do you believe love after married?

rikochan · Post by **rikochan** » May 11th, '08, 06:48

my friend was very frustrated after being a couple for along time they break.
now she looking for somebody can take care of her for the rest of life.
so base on my story, do you believe love after married?

zyrene · Post by **zyrene** » May 11th, '08, 07:27

i dont get it... did you mean another love story after a broken marriage?
i dont quite agree about it coz if thats the case:

if you fall in love with someone else,
wouldnt it feel like the love youve been feeling up till
now were all lies?

rikochan · Post by **rikochan** » May 11th, '08, 10:02

no. my friend didn't married anymore. just have bf for many long years.
then they broke up. after that she find a new love but not longer. now i heard her family seek for her future hubby. then she tell me i want to try love after married.
i also agree bout that. bcoz sometimes be a couple too long without any plan its like wasting time.
but not like she was deprate.
hahahha

fastat3m · Post by **fastat3m** » May 11th, '08, 23:44

I think you can learn to love someone after you are married. However, I would try to get to know them somewhat before I do anything. I would at least want to know if they are a good person or not. However, your thread sounds a little confusing. At first, I thought you meant, that she was married, and if it was alright to search for love else where while married. I was thinking, omg, thats pretty much cheating on your husband. I think its possible for your friend, but she should think about it first. If she just got out of a long relationship, she may be making this type of decision off of emotion, but she should think carefully before deciding on something so important.

Basuha · Post by **Basuha** » May 11th, '08, 23:58

Yes, I think you can love someone after marriage as long as your heart is empty and not fill with love for someone else...

G'boy · Post by **G'boy** » May 12th, '08, 02:56

rikochan wrote:my friend was very frustrated after being a couple for along time they break.
now she looking for somebody can take care of her for the rest of life.
so base on my story, do you believe love after married?

Gf, what the hell are you talking about? I mean really gf, don't you need to be in love before you get married anyway? Please gf, this the millennium, tell your friend to be less dependant on others, and get married for the right reason. Yes gf, there might be less sex after marriage but you'd still love your wifey/hubby unless theres marital problems, etc.

rikochan · Post by **rikochan** » May 13th, '08, 16:26

hahah, in this world now is hard to see honest guy or a good girl.
that why my friend accept her family proposal.
but i agree with you bf, we need to be love before we set the comitment.
she now 26 years old. and all her friend has been married.
a girl when she know all her friend married, she will thinking about that too.
not about jealousy, but is more like to be same like her friend.
i also pray for her that she know what she do...

G'boy · Post by **G'boy** » May 13th, '08, 20:42

Ok rikochan gf, I'm really really thinking thinking really really hard trying to crack da vinci code in you post up above. I mean really gf, are you telling me you no trust an honest guy/girl out there but you trust your parents to pick an (presumably) honest guy for you to marry? But you just say there's hardly an honest guy/girl out in this world?

g-em · Post by **g-em** » May 15th, '08, 09:39

"In life, you'll love two persons. The first is the one who changes the way you see yourself and the world. And the second one is the one who puts the pieces of your heart back together after you have lost the first one."

rikochan · Post by **rikochan** » May 15th, '08, 16:22

g-em wrote:"In life, you'll love two persons. The first is the one who changes the way you see yourself and the world. And the second one is the one who puts the pieces of your heart back together after you have lost the first one."

i really really agree.
very matured
so g'boy how about you?
are you have any experiance?

zyrene · Post by **zyrene** » May 15th, '08, 16:28

g-em wrote:"In life, you'll love two persons. The first is the one who changes the way you see yourself and the world. And the second one is the one who puts the pieces of your heart back together after you have lost the first one."

hmmmm... make it three please... at least include our mothers...

slowmoe · Post by **slowmoe** » May 15th, '08, 16:36

@g-em...like your quote....whos more important 1 or 2..... @zyrene....hope ya not adding your mom to the marriage package deal.....

dima · Post by **dima** » May 15th, '08, 16:38

no personal experience here, but if there were none, why marry in the first place?

I reckon it's realistic to have a great love every few years, although I'd hope for just one

zyrene · Post by **zyrene** » May 15th, '08, 16:49

@slowmoe
no not in the marriage package deal.. but in life, if what g.em said was right i think we should include a third person....

Halfass · Post by **Halfass** » May 15th, '08, 22:22

slowmoe wrote:@g-em...like your quote....whos more important 1 or 2.....

Both 1&2 are equally important.

Psst Zyrene!! Nasan ang balot ko?

G'boy · Post by **G'boy** » May 16th, '08, 03:51

rikochan wrote:so g'boy how about you? are you have any experiance?

Rikochan gf, I have so so many experiences in my life if might corrupt your pretty little virgin ears. I don't want your parents come looking for me, Darling. Anyways gf, what about you? Have you ever been in love? Please do share. Mwah!

zyrene · Post by **zyrene** » May 16th, '08, 04:11

Halfass wrote:
Psst Zyrene!! Nasan ang balot ko?

Halfass, bat marunong kang mgtagalog?
HalfAss, how come you know how to speak Tagalog?

Halfass · Post by **Halfass** » May 16th, '08, 14:26

zyrene wrote:Halfass, bat marunong kang mgtagalog?

Secreto ito. *Wink

zyrene · Post by **zyrene** » May 16th, '08, 14:45

@halfAss
naman, magkababayan pala tau... akala ko foreigner ka... hehe
tga-san?

rikochan · Post by **rikochan** » May 17th, '08, 04:48

g'boy, i'm married. and i was the one who believe it.

Halfass · Post by **Halfass** » May 17th, '08, 06:49

zyrene wrote:@halfAss
naman, magkababayan pala tau... akala ko foreigner ka... hehe
tga-san?

Hulaan mo kung saan, o anong bansa ako.

zyrene · Post by **zyrene** » May 17th, '08, 10:52

@halfAss

mmm.. theres only one country who uses the tagalog language and its Philippines, right? where in Philippines? at least name your province...

slowmoe · Post by **slowmoe** » May 17th, '08, 19:37

@zyrene....halfass isnt a filipina.....she speaks several languages like a lot of peeps on this board....tagalog being one....

Takekaze · Post by **Takekaze** » May 17th, '08, 19:47

G'boy wrote:Rikochan gf, I have so so many experiences in my life if might corrupt your pretty little virgin ears. I don't want your parents come looking for me, Darling. Anyways gf, what about you? Have you ever been in love? Please do share. Mwah!

So that means you actually have little to no experience. Those who boast loudest are usually those who know NAFT. Why else would they have to boast?

Sexual experience doesn't really qualify as "love" anyway, it's just screwing around. Pretty sad actually. Sex without love... bleh... masturbation with third party involvement. Not impressive, not at all.

Marriage without love? Impossible for me. Marriage without loyalty? Impossible as well.

zyrene · Post by **zyrene** » May 17th, '08, 19:49

@slowmoe
yah, after digging the forum i discovered that she was born in france...

i always wanted to know other language other than english and tagalog..

slowmoe · Post by **slowmoe** » May 17th, '08, 20:12

@zyrene.....you went digging info on her....lol......me too...would be nice to know other language....like french or german....me lazy to learn and wasnt always the smartest in the group....shoooot......have you traveled to the states.....

xplicit · Post by **xplicit** » May 18th, '08, 01:09

G'boy wrote:
rikochan wrote:so g'boy how about you? are you have any experiance?
Rikochan gf, I have so so many experiences in my life if might corrupt your pretty little virgin ears. I don't want your parents come looking for me, Darling. Anyways gf, what about you? Have you ever been in love? Please do share. Mwah!

Shame on you, G'string!

zyrene · Post by **zyrene** » May 18th, '08, 06:52

slowmoe wrote:@zyrene.....you went digging info on her....lol......me too...would be nice to know other language....like french or german....me lazy to learn and wasnt always the smartest in the group....shoooot......have you traveled to the states.....

hehehe... yup just curious.....

i always had a bad impresion on her but now i think shes cool...

peace halfy...

@explicit

G'boy · Post by **G'boy** » May 18th, '08, 15:56

Takekaze wrote:blah blah blah

Oooh I like you, Takekaze bf/gf, so when can I experience you? I promise I'll not scream too loudly for the neighbours to hear. Call me. Mwah!

xplicit · Post by **xplicit** » May 19th, '08, 00:16

zyrene wrote:@explicit

Why are you anger?
You've been speaking to Jscorpio. You have her bad attitude.

zyrene · Post by **zyrene** » May 19th, '08, 01:35

xplicit wrote:
zyrene wrote:@explicit
Why are you anger?
You've been speaking to Jscorpio. You have her bad attitude.

because of this

xplicit wrote:
Shame on you, G'string!

its just mean...

yunizuka · Post by **yunizuka** » May 19th, '08, 02:03

sorry to disappoint you guys but loving someone for ever is just a cute fairy tale that your parents told you when you were little...
look around you...divorced ppl are everywhere

chinacho · Post by **chinacho** » May 19th, '08, 02:19

Yes it is definitely possible to stay in love after marriage. But there is no denying that the love changes. It is both chemical (your brain reacts differently to someone you have loved for a long time) and intentional. The excitement you feel at the beginning of love starts to lessen after some time, and many people, confusing that rush of emotion for love, think that the love has gone. In fact, literally speaking, your brain has become addicted to the chemicals released when you are around your loved one. As with any addiction, the effect lessens over time. But you still, as long as you don't have serious issues, should have a great deal of love, affection and appreciation for that person. Passion sometimes lessens, and sometimes comes back full-force. I am speaking from experience. When you are both busy and tired, it's hard to feel the same as before. But when you get a chance to recharge, and focus on each other, you can re-ignite the passion and it is great. All through this, though, you have to preserve the intention to stay together, no matter what you may be feeling at the moment. If you are mature, you will realize that just as emotions come, they can go, and they can come back. So don't base your idea of love, and your relationships, only on emotion. Base it on commitment. If you are both committed, your love life will survive any ups and downs and over time you will truly grow together in such a way that you could never imagine being apart.

Sorry for the rambling answer, but I am a busy married man.

I just wanted to throw in some perspective from one who has lived what you asked about.

zyrene · Post by **zyrene** » May 19th, '08, 02:24

yunizuka wrote:sorry to disappoint you guys but loving someone for ever is just a cute fairy tale that your parents told you when you were little...
look around you...divorced ppl are everywhere

i agree... true love does not exist thats why many people dream of it...

@chinaco
being married is quite scary....

chinacho · Post by **chinacho** » May 19th, '08, 02:25

yunizuka wrote:sorry to disappoint you guys but loving someone for ever is just a cute fairy tale that your parents told you when you were little...
look around you...divorced ppl are everywhere

This is, many times, because people stopped adding the secret ingredient that your parents or grandparents probably had in their relationship... commitment. If one or both are not deeply committed to each other, eventually you will have a breakdown in the relationship. It is very hard to find true commitment these days, I'm not denying that. But it exists, and if you have someone truly committed to you, you are lucky and you better keep your end of the relationship too.

chinacho · Post by **chinacho** » May 19th, '08, 02:29

zyrene wrote: @chinaco
being married is quite scary....

It's not always a piece of cake... it takes work. People say a relationship should be a 50-50 proposition. Sure, but after you make that commitment to each other, it should be a 100-100 proposition. Sometimes you will find times you feel the other person is contributing 0% to the relationship. Those are the times you need to give 100% even if you don't feel the love. In my experience, those times pass and you come back to the good times...

No relationship is perfect. That is a fairy tale. But relationships can and do last if you put work and dedication and true love into them, even when your mate is not perfect.

Jscorpio · Post by **Jscorpio** » May 19th, '08, 02:35

<b>@Takekaze:</b> Why are people so quick to judge and/or make false assumptions on others based on a few posts?? Just so you know Takekaze, my cousin, G'boy, has been with his boyfriend for nearly four years now.. In other words, they are in an exclusive, long-term, mature, and serious relationship..

Cheers, mate..

yunizuka · Post by **yunizuka** » May 19th, '08, 03:05

chinacho : yea I agree with you, maybe commitment is the secret to have a relationship but committed ppl are uncommon nowadays

moreover ppl on D-A have a very idyllic vision of love... I mean watching all these dramas isn't good for your mental, really... ppl really think love is like dramas. They should try to have a real life...
no offense I'm a drama addict too but I know that reality is way different =)

Nura · Post by **Nura** » May 21st, '08, 07:26

There is no life after marriage

http://beforeandaftermarriage.com

ali_sen · Post by **ali_sen** » May 21st, '08, 07:56

Many people think that love is a feeling. Feelings change. But this is not the only answer. Love is more than just a feeling. Love is faith, love is commitment, love is hard work.

My "significant other" was in a war for 3 years. During those three years, he was gone and I was alone. I waited for him. When he came home, he was a different person. War changed him. Our love felt very different. But because we believe that love is work, faith, commitment, we have slowly been making our life new together.

Now we are very happy. It is still not always easy, but... I can only say to not give up. There are always more than one level to love, and it can get better or worse depending on how much effort both people put into the relationship.

Nura · Post by **Nura** » May 26th, '08, 16:23

There is no ANY life after marriage! Check out this site: http://beforeandaftermarriage.com
so funny!

meredith · Post by **meredith** » May 29th, '08, 11:13

for me, i'm so-so. i'm not really helping right??haha

well, if love b4 marriage, you get to know him and that was safe. so that you know that guy was kind or bad. just in case.

if love after marriage also can be okay. it just like the korean drama: Full House. they fall in love after marriage and get to know each other after mariage. that's alos cute and sweet. at least u're not bored of him. hehe

NO0O0RA · Post by **NO0O0RA** » Jul 2nd, '08, 18:37

the right right right right love after weading ...coz they live on the right way..love is not easy to love any one u see...after weading they communicate with ather ,speaking,help each other,etc...
so i agree love after maried:)

biniBningPunkista · Post by **biniBningPunkista** » Jul 2nd, '08, 19:15

yep.. i believe in love after marriage.
although there is the possibility that the kind of love they felt for each other changes after that...

Ruka707 · Post by **Ruka707** » Jul 7th, '08, 13:13

Yeah, I believe that if two people really love each other, that feeling won't disappear after the marriage.

mimmi · Post by **mimmi** » Jul 8th, '08, 04:33

@ Ruka707, yes you are right....there is love after marriage, you guys just have to experience it to believe it

....so happy finding that great right one for you

....

dabogy · Post by **dabogy** » Jul 15th, '09, 02:57

YES----BUT ITS SOME KINDA DIFFICULT, I SHOULD SAY.
MARRYING SOMEONE YOU DONT LOVE JUST TO SAVE OR RETURN BACK A FAVOR. YOU MUST BE A HERO

Katschoo · Post by **Katschoo** » Jul 18th, '09, 22:17

yunizuka wrote:sorry to disappoint you guys but loving someone for ever is just a cute fairy tale that your parents told you when you were little...
look around you...divorced ppl are everywhere

statistic says, one out of four couples end up in divorce, but that still means that there are three couples that stay together, for each that breaks up.

Youji · Post by **Youji** » Jul 28th, '09, 21:18

Humm I do believe in love after marriage
but there is a lot more to keeping a marriage than just love or sex..
There has to be substance to your marriage and it is a work in progress for both parties involved.

isbes83 · Post by **isbes83** » Jul 28th, '09, 22:32

if the couples are meant to be together, the love will develop at any time regardless before or after marriage. that is what i believe

crazzycat · Post by **crazzycat** » Aug 4th, '09, 12:58

yes why not, if people love each other i believe their love will only be stronger every day of marrige
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I have the coolest wallpaper

XrayZ · Post by **XrayZ** » Aug 4th, '09, 13:25

It depends on the people, like everything. Some people change more than others as they get older, and people change in unpredictably different ways.

I'm happily divorced, I and honestly get on better now with my ex-wife than I did for the last year or two of our marriage. What killed us off as a couple was the (inevitable) slump that happens once the initial romance wears off... seems to be 2 to 4 years after meeting.

But (apart from serious personal stuff I won't bore y'all with) what killed us off as a couple was that we changed in opposite directions. She became more politically active and became part of a circle of people I found unutterably boring, I became more introverted and culturally obsessed (which of course she found unutterably boring!)...

However, my parents were madly in love til the day my dad passed away, over 30 years of marriage... I used to find it a little embarrassing as a kid that my parents would kiss and hold hands and stuff, not realizing how rare it is or how lucky they were.

Incidentally, both my mum's new partner and my ex's new partner are really nice and I find that a total relief. I'm single, which to be honest I also usually find a relief... though not always.

mimmi · Post by **mimmi** » Aug 6th, '09, 03:46

yes I still believe in love after marriage after all this time

....

krayfi · Post by **krayfi** » Aug 20th, '09, 14:06

I do. Love evolves in different ways over time and as many have said, you've got to be in it to experience it.

Having said that, it also depends on you and your partner, if you all are even in the relationship for the right reasons. I have friends who aren't in relationships for the right reason and no I won't be surprised if they get married and then separate.

nankasento · Post by **nankasento** » Aug 20th, '09, 17:46

No, especially if it's just for the reason of getting by in life, you don't need marriage to get by in life.

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