Ya you really shouldn't dwell on the what ifs of life though. Like its good to reflect back on what could have happened, but don't think you missed your only oppurtunity to meet the one. I see what you mean when women approach you. Try not to be so cold with them. Try to seem intrested in what they are saying keep the conversation fresh. Even if you have no feelings for her why not become her friend. Maybe she will have a friend that you two will just hit it off. Ok now im playing the what if game If a conversation just clicks with a girl that arroaches you ask her if she if she isn't busy and would like to have a coffee or tea or whatever she drinks with you. If you are walking to this place you can usually get a good conversation going. Talk about things that intrest you personally and who knows maybe she will share your same intrests. You don't have to make all these girls your girlfriend you can get to know them. I don't think showing intrest in them will scare them away at all lol. Infact it will only do the opposite, unless of course by showing intrest you are stalking her then ya she might be scared away haha j/k. Instead of just being women you see and kinda know they would become friends.movieaddict wrote:
thanks for replying back mythrel ...i forgot something important in my first post which is the reason why i was shy and afraid to confess to the girl i first met freshmen year, it was because i knew that one of my friends liked her too and me not wanting to ruin our friendship backed off(my friend and her were in a relationship for awhile but it didn't work out)...i am not so sure if i made a bad decision back then because i let her slipped away where now i hardly see her and if i accidently do bump into her it is just an occasional greeting and asking how each other are doing...do you think i was stupid to back off back then because i didn't want to risk my friendship with my good friend over a girl? and if a situation like this ever happens again where both the girl and i have feelings for each other should i pursue her anyways despite putting my friendship on the line?
well back to the topic, after experiencing these events in my life with these two different girls from my previous years in college, there are so many 'what if's' that comes into my mind... i kno that the past will be past and i should be looking forward to the future because there alot of good girls out there, i kno i kno...as i have said before i have no girls whom i can call friends, but i have alot of female acquaintances whom seem interested in me...i actually have no real problems in talking with girls but i try to keep my cool most of the time when approached by girls trying not to show her that i really am interested in knowing her more because i'm afraid that i'll scare her away if i am too eager in trying to get to know her...is this my problem, should i keep my cool under these situations? if this is my problem would showing her that i am interested scare her away? i can talk to these girls fine but i just do not know how to create any opportunities with these girls so that i can get to know them better, is there any tips or advice on how to carry a conversation with her and arrange an opportunity for us to get to know each other better?...I'm solely looking for a platonic relationship with these wonderful girls right now and if something more does comes out of one of these relationships, goodness gracious i'll be the happiest man alive that i have found HER...
I also don't think you are stupid for backing off. I mean you did what any good friend would do. After they broke it off you could have approached him and confessed your feelings about her to him and ask him if it would be all right to give it a shot with her. Usually friends will be cool with it. I remember after I broke up with my girlfriend my friend Will went out with her for a day and my best friend Andrew went out with her for 2 weeks and I felt no ill will towards them. If there was that spark between you two before he even stepped in though I would have confronted him and told him my feelings for her and how she feels. If he cared about you as much as you cared about him he would have done the backing off. (did you and him ever talk about how you felt about her or did he open that up). You do risk your friendship in doing so because he could be the jealous type or selfish type, but usually the selfish type don't make good friends and jealousy will blow over if he truely wants to be your friend.