Is it possible for a guy and a girl to be just friends?

xmz · Post by **xmz** » May 15th, '06, 19:35

I was chatting with a friend on the phone the other day and we were wondering if it is possible for a guy and a girl to be just friend. and not later on, the guy falling for the girl or the girl falling for the guy?

and if that would happen do you think that it would be possible again for them to be just friends again??

narushinyak · Post by **narushinyak** » May 15th, '06, 19:53

IMO, It is very possible if both are not attracted to their physical looks at all.. if they were already bf/gf it's very hard to stay as just friends.. because being just friends is same as falling for the other except you are not really physically attracted.. being just a friend as in seeing each other once in awhile maybe.. but never a close friend me thinks.. -_-; I mean.. even though looks aren't everything.. you end up falling for someone because they will suddenly look attractive to you physically .. to a certain degree. On the other hand.. you can be friends with anyone almost despite what you think about their looks. therefore I vote no!

Hika.chan · Post by **Hika.chan** » May 15th, '06, 20:14

Well, my best friend is male so I have my opinion in that case. In a friendship there are also emotions like in a love-relationship. But the thing with the love misses. I think to have just a friendship requires the knowing of how a person can/will be in a relationship or his negative aspects in general.

blackstarjr · Post by **blackstarjr** » May 15th, '06, 20:32

I think it is possible for a guy to be just friends with a girl.Well in my case I have been really close friends with three girls for about 4 yrs.I constantly talk to them on the phone, we just go hang out at the mall, watch movies, go eat,go clubbing etc etc.We get along great.Two of them have boyfriends now and that's hasen't caused any problems with our friendship.We still do the same stuff as always with or without their boyfriends hanging around (The guys are pretty cool, we get along fine)

.

Well in regards to being attracted to them, they are indeed pretty/hot but I am not really that interested, since I am not interested in any relationships right now in my life.Being friends is soo much better, you don't have to deal with soo much crap that comes with being in a relationship..hehe..Having a guy or a girl as a friend you are more relaxed with yourself and enjoy life.

The way i see it Relationship = you are checking the field to see if you can find a suitable mate for the rest of your life and will spend your life with that person forever
Friendship = a fun filled life without worrying about looking for a mate for the rest of your life but to enjoy the daily life and be at ease.Do the stuff you like and relax.You don't get tied down with any issues

mak2k · Post by **mak2k** » May 15th, '06, 20:34

Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.

Now this may be funny (since it IS Billy Crystal that is Harry), it has some truth in it.. there will always be attraction between two opposing sexes, it cannot be helped. Now if either party will actually fall for each other, it depends on the person. IF they are so close like brothers and sisters, it might just feel wrong to fall for each other.. usually either party will say no because of that.

But i know some cases where really good friends feel for each other and got married, it works both ways. But from experience, i say no at first, but if things works out, then you can be friends

nalika · Post by **nalika** » May 15th, '06, 20:54

the movie "Just Friend" state clearly that it's not possible...LOL....

I guess it depend...

nyczfish · Post by **nyczfish** » May 15th, '06, 22:10

Its obivous, it depends on what they think about each other. Or there is a future scenario that they eventually fall in love. All the relationships and friendships I been in, I try to not get attached to it. I think that the girl should please me instead of me pleasing her. Now, I been single for 3 years.

Mythrel · Post by **Mythrel** » May 15th, '06, 22:14

I don't see how its not possible. I have been friends with girls who I've had no attraction to besides their friendship. If you know how to control your emotions and feelings it shouldn't be a problem but if you are the type to just hit on every girl no matter what then well you are gonna have some issues lol. I have had some great times with both my female and male friends and I wouldn't trade them in for anything. Why limit yourself to just male friends the fart jokes got old after grade 2

groink · Post by **groink** » May 15th, '06, 22:18

I personally believe in the Chris Rock theory behind "platonic" relationships... For the woman's point of view:

Chris Rock wrote:"A platonic friend for a woman is like a d**k in a glass case. 'In case of emergency break open glass.'"

As for the man's point of view, Chris says that the man just hasn't found a way to get her in bed.

--- groink

narushinyak · Post by **narushinyak** » May 15th, '06, 22:22

groink wrote:I personally believe in the Chris Rock theory behind "platonic" relationships... For the woman's point of view:

Chris Rock wrote:"A platonic friend for a woman is like a d**k in a glass case. 'In case of emergency break open glass.'"
As for the man's point of view, Chris says that the man just hasn't found a way to get her in bed.

--- groink

LOL I totally agree with this

veritati · Post by **veritati** » May 15th, '06, 22:34

Most of my closest friends are females so it IS possible for males and females to be just friends. And there are also females friends whom I was attracted to, professed, got turned down, but still remain good friends. So for me, either scenario is possible. It all depends on what two people value about their friendship or relationship. In my case, my female friends are good-looking but I value their friendship more than I value my libido.

eiD · Post by **eiD** » May 16th, '06, 05:36

yup..i think possible....
...my bes friendz is a gal....
...waa...very gorgeous n beauty ..cutie...kawaiii...

...
sometime people thought i n her were a lover...

...but i didn't feel anything to her...
just frenz...
...i .wanna search a gf....
who ganna be my gf....???
hahaha....

a_evie · Post by **a_evie** » May 16th, '06, 06:11

i think it is possible.

my best pal is still a guy despite us both having married and settled down with other people. it really depends how you want to view a relationship and how you want it to develop.

a word of caution...we have to be sensitive to our partner's or spouse's feelings. not so easy during dating days. but things are easier when both decided to settle down.

aikidoaasa · Post by **aikidoaasa** » May 16th, '06, 06:38

I think that friendship between the sexes are possible. If that wouldn't be true I would have a lot less friends than I thought...

I'm one of those girls that get along with guys better than women. I have a thing against all that bull **** talk that they do. (I can say that because I'm a woman too.

)
Sure the "risk" of someone of them get to fall in love with me are always there, but is that "maybe" a reason to end the friendship with them? No, that's just plain silly. Most of them has girlfriends and sometimes it can be fun to example go shopping for presents with them as an advisor. (One friend asked me even to buy the lingerie for him cause he thought that the sailsperson looked scary.

)
My boyfriend thinks that it's ok too. Most of my friends are his friends to so this way it's funnier to do things together. And he has a few friends that are girls to and I'm not worried about that. (And that's not because they're not good looking, they are really good looking but it's the way he is with them that tells me that he hasn't any deeper feelings for them than friendship.)
So my vote is definetly a YES!

aikidoaasa · Post by **aikidoaasa** » May 16th, '06, 06:43

Just have to make an addition to my first message: If you have found the love of your life you don't get attracted to others cause you already have the perfect one. NOTE! This doesn't say that you can't think that other guys/girls can't be really good looking and think that they're sexy, but the lust to do something with them are not active the way it should be if you hadn't found the love of your life. This makes it true that a person of the opposite sex can be your friend!

mallorn · Post by **mallorn** » May 16th, '06, 10:09

Very much possible: In HS I befriended my best friend's now-ex before he started asking her out. I never imagined us jumping into a relationship as I was crushing very badly on someone then (:p) and then he started going out with my friend a few weeks later. So there! We were seatmates and groupmates in English, so we had many chances to talk about anything and everything, from Playstation games to his love problems to our weird English teacher to why guys like Jackass.

Sure, we ran into problems when people in our class started accusing us of cheating on my best friend, but she believed in me and we all just laughed them off.

We're still in contact, even though he and my friend have since broken up, and I hear that many girls have crushes on him in his new college (yeah well, according to him

).

xmz · Post by **xmz** » May 16th, '06, 13:43

aikidoaasa wrote:I think that friendship between the sexes are possible. If that wouldn't be true I would have a lot less friends than I thought...
I'm one of those girls that get along with guys better than women. I have a thing against all that bull **** talk that they do. (I can say that because I'm a woman too. )
Sure the "risk" of someone of them get to fall in love with me are always there, but is that "maybe" a reason to end the friendship with them? No, that's just plain silly. Most of them has girlfriends and sometimes it can be fun to example go shopping for presents with them as an advisor. (One friend asked me even to buy the lingerie for him cause he thought that the sailsperson looked scary. )
My boyfriend thinks that it's ok too. Most of my friends are his friends to so this way it's funnier to do things together. And he has a few friends that are girls to and I'm not worried about that. (And that's not because they're not good looking, they are really good looking but it's the way he is with them that tells me that he hasn't any deeper feelings for them than friendship.)
So my vote is definetly a YES!

i am one of those girls to who gets along better with guys. so most of my (best) friends are guys

. but i think that when the two of you aren't in a relationship, it will become easier to fall in love (be it mutual or not) with eachother. but when you are in a relationship (with others), and when you are friends -> i don't think it is likely for the one to fall in love with the other because you will know that you are risking your friendship.

but in my case i had some best friends who are guys and they started to get feelings but i didn't and eventually we couldn't be friends anymore

xmz · Post by **xmz** » May 16th, '06, 20:11

so that is why i think that it is difficult for a guy and a girl to be friends when they don't have an relationship eventually at some point one of them may fall for the other

aikidoaasa · Post by **aikidoaasa** » May 16th, '06, 20:33

xmz wrote:so that is why i think that it is difficult for a guy and a girl to be friends when they don't have an relationship eventually at some point one of them may fall for the other

I don't personally think that this is a reason. Cause then homosexuals couldn't be friends with their own sex either. And that does sound strange to me. Just because you happen to like someone from a special sex doesn't mean that you get to have a crush on everyone of that sex. (Ok, I know that a lot of people seems to think that about homosexuals, but that's a lie.)
And think of it like this: what about bisexuals... aren't they allowed to have any friends just because that they like people from both sexes. Poor them in that case.
So this is (atleast to me) a big evidence that it's possible to have friendsof the other sex.

sillypup · Post by **sillypup** » May 16th, '06, 20:39

Yes, anyone can be friends.don't matter what gender. it's all a belief system. the only thing that keeps one from being friends is the sex issue or the fact that most ladies can't be intimate or open towards others if they aren't involved as a couple. you don't see ladies discuss personal things(their view of what's personal) unless they are in a couple relationship. it's all about choice. there is so many ways to show connection/love without sex. most people just use sex as the defining point that determine one's friendship or type of friendship. hence, due to this sex filter, most people aren't friends. they are just sex buddies. that's why most relationships fail. friends was not priority. sex buddy was the determining factor why they know each other or reason for them to open up. once that is gone. they can't seem to tolerate each other and feel akward. guess friendship is determined by one's definition of friends of which people have different definition for. some don't have definition, they just follow social defintion or crowd. condition reflex

aquablue6789 · Post by **aquablue6789** » May 16th, '06, 20:42

I think it is possible, but such relationship can turn into a bf and gf relationship. This is a good and natural progression. As part of being friends, you would get to know the other person really well and enjoy each other's company (or else would not be friends), So, if one day the feeling of affection appears, the ground work of a good relationship is already done.

nikochanr3 · Post by **nikochanr3** » May 16th, '06, 20:55

Of course its possible, if not you couldn't have any friends of the opposite sex at all after you found someone you wanted.

This seems pretty simple to me. Some of the answers strike me as immature- do you guys hit on every women you see, no matter who they are?

The real question seems to be to me "Can I be just friends with someone I am very attracted to?". I think i'm a bit of a perv (no asian woman within 100 feet escapes my notice) and i have plenty of girls that are friends that I didn't try to sleep with, even when single. So i'd say its possible.

xmz · Post by **xmz** » May 16th, '06, 21:09

nikochanr3 wrote:Of course its possible, if not you couldn't have any friends of the opposite sex at all after you found someone you wanted. This seems pretty simple to me. Some of the answers strike me as immature- do you guys hit on every women you see, no matter who they are?

The real question seems to be to me "Can I be just friends with someone I am very attracted to?". I think i'm a bit of a perv (no asian woman within 100 feet escapes my notice) and i have plenty of girls that are friends that I didn't try to sleep with, even when single. So i'd say its possible.

hmmm maybe i should idd change the question to 'can i be just friends with someone i am very attracted to or someone who is attracted to me?'

that would be an interesting question too

k_fan · Post by **k_fan** » May 16th, '06, 21:10

mak2k wrote:
Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.

If one of them is unattractive, sure, they can be friends. I think a lot of people that believe they have platonic friendships aren't very close at all. They go on group outings now and again, but that doesn't signify much. If you're really that close to someone of the opposite sex, you stand a good chance of falling for them. Why do you think so many relationships begin as friendships and so many friendships fall apart because one likes the other? It's reality, folks. Don't live in a utopian bubble.

nikochanr3 · Post by **nikochanr3** » May 16th, '06, 21:25

k_fan wrote:
mak2k wrote:
Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don't.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.
If one of them is unattractive, sure, they can be friends. I think a lot of people that believe they have platonic friendships aren't very close at all. They go on group outings now and again, but that doesn't signify much. If you're really that close to someone of the opposite sex, you stand a good chance of falling for them. Why do you think so many relationships begin as friendships and so many friendships fall apart because one likes the other? It's reality, folks. Don't live in a utopian bubble.

I'd say a good portion of my friends are pretty hot. My wife's friends too. I have a LOT of pretty girls as friends. How can you fall for everyone possibly? One of my friends who I am close to use to do car show modeling. She's young, hot, asian and single. We are very close. We never dated though. Of course it happens. I've dated people who started as friends. But it doesn't always happens. People aren't dogs.

Your viewpoint is a little limted,

k_fan · Post by **k_fan** » May 16th, '06, 21:40

:shrug: I'm not saying this is always the case. I'm sure there are exceptions, but this is very common.

nikochanr3 · Post by **nikochanr3** » May 16th, '06, 21:48

k_fan wrote::shrug: I'm not saying this is always the case. I'm sure there are exceptions, but this is very common.

there are more exceptions than non exceptions i'd hope for most people. if the only friends i had that were female were failed / unable conquests, that would be...kind of sad.

k_fan · Post by **k_fan** » May 16th, '06, 22:11

nikochanr3 wrote:if the only friends i had that were female were failed / unable conquests, that would be...kind of sad.

Not conquests, but perhaps women you weren't attracted to for one reason or another (e.g. not your type, different goals in life, maturity level, in a relationship, etc.) After all, if you were good friends and they were such great people and you were unattached, wouldn't you have pursued them?

Horizon · Post by **Horizon** » May 16th, '06, 22:20

Men and Women can be friends but it will never be the same as a same sex friendship assuming both of you are straight, simple as that. You can ignore the male-female feelings but that doesn't mean they aren't there and no matter how much you ignore them they'll always influence your thinking, whether you like it or not, whether you notice or not. Nature never intended for males and females to be friends and that much i agree with, even though i have female friends. Frankly human society is silly to me, either be sexually promiscuous or not, one or the other; No in betweens, they just complicate matters.

xmz · Post by **xmz** » May 18th, '06, 00:46

k_fan wrote:
nikochanr3 wrote:if the only friends i had that were female were failed / unable conquests, that would be...kind of sad.
Not conquests, but perhaps women you weren't attracted to for one reason or another (e.g. not your type, different goals in life, maturity level, in a relationship, etc.) After all, if you were good friends and they were such great people and you were unattached, wouldn't you have pursued them?

I agree with k_fan, maybe that is also one of the reason why most relationship start off as friends (if the feelings are mutual) and some off them end there (even if they say they are still friends, they can never be friends in the way as before).

x_XJules · Post by **x_XJules** » May 18th, '06, 00:55

it's totally possible. i grew up always having guy friends (i'm not a tomboy.. i just don't get along with girls

). i've had problems along the way.. like a few friends will fall for me or whatever.. but the true friends... i don't know how to explain it... it's more like we're siblings than friends. the mere thought of being romantically with the other is disguisting on both parts.

ew.

veritati · Post by **veritati** » May 18th, '06, 00:58

Horizon wrote:Men and Women can be friends but it will never be the same as a same sex friendship assuming both of you are straight, simple as that. You can ignore the male-female feelings but that doesn't mean they aren't there and no matter how much you ignore them they'll always influence your thinking, whether you like it or not, whether you notice or not. Nature never intended for males and females to be friends and that much i agree with, even though i have female friends. Frankly human society is silly to me, either be sexually promiscuous or not, one or the other; No in betweens, they just complicate matters.

Are you saying you are not human? You must not be - or you are too young - if you don't comprehend the full genre of human emotions. Not everything is about s-e-x. I am as straight as they come and I do have beautiful female friends, but that doesn't mean I am attracted to every single one of them. I think it's the same for most people, although some might not want to admit it. Perhaps you haven't had enough experience to see the full sprectrum of human relationships.

groink · Post by **groink** » May 18th, '06, 01:45

Reading through the various posts, I think there are enough posts now to quantify the area that possibly needs defining.

What is "being friends"?

In the American movie Lucky Numbers, Russ Richards had casual sex with Crystal despite any form of a relationship. There was one scene I found totally hillarious where the two of them were sitting in a room, plotting out a scheme to cheat money out of another character. After they finished the discussion, there was about a 10 second pause. And then suddenly Russ asks Crystal, "I have nothing to do. Hey, do you want to have some sex?" And she replies, "Oh, sure!"

I think that's what's confusing some people in this topic... They're thinking that in order to be friends, you cannot have sex because by their beliefs, sex equal love or at least having feelings for each other. Therefore, friends cannot have sex.

For me, you can indeed have sex with friends of the opposite sex and still consider the relationship a friendship. For me, love is things like your heart pumping when I'm in the same room with a certain woman. But my sexual desire kicks in, it has nothing to do with love or wanting to be bf/gf with the woman. Without being too descriptive, I basically want to do really naughty things to the woman.

It isn't just me either... Throughout time, many men - important or otherwise - had concubines. It was common in Japanese past where a man would have a wife he totally adored and cherished with his life, but on the side he had one or more concubines. And the wife totally knew about it... When you're out there slaughtering your enemy with your samurai sword, you need to have total focus for the work at hand. But if you're horny as a mo-fo, you may not be as focused as you should be, and before you know it your head is cut off. So the wife felt that for her man to survive in times of battle, it was good for the man to get his horniness out of the way so that he can then come back home and do the wife/husband thing.

But somewhere down the line, someone started mixing sex with love. I wish I knew when this happened. Going back to today's time, a man can look at his woman friend's ass and then later post on D-Addicts that he has a perfectly good friendship with women. And I have absolutely no quarrels with that. The man has decided to keep sex and a loving relationship totally separate. And I think he's in the right state of mind in thinking so because I strongly believe the same thing.

So once again, how does one define "being friends"? You can read many definitions of the word "friend", but I don't believe there's even one definition that says you can't be making whoopie with a friend. I think the sex part was an ammendment.

--- groink

azndgn26 · Post by **azndgn26** » May 18th, '06, 01:52

I think it is absolutely possible for a guy and a girl to be just friends or maybe even best friends. Having a friend of the opposite sex does not mean that opposites always attract. You can have a friend of the opposite gender and not be attracted to him/her in a sexual way but can be great friends because of the personality bond. Sometimes one might led to another but it is possible to be just friends, nothing more and nothing less. Anything's possible in this world.

mimmi · Post by **mimmi** » May 21st, '06, 08:13

ok, interesting posts....my two cents to share, someone was right, some relationships started out from friendships....and some friendships dissolved from getting into an intimate relationship or just from one of them suggesting to become intimate....

@ groink first post....the Chris Rock theory; not so true with some woman (about the glass thing)....I remember watching him when he said that on stage, he is a funny guy that makes you laugh.....@ your 2nd post....Isn't it that's when maturity comes in? Isn't it that's when a man suppose to be able to control his desire toward other female if he has somebody very special in his heart waiting for him? Isn't it that's what it mean to be a real man is to be able to control all emotions, (well, that's what the Islands saying for all men species)....so what happen to: to love, honor, and cherish....maybe that's for uncommited ones that are so horny like the bees, or are you saying, never trust a guy 'cause they're so horny, they don't have control over their emotion in that aspect, they act upon it....hmm, am I suppose to worry now?

...sorry if I sound like preaching, but I'm not, I'm just wondering loudly to your posts

fat_otoko · Post by **fat_otoko** » May 21st, '06, 08:27

I vote its possible,it depends on the situation too.

Post by **lilswtangel** » May 21st, '06, 08:42

sure...why not? I have plenty of friends who are are of the male sex and we have no problems with being just platonic friends.

However, most relationships do stem off from friendship so there's always a chance where you end up hooking up with your friends. But that doesn't mean guys and girls can't be strictly friends.

Xi@h · Post by **Xi@h** » May 21st, '06, 08:50

Yes it's possible. I'm a living proof. I like her and she only like me as a friend and we are now best friends ever. We confide to each other our worries.

seaweed · Post by **seaweed** » May 21st, '06, 09:04

It's possible. I have this really close guy friend. We play, share our woes with each others etc yet we are friends

pubbie · Post by **pubbie** » May 21st, '06, 15:35

It is possible for men and women to be friends. It is easy for men to go from friends to lovers. I guess that is not true of women (hence "lets just be friends", shows that lovers and friends are VERY seperate things)

Littleangel91356 · Post by **Littleangel91356** » May 21st, '06, 18:46

I think it's possible. Some guys are more comfortable with girls as well as girls are more comfortable with guys and that's my case. It kind of makes you that way depending on how you were raised.

I personally HATE hanging out with those girls who only talks about shopping, clothes, and love so I rather talk to guys, and it's ok somehow(if they don't find me annoying/hate me or that is

)

If we can be friends with the same sex, why can't you be friends with a different sex? I think it's a bit stereotypical. Ok there may be girls who want to sleep with guys they get along with and vice versa but it doesn't go with all the relationships out there. There's soo many different people, they probably arel thinking different in some way.

Lantis · Post by **Lantis** » May 21st, '06, 22:00

its a difficult question...i think...in a normal friendship...the guys always want more..even though they would never admit it...but the girls...i think they can see guys only as normal friends,not more.
thats the difference...but a friendship is possible between them

doc_tomoe · Post by **doc_tomoe** » May 21st, '06, 22:06

i did all of that

if two people meet who just don't have any romantic interest in another ...

xmz · Post by **xmz** » May 21st, '06, 22:24

mimmi wrote:ok, interesting posts....my two cents to share, someone was right, some relationships started out from friendships....and some friendships dissolved from getting into an intimate relationship or just from one of them suggesting to become intimate....

@ groink first post....the Chris Rock theory; not so true with some woman (about the glass thing)....I remember watching him when he said that on stage, he is a funny guy that makes you laugh.....@ your 2nd post....Isn't it that's when maturity comes in? Isn't it that's when a man suppose to be able to control his desire toward other female if he has somebody very special in his heart waiting for him? Isn't it that's what it mean to be a real man is to be able to control all emotions, (well, that's what the Islands saying for all men species)....so what happen to: to love, honor, and cherish....maybe that's for uncommited ones that are so horny like the bees, or are you saying, never trust a guy 'cause they're so horny, they don't have control over their emotion in that aspect, they act upon it....hmm, am I suppose to worry now? ...sorry if I sound like preaching, but I'm not, I'm just wondering loudly to your posts

i hope so too that not all guys are after sex, because that would be just a scary image for girls i suppose. a relationship with no real love and feelings but just a relationship containing out of plain sex

berek247 · Post by **berek247** » May 21st, '06, 23:32

Ok, this convo has made me interested enough to register for the forums.

I totally agree that you can be friends with a person of the opposite sex, but, like with what people have already said, somehow they find the person unattractive in some physical or psychological way. They can be a totally hot person, but they don't meet your expectations in some way, whether you realize it or not. Or else you're just in denial.

It all has to do with how modern society deals with things, mostly influenced by religion. Nowadays, sex has been reserved until after marriage and it's become a really sacred thing. Not that anything's wrong with that, I think it's a good thing, but I think what groink was trying to say in his post was that back then, love and sex were totally different things and it still is like that for many people, not that men are all a bunch of sex hungry dogs. While SOME men are like that, you can probably find the same amount of women who are the same way. And it's not like women don't want to either, it's just that men are more open about it and the fact that women reach their sexual peak a loooong time after men have had theirs.

I believe that they already have a title for that type of friend/sex relationship already anyway: "Friends with benefits".

Back to the actual topic, here's an example of what I was talking about with the attractiveness part. You meet this really good looking guy/girl. You sort of hang out in the same group every once in a while, but nothing really special going on, and you start to find this person really attractive and become interested. After a while, you start hanging out with this person a lot more, but after a while, somehow, you don't feel interested anymore, and you have no idea why. I mean, this person's still really attractive, but you feel like you're just friends and nothing else.
I know at least some of you have experienced this before, and I sure as hell have. If you haven't yet well.... just wait for it.

nikochanr3 · Post by **nikochanr3** » May 22nd, '06, 01:01

Some of the "its not possible" arguments make me scratch my heads because i have very close female friends, and my wife has male friends, and they were our friends prior to us meeting each other, so the opportunity was there. There are some people you just dont feel that way toward. If you felt that way toward eveyrone, life wold be about impossible to deal with.

xmz · Post by **xmz** » May 24th, '06, 14:41

Jeremiah wrote:Yes it's possible. I'm a living proof. I like her and she only like me as a friend and we are now best friends ever. We confide to each other our worries.

wow she must be very lucky to have you. i wish i could have such relationships with guys who fell for me but who i saw just as friends.

Mythrel · Post by **Mythrel** » May 24th, '06, 16:57

Well poor Jeremiah

Its not exactly the situation he wanted but being a the good guy he is knew where to cut the losses. He got an awsome friend out of it and thats what counts the most.

I also agree with some of the responces from the guys a bit over the top. I think if sex is always your goal then well good luck there tiger. Female friends are probably the best kind friendships you can get. Somethings two guys cannot ever sit down and discuss or open up but you can with a female friend.

nikochanr3 · Post by **nikochanr3** » May 25th, '06, 18:07

On the flip side, if you are very attracted to someone its hard to be friends. I'm wouldnt cheat, so that's not an issue, but I have a female (casual) friend that i think is just incredibly pretty, and i cant be that close to her. It just makes me flustered and feel like i SHOULD try something, even though it would be disasterous in a thousand ways.

The attraction can kill things sometimes.

pokute · Post by **pokute** » May 25th, '06, 18:21

nikochanr3 wrote: Some of the "its not possible" arguments make me scratch my heads because i have very close female friends, and my wife has male friends, and they were our friends prior to us meeting each other, so the opportunity was there. There are some people you just dont feel that way toward. If you felt that way toward eveyrone, life wold be about impossible to deal with.

Some of the "it's not possible arguments" scare the s*** out of me! Are these people really out there walking around on the street and not locked up somewhere?!

nikochanr3 · Post by **nikochanr3** » May 25th, '06, 18:25

pokute wrote:
nikochanr3 wrote: Some of the "its not possible" arguments make me scratch my heads because i have very close female friends, and my wife has male friends, and they were our friends prior to us meeting each other, so the opportunity was there. There are some people you just dont feel that way toward. If you felt that way toward eveyrone, life wold be about impossible to deal with.
Some of the "it's not possible arguments" scare the s*** out of me! Are these people really out there walking around on the street and not locked up somewhere?!

its called denial. Some guys (especially older ones) need to speak the talk since they cant walk it.

UM, OF COURSE I TRIED TO BONK THAT GIRL! IM A MANLY MAN.

Some people are like that though. My wife's co-worker kept asking her out, and when she said no he finally said "But you talk to me. You don't like me? Why do you talk to me?"

The world is a scary place. Only the promise of a new drama season holds it together.

pokute · Post by **pokute** » May 25th, '06, 20:01

nikochanr3 wrote:Some people are like that though. My wife's co-worker kept asking her out, and when she said no he finally said "But you talk to me. You don't like me? Why do you talk to me?"

I had a friend who was an engineer at UNNAMED_LAB who got that kind of crap from a guy there... When she told me about it I started doing the same thing to HIM (I'm a guy) and the result was hilarious. There seems to be a considerable element of sexual identity insecurity involved in overly-agressive "manly" behaviour.

Haruno · Post by **Haruno** » May 29th, '06, 12:54

Is certainly possible. I am a married girl and I have good male friends from 16-17 years old -now I am 27-. (sorry if you don not understand me, my english is poor)

rickt · Post by **rickt** » May 31st, '06, 10:34

my vote goes to yes, it is possible to be just friends because that has always been my experience. I'm assuming being "friends" here meaning people that you hangout with, talk and/or confide to. and not what people refer to as "friends with benefit" like mentioned above. so yes, that is possible.

adding sex to friendship, with the opposite sex or not, always complicates the relationship more. so is it possible for a guy and a girl to be just friends after they've had sex? no, I believe not. unless they stop having sex with each other, or their "friendship" would never last long. sex is where I draw the line. I mean we don't live in the hippies era anymore. or else married couple can always refer to their affair partner as friends and that's cool with their family.

"oh mommy is having sex with her friend upstairs, and daddy is cleaning the bathroom"

huh?

Schala · Post by **Schala** » May 31st, '06, 13:14

Seeing as how I've grown with having almost all guys friends all of my life, yes it is quite possible. There were a couple I admit to developing crushes on, but later got over them. And I definitely didn't develop crushes on all of my male friends.

xmz · Post by **xmz** » Jun 3rd, '06, 22:40

rickt wrote:my vote goes to yes, it is possible to be just friends because that has always been my experience. I'm assuming being "friends" here meaning people that you hangout with, talk and/or confide to. and not what people refer to as "friends with benefit" like mentioned above. so yes, that is possible.

adding sex to friendship, with the opposite sex or not, always complicates the relationship more. so is it possible for a guy and a girl to be just friends after they've had sex? no, I believe not. unless they stop having sex with each other, or their "friendship" would never last long. sex is where I draw the line. I mean we don't live in the hippies era anymore. or else married couple can always refer to their affair partner as friends and that's cool with their family.

"oh mommy is having sex with her friend upstairs, and daddy is cleaning the bathroom" huh?

i think that it doesn't even have to be sex that is added to a friendship. as soons as there are feelings involve that go further than friendship ( the want of more) can already change the situation. as long as both are still single it will need time to come to the former friendship (if that is still possible) but as soon as the one who has developed the feelings starts to get feelings for another then it will become possible again to be real friends who can go out with eachother and so on. but as long as he still has the feelings (even without having sex with the other person) the friendship will change and complicate the relationship. thats my opinion anyway

milleu87 · Post by **milleu87** » Jun 3rd, '06, 22:46

i think it is possible. one of my closest friend is a guy and i don't think i ever think about him in other way and so does he. he got a gf and i know his gf although not well because of the distance. it's like he's kind of my brother and me as his lil sister.

wingsky · Post by **wingsky** » Jun 3rd, '06, 23:25

I think it is also possible - The girls I am friends with, I don't hold any romantic feelings for... also for some reason I act different when i'm with a female friend than a male friend! (talk about different subjects etc) But I guess that is pretty normal too.

Its only when it gets to a stage where I see a guy with only female friends or a girl with only guy friends, that freaks me out a bit

oh and also ex-es. Impossible for me to be friends with any of my ex, unfortunately.. too much baggage ^^

scott12199 · Post by **scott12199** » Jun 3rd, '06, 23:36

only in dramas

cgozun · Post by **cgozun** » Jun 4th, '06, 00:06

Just one example when it's possible already made not possible impossible.

jazzy5000 · Post by **jazzy5000** » Jun 4th, '06, 00:10

I think that opposite sexes do eventually fall for each other after being close friends, but even after going out it is always still possible to stay friends.

yaya* · Post by yaya* » Jun 4th, '06, 00:39

its possible..i hve tons of guy pals.im more comfortable with my guy pals then some of my girl friends...

Oguri_Shun_fan · Post by **Oguri_Shun_fan** » Jun 4th, '06, 01:00

one of my best friends is male and we get along great with just friendship. Granted when i fisrt met him I had a crush on him but that's all in the past. I'm no longer intrested in him and he's not intrested in me in that way. we're just friends and that's all we'll ever be.

LightningEmperor · Post by **LightningEmperor** » Jun 4th, '06, 01:06

..so you think....

Oguri_Shun_fan · Post by **Oguri_Shun_fan** » Jun 4th, '06, 01:08

LightningEmperor wrote:..so you think....

lol yeah I know way too much about him it's a major turn off lol

Romance · Post by **Romance** » Jun 4th, '06, 01:13

what kind of question is this... i have like hundreds of friens that are female, the same with dudes

jieshi · Post by **jieshi** » Jun 8th, '06, 06:46

Totally possible. When it comes down to it you are in charge of your emotions therefore making you in charge of whether you pursue that crush you feel you have on them

pimpcorolla · Post by **pimpcorolla** » Jun 9th, '06, 19:17

guys will always think about sex.
girls might be able to set the different

redsexxy · Post by **redsexxy** » Jun 12th, '06, 19:45

I think it's possible for a guy & a girl to be just friends.

kikioo · Post by **kikioo** » Jun 13th, '06, 03:14

Total, Of CouRse! For Me

OvertheRainbow · Post by **OvertheRainbow** » Jun 13th, '06, 03:23

Of course it's possible. People who say its not possible always say the same thing over again :Guys think about sex, etc. Just because you don't have a friend of the opposite sex does not mean others don't. I actually have lots of friends that are boys because I grew up with them and since they are a bit older, there's never been that issue of crushes and stuff because I only think of them as brothers.

kikioo · Post by **kikioo** » Jun 13th, '06, 03:29

i Agree with OvertheRainbow... 100% All The Way!!

xmz · Post by **xmz** » Jun 20th, '06, 23:14

i think for some it is possible for others not really cause it all will eventually depent on the persons. if the guy for instance finds the sex is more important than the friendship it will become impossible to stay friends. if the guy or girl persues his/her feelings and they end op together that is than great caus who wouldn't want a girl/boy friend who is also your (best)friend but if it ends differently it will be possible that they will end the friendship they have and try to start over again or that they will stay friends but it will not be the same as before in the beginning and eventually may grow to become a close friendship again. but that is only with people that you don't tend to see as your brother or sister.

cause if you see them as your brother or sister than it is much easier to become best friends cause fase it. who would like to go out with his brother or sister - ieks- so eventually i think it all will depend on the things which you have gone trough and the kind of relationship you have and the situation. i thank those who participated in the poll and for sharing there memories/experience and please keep on sharing them cause who knows you may give someone hope in believing that there are still guys out there who aren't just thinking about sex or so

FionnEdan · Post by **FionnEdan** » Jun 21st, '06, 01:21

girls and guys can definately be frens w/o liking each other, it usually is rly fun . sometimes controlling emottions can help but mostly no feelings occur between either of the two. if
i have enuf frens that are cute girls and i dont hav feelings for any of them except for one, which happened cuz of mix signals but rly, its totally possible and worth a try haha, esp. if ur a fun person

dont ask y i put this in indigo hehe

chrizzy_bebe · Post by **chrizzy_bebe** » Jun 22nd, '06, 13:56

its possible, provided that they dont have any other intentions towards each other.

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