next week. I think maury shows some werid matches but I don't really like that show and im almost certain its fake anyway

16 years old is the lower limit, 26 is the upper limit. I wouldn't actively seek for a girl that young (16 year olds), but if it were to happen, I'd let it be as long as she's mature and intellgient to be competent enough to be in a serious relationship.

I voted "no"...I mean nothing is impossible but love between two people when there is a huge age difference, most of the time it's not real love they are feeling. I dunno, it's confusing, because if you say this, you could say what makes two people who are about the same age more appropriate for one another than 2 people with a greater age difference?

Anyway, my parents are 28 years apart. My dad being the older one, and he met my mom when she was only 17. Their relationship was never that great ... it's complicated since when you're that much younger/older than your partner... you really have nothing to talk about.

Was there marriage arranged?

age does matter. people who say age dont matter is a pedophile. unless she is that 11 year old hotty i juss clicked on a couple of posts above me. lol

I would have to say it's gross(!) to have someone below 17 to date much older people (or vise versa).

But if one is in their 20s I think it's more reasonable because the brain is already well-developed then (read that the final stage of brain development, which is the reasoning part, developed when one is on his/her mid twenties).

Regardless, what do I know? I found George Clooney very attractive even when I was still in my teens ^^

I don't think age matters at all >:| it all depends on the persons feeeeeeeeeeeeelingssss. you know, those fuzzy little emotions you get when the protons and electrons in your brain go like

yay : D

love = indiscriminate

Of course it matters. A 40 year old who claims to be in love with a 9 year old is nothing more than a criminal who has managed to manipulate the 9 year old to agree with the 40 year old.

No.
I was in love with a woman who was 34...(I'm 26)
I really didn't care of it, it was love at first sight (unfortunately, it was just for me )

imho,just be thankful that you can have someone to love...some people can't have that

dont U all think that love is something that grows after time when U´ve gone thru bad and good and grown together? saying U have fallen in love is more or less a saying when U found someone interesting and wanna make it sound grand from the start.
Nowadays alot of people give up to easily when they get it rough and hard since their to scared to ride it all out.

but this is just my view of it

the grandes love is with someone whos Ur best friend and lover and that aint something that U get right away when U fall for someone.

happy easter!

I know it can sound totally unreal but it was a "coup de foudre" for me... I can't help it, I can't explain, it was a first time for me, It's really hard to live and share.
In fact she didn't believe me
I was chocked.

Kokko8
26 and 34 seem to be perfectly fine. That's a reasonable age difference. You should probably watch Younger Men (you can dl that right here).

I'm a guy, sorry

Younger Men aka Toshishita no Otoko is a series about older women with younger men.