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How strict are your parents?

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Kity_Kira

How strict are your parents?

Post by Kity_Kira » Jul 28th, '08, 11:32

I don't know if there's a thread like this up. *has checked, but didn't see anything* But I'm just wondering how strict your parents are?

I think my parents can be overprotective strict sometimes..
For example, my dad wouldn't let me wear make-up. My mum won't let me buy certain clothes. My parents don't like me going out at all. My dad went crazy for choosing a course for Uni.. He prefers the business type. They only let me date Chinese, Japanese or Korean. Not that I mind though. :wub: They go angry if I get sick and when I make mistakes. My mum calls me names all the time such as lazy pig.

I do my chores, I do everything to please them... I need freedom! :glare: I can't wait to move out. But still, my mum wants me to phone them every week. -_-;;
Last edited by Kity_Kira on Oct 17th, '08, 19:23, edited 2 times in total.

Basuha
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wow

Post by Basuha » Jul 28th, '08, 12:52

Wow, it goes without saying that America cultures is different then most cultures in the world. That being said my mother is Japanese and Africa American. We live in the (ATL) Atlanta Georgia. My mom can be over protective but not over the top. My dad is Korean and over the top about everything my dad behavior is mostly stem from the fact I don’t have the typical Korean/Japanese shape. My figure comes from my Africa American Ancestor so I have curve. When I visits my grandparent in Japan my friend joke about my shape being like an anime character, when I was younger it kind of bother me. Now that I'm older my shape fit perfectly in the ATL.

Both of my parents are very loving and supportive of me. I date Korean and a black guy, my dad is very respectfully of my choice but I think he prefer if I was with Korean. My mom doesn’t care either way as long as the man is good to me and good for me.

Verbal insult from a parent is consider verbal abuse in America it not a good thing to call your child names. I know it acceptable in Asia cultures but neither one of my parent follow that trend. My Korean grandfather verbal abuse my cousin all the time, he acts just like those Grandfathers in the Kdrama (too cute). I think it cute because it done in a loving way, no evil intent behind it.

I think if I was raise in Korea or Japan my parent might act differently, because I know I change a little when I visit my grandparent to fit what they think is acceptable. Since we live in America my parent have adapted to the saying “When in Rome Do What the Roman Do” (LOL)

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crocus
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Post by crocus » Jul 28th, '08, 13:35

i am an asian but from south east part of asia, where our culture is full with custom and politeness. even now i'm in europe, i still bring my culture and custom with me.

so, i'm not used to verbal insult at all !!! besides, i'm the princess of the family and i can say that i'm a totally spoiled brat. i just can't imagine to live like you, kity_kira... but well, every family has their own way of life. i just can't compare mine with others...

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pumahmistress
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Post by pumahmistress » Jul 30th, '08, 06:07

Ok, sure my parents have been hard on me from time to time but I know that they only want what is best for me. Although if my dad got to choose I would NEVER date, haha.

They haven't agreed to all my past boyfriends, sure, but the ones they've really disliked I've quickly gotten rid of too. Parental approval is important to me.

Maybe sometimes they have been overprotective but most of the time I've been free to follow whatever road I want to take in life.

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pn0yb0i
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Post by pn0yb0i » Jul 30th, '08, 06:13

It must be the culture here in America.

I've lived here in Los ANgeles my entire life.

My parents are not that strict anymore - or probably not strict at all. Of course - I do as im told like take out the laundry from the car, or carry the 50 pound rice bag to fill the rice dispenser, replace my bedsheets etc. nothing much. I can even go and roam around the city - and I don't have a cellphone, without having to tell anybody.

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bluespring
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Post by bluespring » Jul 30th, '08, 22:54

They don't let me out of the house.

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pn0yb0i
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Post by pn0yb0i » Jul 31st, '08, 00:02

bluespring wrote:They don't let me out of the house.
How old are you?

Oh yeah - I forgot to mention that I'm in college :P

DemonofRazgriz1
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Post by DemonofRazgriz1 » Jul 31st, '08, 03:35

^ lucky you

I'm in college but my parents always want to check up on me. While it was my fault, that because of my past (read: ex gf) that they're more strict on me, I know it's because they care. But seriously it does get annoying. I usually spend my time at college to minimize the time I'm at home so I can at least have a little space. They're always pressuring me about grades and they should, but sometimes it's way too much for me.

bananaloverz
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Post by bananaloverz » Jul 31st, '08, 04:17

My parents are different one from another (^_^). Mom is kinda conservative, but Dad is really liberal (like me!). But both they both let me do what I like if I am persistent enough, though. Like watching dramas and reading comics..(otaku? u got it right!) Yeah, they spoilt me.. But it is nothing like a good life, cos both of the are in war much through out my life even though they've divorced. Anyway, I'm out that house long time ago (happy I did so) and all of us is bad at communication, so we mostly don't really know each other.

XrayZ
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Post by XrayZ » Jul 31st, '08, 04:45

kity kira, i'm scared of your parents!

i dropped in this thread to say HI! as a token parent in the discussion.... but jeez, i'm not THAT kind of parent!

when i was 12 i used to go out in paris drinking (lotsa facial hair, but we were never once asked for ID anyway!), and sometimes didn't show up until the next morning... now my own daughter is 11 but i think it'll be a few years before i have to worry about that!

her mum's way over-protective (divorced years ago, btw) and won't let her go out on her own or even in a group of friends her age, and it actually worries me that she's not very independant... she hates to be left alone in the house for too long, and turns shy around new people (though when she gets to know them she's a personal space invader and loves to dish out "friendly" insults!)

as a kid, i always felt like i was disconnected from my parents and i sometimes even felt a little envious of friends whose parents seemed to give more of a **** (not saying anything against mine, and i was only a little envious!)...

verbal insults don't mean much in my house cause we're a foul-mouthed family (my little angel referred to me as a "stupid f***" the other week - much hilarity!) but its different when people actually mean it - maybe u ought to call a family sonference kinda thing, tell 'em to chill the f*** out!

long post but hey, my offspring is heading towards the TEENAGE thing, which is scary for a parent (trust me on this!) so parent-child relations are important to me! :D

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bluespring
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Post by bluespring » Jul 31st, '08, 16:53

pn0yb0i wrote:
bluespring wrote:They don't let me out of the house.
How old are you?

Oh yeah - I forgot to mention that I'm in college :P
your not very observant are you

evil4ever
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Post by evil4ever » Jul 31st, '08, 17:37

for me my mom is not strict nor she spoils me .. i think i am in between .. she trust me and trust my opinions and actions also it is fine with her to let me mange the household and the finance of the house if she is not around even though I have two older brothers.. for me the way the daughter represent herself to her family and the way she treat them the way they will treat her and look at her … mm for me to build the trust it took me years of talking, negotiations and asking my mom what she want from me and how she want me to treat her and what should I do to make her believe in me .. and believe me it works .. these small conversations made the magic in my relationship with my mom .. so do the talking but before talking do something good to them like cooking the dinner or cleaning the house .. then start you topic .. << it will work

Kity_Kira

Post by Kity_Kira » Aug 1st, '08, 22:27

Well, I don't think my parents will ever change, my relatives even tried to talk them down, but they can be so stubborn. Weird, I thought a lot of Asian parents are strict.

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«minah»
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Post by «minah» » Aug 1st, '08, 22:48

Well, I only live with my mom, and well, she can be strict at times. She's very... contradicting. Like, she will want me and my brother to clean (and in a way she's a neat freak) but won't do it herself. -_- Well, I think since I'm raised as a somewhat kinda decent person, there were no problems with curfews, boys (I only dated one guy, still with him, going on two years soon when I started college) sex (again, never ever been with anyone except for my current boyfriend and I am still a virgin) drugs (I just don't do them) alcohol (don't do that because my mom is a an alcoholic) or anything really considered "bad" or "wrong".

But, she does have a problem of me wanting to get green streaks in my hair and an eye brow piercing. She thinks I won't get a job that way, even though I have one at the time being and not planning to leave yet, and in college... no one cares how you look like! Plus, it's only hair! I'm about to be a junior in college, so... not like I have to worry about job searching ^_^U But I think it's mainly because my family is black, and not many black people..... have green hair...? So, I think that's really the main reason to that. My mom doesn't question my friends, (I only have one really at home, and in college... kinda maybe 2...? I'm a bit anti-social) But, me and my mom bump heads a lot! It's a whole other issue and family problems.. hehe ^_^U

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pn0yb0i
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Post by pn0yb0i » Aug 1st, '08, 23:10

bluespring wrote: your not very observant are you
Just skimmed through your first post.

Im guessing the Abbv. "Uni......." is University? :D

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getawayfrom
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Post by getawayfrom » Aug 2nd, '08, 00:00

For those of you who have parent should be proud no matter how strict they are. I for one is not one of those lucky people. My Dad passed away when I was 5 yrs. and my mom remarried and never contact me and my siblings until we were teenager, thus I never count her as my mom. Anyway, growing up with step-parents who are the stricter than the devil himself is a nightmare come true. You are their toy to torture with whether they are in a good mood or bad mood. Not only that their birth children are no better then they are. The only way is to survive the best you can until you are out of their lives. Sounds pitiful right? So be happy and proud to have such strict parents who still loves you even though they are strict, mostly for your own good.

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bluespring
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Post by bluespring » Aug 2nd, '08, 18:17

^Anybody complaining about strict parents, please listen to getawayfrom.

Also, do you look like Matilda, getawayfrom?

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xCLEA
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Post by xCLEA » Dec 4th, '08, 23:34

my parents aren't strict at all .. lol
yeah, they bug me about my grades, and my chores, and about teasing my sisters and brother but .. yeah
i live in a native community so theres not really to worry about (except maybe wild animals :P)
its really safe here, so they don't ask where i am .

lucky me ? :P

cesothao
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Post by cesothao » Dec 5th, '08, 21:47

Well my parents use to be very strict until they were separated. When they were together, everything must be the way they wanted.. expecially to my dad's satisfaction. He's a clean freak. Since he's a truck driver, he only comes home on the weekends so during the rest of the week, it's a bit relaxing. Being the 2nd oldest in the family, my older sister and I would have to do all the house chores such as dishes, setting tables, sweeping the floors, vaccum, and cook rice.... other dishes were made by my mom XD. We weren't allowed to sleepover at friends house.. we can sleep at our cousins house but MUSt come home early in the morning... how sucky, eh? haha.. but then I'm glad they were strict... I grew up not corrupted like most people around me.
Now that my dad no longers lives with us, my mom is really laid back. It's because she has been so depress over their separation and her surgery. The one in charge now is my older sister with a bit of my help.. man what a headache.. these kids arent even mine... I think imma die young.. hahah.

nankasento
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Post by nankasento » Dec 27th, '08, 17:36

My parents were strict in the beginning and the older I got the less strict they became until the point came I can do whatever I want just as long as I go for it a 100%.

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BlueIce84
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Post by BlueIce84 » Dec 27th, '08, 18:17

When I was growing up, my mom was always overly strict. It was pretty much her way or the highway. Not that she was all bad. Certainly not. Looking back though, I feel she over did it on some things. I didn't have a lot of freedom with her, which only made me rebel more as a teenager.

My dad, on the other hand, was much easier to get along with. He was the type to let me make my own choices and my own mistakes in life and then learn from them. I always felt like he was more respectful of me; not letting me run wild of course, but still giving me space.

My mom and I get along considerably better now, given we're not in each other's faces 24/7. I love her, but sometimes people just can't live under the same roof. In our case, distance has really helped our relationship.

athene121
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Post by athene121 » Feb 1st, '09, 23:08

BlueIce84 wrote:When I was growing up, my mom was always overly strict. It was pretty much her way or the highway. Not that she was all bad. Certainly not. Looking back though, I feel she over did it on some things. I didn't have a lot of freedom with her, which only made me rebel more as a teenager.

My dad, on the other hand, was much easier to get along with. He was the type to let me make my own choices and my own mistakes in life and then learn from them. I always felt like he was more respectful of me; not letting me run wild of course, but still giving me space.

My mom and I get along considerably better now, given we're not in each other's faces 24/7. I love her, but sometimes people just can't live under the same roof. In our case, distance has really helped our relationship.

Wow. That pretty much sums up my parents in a nutshell, too. Glad we're all on the same boat here. :unsure:

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Das_Phantom
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Post by Das_Phantom » Feb 5th, '09, 01:56

I'm not sure about my parents being strict. My dad is pretty laid back and always discusses things with me like i'm an adult, but he doesn't like me going out a lot and coming back late. While my mum is way too over protective and is always nagging me(haha i get called a lazy pig as well).

About my mum, i think the reason why my relationship with her is stressful is because unlike my dad she is around the house a lot more. So she notices me just lying around doing nothing other than watching TV or being on the Net and so yells at me often for being lazy. She is also way too over protective. I use to hate it when i went to play soccer around my area, she always was worried that i would get into fights and even when i was like 15 she would come out to pick me up :/ She is just much more direct and treats me like a kid compared to my dad. haha, i hate it so much when i do one little thing wrong and then she brings up a list of all the things i haven't done due to being my lazy self( getting new bank account, driving test, revising etc). I guess that is her way of raising me, but it is really hard to handle the constant nagging and so that's why i really want to move out for university. It's not just because of her, but i just want to be more independent and have more freedom.

Still my mum may be too over protective, always nagging but she is doing it for my own good. I can't forget everything that she has done for me. For some reason i just remembered this moment, like when i was 8 i lived kind of far from my primary school and there was soccer trials after school held for the school team. I really wanted to go, but my dad had work and so my mum had to pick up me and my sister. I can't believe she actually took my sister back home(1 hour journey home and back) and then came back sat down watching me play, and when the training was finished i was starving and there she sat with some food packed for me. I feel like getting up and giving her a hug, but she is sleeping and so would probably kick my ass haha

Whereas my dad always lets me decide on things and says i should do what i want to do. I guess i get along well with him, because since i was a kid i've spent a lot of time with him and that's thanks to watching and playing soccer with him. So like i wanted to do Law at University, but realised i wouldn't enjoy it at all and i would prefer doing a Politics and History degree which i find way more interesting. I was kind of hesitant in telling my dad, because i knew that if i did a Law degree it would lead to a secure career path and good income, but it didn't really motivate me and so i decided to pursue something i enjoyed instead. But when i told him, he told me to forget about money and do something that i enjoy. Same for when i wanted to get a job when i was 16 in the summer and he was like ' Don't worry about it, just have fun whilst you can' :) Now that i look back on that moment, he really spoiled me because we weren't really well off, but just had a decent amount to live on. He did some medicial degree in Yemen(btw from Somalia), but when he came to England he couldn't afford to spend time continuing with his study to make him qualified over here. Since after all he had to take care of me,my mum and sister. So he got a nightshift job at some Bakery factory and has been working there, ever since. Damn, he threw away his life just to provide for us lot.

I feel so worthless now tbh, but i will try to do everything i can to make them proud and repay them for everything they have sacrificed for me.

By the way, sorry for the long post. This topic got me thinking and so i just wrote down all my feelings about my parents here.

dabogy
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Post by dabogy » Jul 15th, '09, 01:31

Parents are not strict really, you will realize this after 30.. bit I am not 30 ..

My friend just told me, well I understand It anyways. It is the only way for them to make you proud of yourself someday.

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