Looks or Personality?
I think people do go for the looks initially. But looks do not matter in the long run. For example if i went to the movies and saw a group of guys, I would probably be attracted to the cool/good looking one. However, when you are trying to form a relationship, looks don't always matter. I have liked guys in my class/work who have been very attractive to me. But these said guys are not actually hot per se. But since I know them personally I find them attractive. I once showed my best friend the guy I liked and she was surprised because she thought he would be really hot the way I kept talking about him.
But when she herself got to know him she understood his attractiveness.
I do however think that guys go for the looks more. Is this actually true? I mean the handful of times I have seen guys decide on which girls they like, they have always picked the pretty girl who has either a bad personality or no personality to speak of. Haha, guys please defend yourself if this ain't true.
Moreover, looks can be altered with makeup, clothes. You can make a good looking person look quite horrible when you dress them in bad outfits and give them a bad haircut. There are ways to flatter yourself in ways that make you look beautiful and I think that is possible for everyone. (I however don't support cosmetic surgery.) Personality on the other hand is inbred. It takes years for someone to become the way they are. You can decide on who you want to be with based on their personality because that is something that a person carries for life.
But when she herself got to know him she understood his attractiveness.
I do however think that guys go for the looks more. Is this actually true? I mean the handful of times I have seen guys decide on which girls they like, they have always picked the pretty girl who has either a bad personality or no personality to speak of. Haha, guys please defend yourself if this ain't true.
Moreover, looks can be altered with makeup, clothes. You can make a good looking person look quite horrible when you dress them in bad outfits and give them a bad haircut. There are ways to flatter yourself in ways that make you look beautiful and I think that is possible for everyone. (I however don't support cosmetic surgery.) Personality on the other hand is inbred. It takes years for someone to become the way they are. You can decide on who you want to be with based on their personality because that is something that a person carries for life.
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Personality is more important, but...
Personality is more important, but both are nice. It's always nicer to be physically attracted as well to your significant other.
The thing is though, you can't really tell someone's personality for some time. You need to see them in good times, in bad times, in awkward times, etc. But you CAN tell someone's looks right away. So, sadly, even though it isn't/shouldn't be more important, it IS how people form their first opinions. And it kind of has to be.
The thing is though, you can't really tell someone's personality for some time. You need to see them in good times, in bad times, in awkward times, etc. But you CAN tell someone's looks right away. So, sadly, even though it isn't/shouldn't be more important, it IS how people form their first opinions. And it kind of has to be.
Re: Personality is more important, but...
I must agree, personality is really more important than looks. .If there is looks but dont have a good personality it's useless.WasabiVengeance wrote:Personality is more important, but both are nice. It's always nicer to be physically attracted as well to your significant other.
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I think this either or question is silly and a fantasy. It implies you can have looks but no personality or have personality but no looks. The real world doesn't work like that, and this question only serves an ego boosting response ("oh, personality duuh!").
Of course I'd rather hang with an ugly person that doesn't abuse me. Of course I'd rather have sex with a hot person than an ugly person. It depends on what your goal is - but neither is ideal.
HOWEVER. I'd go with LOOKS. Because everyone has a personality it just has to be the right one for you.
From experience, once you get past the 'snooty automatic defence mechanism' that every hot person has -which is meant to weed out creepy people - I've found that prettier people generally have nicer personalities for me.
I've never met an actual happy or confident fat person like you see on TV. Never. Unless they've had a few kids already and their spouse is happy too.
Also there are generally more uglier people that tend to be stalkers, paedophiles or serial killers. There's actual scientific studies about the shape of their noses and gratuitous beards/glasses!
Of course I'd rather hang with an ugly person that doesn't abuse me. Of course I'd rather have sex with a hot person than an ugly person. It depends on what your goal is - but neither is ideal.
HOWEVER. I'd go with LOOKS. Because everyone has a personality it just has to be the right one for you.
From experience, once you get past the 'snooty automatic defence mechanism' that every hot person has -which is meant to weed out creepy people - I've found that prettier people generally have nicer personalities for me.
I've never met an actual happy or confident fat person like you see on TV. Never. Unless they've had a few kids already and their spouse is happy too.
Also there are generally more uglier people that tend to be stalkers, paedophiles or serial killers. There's actual scientific studies about the shape of their noses and gratuitous beards/glasses!
In the end, looks is what makes you approach them or have interest in them in the first place. You cant see someone from across the room and think "that guy/girl has a great personality, I wonder if I can go talk to them". instead you see them, are physically attracted to them, and then after you've pursued it a bit more you find out about the personality.
Although it's different if you know them as a friend or acquaintance first. then you can grow to like them for who they are.
But you still wont move on it if you aren't in the slightest attracted to them. unless its on the internet; unfortunately looks is what drives us to find out about their personality.
though i wouldn't ever consider marrying someone with a bad personality!
Although it's different if you know them as a friend or acquaintance first. then you can grow to like them for who they are.
But you still wont move on it if you aren't in the slightest attracted to them. unless its on the internet; unfortunately looks is what drives us to find out about their personality.
though i wouldn't ever consider marrying someone with a bad personality!
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Everyone goes for look first, thats realistic but thats within the first min to 30 mins of meeting the person.
Whats everlasting is the personality, do i click with the person? Is that person good? Do I feel comfortable? And etc...
Personality wins in the end but as much as people deny it, we all judge books by their cover. A little sad but thats reality
Whats everlasting is the personality, do i click with the person? Is that person good? Do I feel comfortable? And etc...
Personality wins in the end but as much as people deny it, we all judge books by their cover. A little sad but thats reality
I'd agree with moustachegai in this one...
However, as the majority said... Personality will win in the end of this discussion.. Why?
I may post something that sounds funny but yet I don't mean to troll here.
You can't live with someone whose personality doesn't match yours, but you can have sex with ugly people, even though you were blindfolded.
Does that sound true?
However, as the majority said... Personality will win in the end of this discussion.. Why?
I may post something that sounds funny but yet I don't mean to troll here.
You can't live with someone whose personality doesn't match yours, but you can have sex with ugly people, even though you were blindfolded.
Does that sound true?
Heh. Two words for ya. Ted Bundy.
Also, Fat does not equal ugly or miserable.
On to the topic at hand, it's very true that saying you have to pick one or the other is silly. Everybody is a balance, and besides that everybody has different tastes. Some like skinny, some like BBW/BHM, some like dark, some like light, some like same sex, some like opposite sex. Physical attractiveness is subjective, not objective. Who's to say that someone you think is hot is someone I will think looks good too? That said, if someone is boring and has no sense of humour, well, I'm just not going to be interested. I don't care if she has double d's and an 18" waist, or if he looks like a greek god. Boring is boring.
Also,
On to the topic at hand, it's very true that saying you have to pick one or the other is silly. Everybody is a balance, and besides that everybody has different tastes. Some like skinny, some like BBW/BHM, some like dark, some like light, some like same sex, some like opposite sex. Physical attractiveness is subjective, not objective. Who's to say that someone you think is hot is someone I will think looks good too? That said, if someone is boring and has no sense of humour, well, I'm just not going to be interested. I don't care if she has double d's and an 18" waist, or if he looks like a greek god. Boring is boring.
Looks is important in the beginning of a relationship, at least if you want to catch a guy/girl f.e. in a bar/club/whatever. if you build a relationship with a work-related person or a classmate, then looks is less important.
Personality on the other hand is always important.
The appearance is still important. I made an experiment a few years ago. Until the age of 18 I've done a lot of sports (karate-do, kick-boxing and gym). But after an injury and the need of studying i dropped sports, but still had the same amount of food, so i gained almost 30 pounds. So i went to nightclub and tried to approach some girls and for a lot of effort(I was gentlemanlike) gained almost nothing. Then i've been in the army and reached my prefat-weight again and done the same thing again and well this time i was **** and a jerk, but still i had a lot more rewards, as in the "fat-state". So that shows, that girls at the age of ~20 go for looks and not personality.
Personality on the other hand is always important.
The appearance is still important. I made an experiment a few years ago. Until the age of 18 I've done a lot of sports (karate-do, kick-boxing and gym). But after an injury and the need of studying i dropped sports, but still had the same amount of food, so i gained almost 30 pounds. So i went to nightclub and tried to approach some girls and for a lot of effort(I was gentlemanlike) gained almost nothing. Then i've been in the army and reached my prefat-weight again and done the same thing again and well this time i was **** and a jerk, but still i had a lot more rewards, as in the "fat-state". So that shows, that girls at the age of ~20 go for looks and not personality.
You want to know what's weird? It *is* the personality. At least, in my experience with ~20 girls who like to go clubbing. For whatever reason *that* is what kind of personality they are attracted to! Often, given the choice between a good looking guy who treats them nicely and a jerk they will choose the jerk. It must be some weird evolutionary thing, because it just does NOT make sense to me!
So basically it could be concluded in "one girl's food is another girl's poison?"moadeep wrote:You want to know what's weird? It *is* the personality. At least, in my experience with ~20 girls who like to go clubbing. For whatever reason *that* is what kind of personality they are attracted to! Often, given the choice between a good looking guy who treats them nicely and a jerk they will choose the jerk. It must be some weird evolutionary thing, because it just does NOT make sense to me!
Surely it is interesting.
I am trying to help a friend to get his woman right now and so far, there are times when he got unexpected "secret admirers" hehe.
Back then in my early 20's, I was also behaving coldly towards girls. I was quite narcissistic (in terms of thinking I was better than anyone), self centered, cold, serious, with very little sense of humour... Then, the girls tend to stick with me.
Weird right? Hahaha...
I think that's a very true statement. To each their own I suppose, but it does get on my nerves. Keep in mind, I'm usually the friend they come crying to over guys who don't treat them well. I can be, heh, less than sympathetic because of the aggravation.
I would tell your friend that if he keeps trying and she doesn't respond, maybe he should move on to someone who can appreciate him. There's someone for everyone out there, it'd be a shame to get caught up in unrequited love!
As for your past experience, it's also an age and experience thing I think. I mean...Girls who are that age have less experience in what does and does not work in an *adult* relationship. They're kind of still going off of high school (I didn't understand their behaviour then either! lol) and I think that's why they put up with more crap. High school makes most of us insecure, so more likely to put up with crap maybe? Then as we get older we get harder to please? I don't know. There's a reason my guy friends don't ask me for a lot of advice, stuff like this baffles me.
I mean...girlfriends would get all giggly and wishy washy and be all "Oh, find out if he likes me!" and the more normal girls would get all these plans together to sneakily find out. Meanwhile, I'd go up to the guy and say "Hey, do you think <insert> is cute?" Then they'd get mad. Heh. What's funnier? This still happens. I tell people, don't ask me if you don't want me to follow through.
Apologies for disjointedness. I only got about three hours of sleep last night.
I would tell your friend that if he keeps trying and she doesn't respond, maybe he should move on to someone who can appreciate him. There's someone for everyone out there, it'd be a shame to get caught up in unrequited love!
As for your past experience, it's also an age and experience thing I think. I mean...Girls who are that age have less experience in what does and does not work in an *adult* relationship. They're kind of still going off of high school (I didn't understand their behaviour then either! lol) and I think that's why they put up with more crap. High school makes most of us insecure, so more likely to put up with crap maybe? Then as we get older we get harder to please? I don't know. There's a reason my guy friends don't ask me for a lot of advice, stuff like this baffles me.
I mean...girlfriends would get all giggly and wishy washy and be all "Oh, find out if he likes me!" and the more normal girls would get all these plans together to sneakily find out. Meanwhile, I'd go up to the guy and say "Hey, do you think <insert> is cute?" Then they'd get mad. Heh. What's funnier? This still happens. I tell people, don't ask me if you don't want me to follow through.
Apologies for disjointedness. I only got about three hours of sleep last night.
Hello,moadeep wrote:I think that's a very true statement. To each their own I suppose, but it does get on my nerves. Keep in mind, I'm usually the friend they come crying to over guys who don't treat them well. I can be, heh, less than sympathetic because of the aggravation.
I would tell your friend that if he keeps trying and she doesn't respond, maybe he should move on to someone who can appreciate him. There's someone for everyone out there, it'd be a shame to get caught up in unrequited love!
As for your past experience, it's also an age and experience thing I think. I mean...Girls who are that age have less experience in what does and does not work in an *adult* relationship. They're kind of still going off of high school (I didn't understand their behaviour then either! lol) and I think that's why they put up with more crap. High school makes most of us insecure, so more likely to put up with crap maybe? Then as we get older we get harder to please? I don't know. There's a reason my guy friends don't ask me for a lot of advice, stuff like this baffles me.
I mean...girlfriends would get all giggly and wishy washy and be all "Oh, find out if he likes me!" and the more normal girls would get all these plans together to sneakily find out. Meanwhile, I'd go up to the guy and say "Hey, do you think <insert> is cute?" Then they'd get mad. Heh. What's funnier? This still happens. I tell people, don't ask me if you don't want me to follow through.
Apologies for disjointedness. I only got about three hours of sleep last night.
I would say he was the person who had secret admirers everytime and I am trying to make him go out with someone.. That sounds funny right? Maybe that's like what it was said all along..
That's what is happening and most of the time he wasn't very much interested. Then, on the other occasion, he's sort of "cmon, help me out" sort of thing.
I am taking my time and happily doing things on my way for sure. I love to play match maker as it can be fun to tease him hahaha.
Oh well, I am still a little drunk from several consecutive wild parties heh
Your last comment amuses me because I've just wrapped up an hilarious conversation with my drunken bfam (brother from another mother). Hilarity for all!
I've only really played matchmaker once, and it was very successful . I often *tease* about playing matchmaker, because I would be no good at it. i'm about as subtle as a brick to the back of the head.
So is he just oblivious?
I've only really played matchmaker once, and it was very successful . I often *tease* about playing matchmaker, because I would be no good at it. i'm about as subtle as a brick to the back of the head.
So is he just oblivious?
I just got home last night, so I am going to drink water from now on.
I am actually often being asked to play matchmaker for friends who are single and looking. I don't really care much so I just set them up.
Well, he hasn't been asking me to play matchmaking for a while, but I guess the fact that he was chased by some girls for quite some time, and that sounds fun haha..
I guess I'll leave it to you to judge whether or not he was oblivious.. For my judgement would be much biased
I am actually often being asked to play matchmaker for friends who are single and looking. I don't really care much so I just set them up.
Well, he hasn't been asking me to play matchmaking for a while, but I guess the fact that he was chased by some girls for quite some time, and that sounds fun haha..
I guess I'll leave it to you to judge whether or not he was oblivious.. For my judgement would be much biased
Wow. That is...impressive. Then again, I only drink with a couple of groups of friends, and rarely at that, so i've not got the experience to judge lol.
I avoid playing matchmaker, my version of matchmaking is "hey s/he likes you, you should ask them out". Which is not always appreciated. Heh.
I wouldn't be able to judge cuz I don't know the guy, but sounds like he's either oblivious or really really really picky.
I avoid playing matchmaker, my version of matchmaking is "hey s/he likes you, you should ask them out". Which is not always appreciated. Heh.
I wouldn't be able to judge cuz I don't know the guy, but sounds like he's either oblivious or really really really picky.
Hahaha wow guys! Sorry for the disappearing act. I never came back to this thread since no one really replied when i first created it, understandably.
Shallow question? Only if you want to look at it that way i suppose. It was an honest question and i wanted to hear your opinions! To each their own, whether it be personality over appearance, vice versa, or 50/50.
From what i've seen so far (online and off), everyone bases their first impressions through the initial process of communication, be it eye contact for looks or telephone/online/letter for personality and etc blah blah blah
Anyway, not that the world doesn't know that already, i made this thread almost 3 years ago because of a conversation i had with my friends over some bubble tea. Just wanted to see what fellow d-addicts thought! Thanks to everyone for their input
Shallow question? Only if you want to look at it that way i suppose. It was an honest question and i wanted to hear your opinions! To each their own, whether it be personality over appearance, vice versa, or 50/50.
From what i've seen so far (online and off), everyone bases their first impressions through the initial process of communication, be it eye contact for looks or telephone/online/letter for personality and etc blah blah blah
Anyway, not that the world doesn't know that already, i made this thread almost 3 years ago because of a conversation i had with my friends over some bubble tea. Just wanted to see what fellow d-addicts thought! Thanks to everyone for their input
Choosing between looks and personality is really a challenge and can sometimes be so hard to make with that a mistake in choosing can really be pivotal. Personality can be developed actually though looks can be hard to come by when you really do not have something to root it from.
Though when it takes them a while to develop the personality, then you should very well move on as well.
Though when it takes them a while to develop the personality, then you should very well move on as well.
I see...moadeep wrote:Wow. That is...impressive. Then again, I only drink with a couple of groups of friends, and rarely at that, so i've not got the experience to judge lol.
I avoid playing matchmaker, my version of matchmaking is "hey s/he likes you, you should ask them out". Which is not always appreciated. Heh.
I wouldn't be able to judge cuz I don't know the guy, but sounds like he's either oblivious or really really really picky.
To each they own I suppose, borrowing that statement from you.
Oh well, he is very picky... And that is how I take my time and tease him over and over, especially when he's not interested. I also played similar matchmaking technique to yours... And I won't force him to date the girl, but more or less teasing him over and over like "should I tell her your phone number?" Or whatsoever hahaha...
Most people would be romantically/ sexually attracted to someone because of looks because it's the first thing they notice. But if a person has a rotten personality (or let's say an incompatible personality), then a smart person would not continue the relationship. I personally think it is exhausting to stay in love with a person because of his looks, yet you have nothing in common and fights 90% of the time.
Personality.
I've dealt with enough people to know never to trust how someone appears to be.
I've known 'nice guys' who were really nice and supportive but never made a move (nor made it clear that they were interested in me) then get all huffy when I start dating someone else. I've dealt with guys who seemed decent but ended up being complete jerks. No chick goes in a relationship wanting someone to mistreat them (unless they're into that sort of thing) for the most part, we get fooled. Once we realize it we either cry our eyes out or choose not to believe it (the "oh I can change him" mindset kicks in.)
Looks aren't even the issue once you're a bit older because you start to realize you go for a certain type of person (based on looks/personality or both). Hence why a lot of my friends date guys who are similar to their exs. It's just the type they go for, until they find someone who breaks the mold or fall in deep love.
That's my two cents anyway.
I've dealt with enough people to know never to trust how someone appears to be.
I've known 'nice guys' who were really nice and supportive but never made a move (nor made it clear that they were interested in me) then get all huffy when I start dating someone else. I've dealt with guys who seemed decent but ended up being complete jerks. No chick goes in a relationship wanting someone to mistreat them (unless they're into that sort of thing) for the most part, we get fooled. Once we realize it we either cry our eyes out or choose not to believe it (the "oh I can change him" mindset kicks in.)
Looks aren't even the issue once you're a bit older because you start to realize you go for a certain type of person (based on looks/personality or both). Hence why a lot of my friends date guys who are similar to their exs. It's just the type they go for, until they find someone who breaks the mold or fall in deep love.
That's my two cents anyway.
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I'm a very practical and honest person,. So mine is both, nothing less than this choice.. Why? For some reasons that I don't know about my self, I don't make friends on woman that I seem not good looking.. I'm not good looking myself, but please somebody help me change this trait of mine! Though, I can't stand it.. And so, I'm the falling in love type of guy.. I used to fall in love with a pretty woman's personality.. so that makes sense I guess that's why I need the two...
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Personality.
Looks are nice, but looks aren't everything and looks also fade. When you've seen someone's looks enough and later in life when wrinkles form, muscles don't work as well as they used you, maybe you start hunching over, you need something else to keep things going. That's where personality, common interests and goals and values, and love/a connection comes in.
Looks are nice, but looks aren't everything and looks also fade. When you've seen someone's looks enough and later in life when wrinkles form, muscles don't work as well as they used you, maybe you start hunching over, you need something else to keep things going. That's where personality, common interests and goals and values, and love/a connection comes in.
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True, to be frank. Looks are quite a requirement, but the deciding part is still the personality.Secret_Symphony wrote:Personality.
Looks are nice, but looks aren't everything and looks also fade. When you've seen someone's looks enough and later in life when wrinkles form, muscles don't work as well as they used you, maybe you start hunching over, you need something else to keep things going. That's where personality, common interests and goals and values, and love/a connection comes in.
I totally agree with you. Those who said looks do not matter, may not be truthful. But then again, love is blind.SummeryDreams wrote:True, to be frank. Looks are quite a requirement, but the deciding part is still the personality.Secret_Symphony wrote:Personality.
Looks are nice, but looks aren't everything and looks also fade. When you've seen someone's looks enough and later in life when wrinkles form, muscles don't work as well as they used you, maybe you start hunching over, you need something else to keep things going. That's where personality, common interests and goals and values, and love/a connection comes in.
Agree?
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Personality, it's
Personally, I feel attracted towards both, although personality beats the looks anyday...
If you love someone, no matter how they seem to everyone else, they'll look beautiful (in terms of looks, and personality) to you."Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."
I prefer personality (inner beauty) than looks (outer beauty).
The appearance can be deceptive, but the true personality could never be hidden.
Sometimes I imagine the worst case, if someone that I love had (unfortunately) accident and her/his face is heavily destroyed/damaged until you cannot tell her face, then the only thing I could rely is her true inner beauty (personality) and maybe memories made
The appearance can be deceptive, but the true personality could never be hidden.
Sometimes I imagine the worst case, if someone that I love had (unfortunately) accident and her/his face is heavily destroyed/damaged until you cannot tell her face, then the only thing I could rely is her true inner beauty (personality) and maybe memories made
I think, I understand that everyone has his/her own different apperance type of boy/girl he/she likes, but then I agree with Silica the looks is a bonus. The looks is secondary and it's a blessings to have good looks and personality (balance)Silica wrote:...and think of the the looks as a bonus, but it's always good to keep an balance
Re: Looks or Personality?
In general, Personality 60% Looks 40%
There is a minimum quality in a person's personality that must be present
The person also must be appealing to look at, as the say beauty lies in the eye of the beholder.
The best description would be a Ms Universe that exudes inner beauty LOL
There is a minimum quality in a person's personality that must be present
The person also must be appealing to look at, as the say beauty lies in the eye of the beholder.
The best description would be a Ms Universe that exudes inner beauty LOL
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Re: Looks or Personality?
I think the personality shows up in looks as well. When you see someone (without interacting) it is 80% looks that makes you look at them and make you curious enough to find out about personality, which in-turn is responsible for sustaining relationship.
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Re: Looks or Personality?
Islam set the rules for choosing your wife:
The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “A woman is married for four (things): her property, her good ancestry, her beauty and her religion. Behold! Obtain the religious woman, lest you would lose (good)!"
‹‹تنكح المرأة لأربع : لمالها ولحسبها وجمالها ولدينها ، فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداك››
So I say neither look nor personality, it's spirituality.
The Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “A woman is married for four (things): her property, her good ancestry, her beauty and her religion. Behold! Obtain the religious woman, lest you would lose (good)!"
‹‹تنكح المرأة لأربع : لمالها ولحسبها وجمالها ولدينها ، فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداك››
So I say neither look nor personality, it's spirituality.
Re: Looks or Personality?
Personality. There are plenty of guys I find initially unattractive and then the more I get to know them, they become more attractive.
Re: Looks or Personality?
I think personality over looks if you want a long relationship but in one night stand looks would be good - so it's upto who you are looking for
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