Hi, I was just wondering what I could do to try and impress this girl that I'm interested in. Things I could say or do, or understand about the culture, as I am not entirely familiar with all it's aspects.
I don't want to learn stuff like how to say "Hey baby, wanna come over to my place." or something juvenile like that. I just want to know if there are things I could do to make my interest more apparent.
Background is that I met her in Japanese class. She's practically fluent in Japanese, but because she spends her time speaking Japanese and Korean, her English isn't too good, so I have a hard time communicating my thoughts/feelings to her. She has an idea, but I'm not sure if she understands it all completely.
Also, lately we used to hang out alot, but after winter break and the start of the new semester, she hasn't really talked to me much, and I'm not sure if I should try and do all the conversation initiating, or just give her space. (again...I'm not sure what I should do...or if there's a cultural aspect which I should know before to help influence my actions)
So yeah, any help would be great. よろしくお願いします。。。and...komapsumnida...? (is that right?)
Impressing a Korean girl...
Is she there on exchange or is she actually from California?
As far as "impressing" her, the only way you're going to do that is by being yourself.
Sure, you can put on an act, play prince charming... but, once she finds out it isn't the real you, the fairytale is over.
But, they way to a woman's heart isn't changed because of ethnic boundaries; women, people in general, want the same thing.
Anyhows, random blather aside, you need to be genuine. If you sound like a dork in telling her that you'd like to spend more time together, be that dork. If you're a smooth-talker, be a smooth-talker; don't deviate from who you are.
Don't over-do it by trying to become fluent in Japanese or Korean right way... that'll just weird a person out. Try to learn... and ask for help. Since you're both in Japanese class, and you say she's fluent, as her to help you with your studies.
As far as "impressing" her, the only way you're going to do that is by being yourself.
Sure, you can put on an act, play prince charming... but, once she finds out it isn't the real you, the fairytale is over.
But, they way to a woman's heart isn't changed because of ethnic boundaries; women, people in general, want the same thing.
Anyhows, random blather aside, you need to be genuine. If you sound like a dork in telling her that you'd like to spend more time together, be that dork. If you're a smooth-talker, be a smooth-talker; don't deviate from who you are.
Don't over-do it by trying to become fluent in Japanese or Korean right way... that'll just weird a person out. Try to learn... and ask for help. Since you're both in Japanese class, and you say she's fluent, as her to help you with your studies.
She moved here 5 years ago. She said she doesn't plan on moving back to Korea, but does not want to become a citizen here either...which is another topic.hikkichan wrote:Is she there on exchange or is she actually from California?
I was not planning or trying to be anyone other than myself. I was more so looking for insight into Korean culture which would help me understand the recent increase in "distance" (so to speak) between us. Or things to avoid saying/doing so as to not offend her. Of course, I could probably be reading too much into it, and looking for signs that aren't there, but I won't know unless I find out, right?hikkichan wrote: As far as "impressing" her, the only way you're going to do that is by being yourself.
Sure, you can put on an act, play prince charming... but, once she finds out it isn't the real you, the fairytale is over.
But, they way to a woman's heart isn't changed because of ethnic boundaries; women, people in general, want the same thing.
Anyhows, random blather aside, you need to be genuine. If you sound like a dork in telling her that you'd like to spend more time together, be that dork. If you're a smooth-talker, be a smooth-talker; don't deviate from who you are.
Don't over-do it by trying to become fluent in Japanese or Korean right way... that'll just weird a person out. Try to learn... and ask for help. Since you're both in Japanese class, and you say she's fluent, as her to help you with your studies.
And I do plan on becoming fluent in Japanese. Not for her, but for me. It is nice that she can help me, at least, was helping me.
I'm more so the dork that you were referring to. Not a smooth-talker in the even remotest sense of the word...words.
Anyways, thanks for the advice!
I can't really offer too much culturally... just don't blow your nose at the table during a meal and respect seniority.
I used to date a model from Korea... She had only been in the US for schooling (about 3 years at the time)... and we never had any problems culturally.
Just never let pride get in the way of saying the words, "I'm sorry."
I used to date a model from Korea... She had only been in the US for schooling (about 3 years at the time)... and we never had any problems culturally.
Just never let pride get in the way of saying the words, "I'm sorry."
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PocketKiriyama
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popoycanton
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haha...no worries on both of those...at least, definitely on the first one. the 2nd one, i'll do my best...I usually do...just sometimes I may get carried away...hikkichan wrote:I can't really offer too much culturally... just don't blow your nose at the table during a meal and respect seniority.
I used to date a model from Korea... She had only been in the US for schooling (about 3 years at the time)... and we never had any problems culturally.
Just never let pride get in the way of saying the words, "I'm sorry."
and i may say "sorry" a little too much...i'm not sure...but yeah. Thanks!
Yeah, that's kinda how I am right now. Like, we've hung out and stuff, but that's been the extent of it. Brought her stuff when she was sick and little stuff, but haven't really been too outright about it. *shrug*PocketKiriyama wrote: Interesting.......used to have to same problem.
I blew by not doing anything.
From my experience I think you should go for it and talk to her.
Don't be like me, I only knew later from my younger sister that she was interested in me.
ONLY that I was too shy to ask her out.
bummer!!!
and yeah, definitely won't be telling her my sn on DA. that'd be really embarrassing...and most definitely Densha Otoko.
Thanks everyone!
I dated a Korean girl for about a year...I can only say that it was really a general feeling for each other that kept us together.
She did not care what I knew about Korea at all...which was interesting because both of us had this strange obsession with anime and Japanese.
Give it time and friendship at first...most people go with the idea of "you'll never date your best friend," but hasn't been the case of any of my relationships (and I can say, I have had very, very few of them - but they were sincere and heartfelt.)
Whatever the case, as long as she does not say consistently "I am too busy" or "We don't have that sort of time" in terms of going out together, you are doing something right.
At some point you will know whether or not she likes you. Before my ex started liking me, she had a hard time with touch and consistent communication physically (hugging, holding, etc)...when it began, she would call me randomly, ask me serious questions about herself, and hold on to me as if I were some sort of prize (which I don't know if I am or not, and am not going to describe for the sake of what is now in the past.)
At that point I took the initiative - I gave her a serious kiss, and before I knew it I was knees deep in love with her...as time went on it became stronger and more heartfelt, and I grew to love her far more than she ever loved me - which is why things didn't work out (in other words, she was still knees deep with me...and that was not comfortable for her).
Breaking up with her was very hard - we had so much in common, and that was painful in a manner that still haunts me 2 years later. If you aren't absolutely sure how you feel about her (as goes with ANY woman), don't go any farther than saying you are interested in her.
As for a reason why it's worth it...well let's just say that besides growing to love another person deeply as well as learning an insane amount about how foreign women are, you develop a strong feeling of confidence in yourself and your ability as a person to appeal to others (in general, I believe asian women tend to be more critical of men, since family upbringing and future dilemmas come up in their head a lot.) I now have a confidence I didn't have before, or with any other women I dated prior to her. It takes all of you to love someone, and you can't commit any of that until you know it is necessary to do so.
And yes, be yourself - but that does not mean anything without words to back it up. Tell her about yourself, and everything that makes you appealing to another person. Don't hide how you feel about things...I don't know any woman who only wants praise - you must not be afraid to confront her with your disagreements...regardless of race.
Altogether, be happy you met someone you liked that much - in this world we hate so many things, and it is a miracle everytime we are fond of something (in my opinion.)
She did not care what I knew about Korea at all...which was interesting because both of us had this strange obsession with anime and Japanese.
Give it time and friendship at first...most people go with the idea of "you'll never date your best friend," but hasn't been the case of any of my relationships (and I can say, I have had very, very few of them - but they were sincere and heartfelt.)
Whatever the case, as long as she does not say consistently "I am too busy" or "We don't have that sort of time" in terms of going out together, you are doing something right.
At some point you will know whether or not she likes you. Before my ex started liking me, she had a hard time with touch and consistent communication physically (hugging, holding, etc)...when it began, she would call me randomly, ask me serious questions about herself, and hold on to me as if I were some sort of prize (which I don't know if I am or not, and am not going to describe for the sake of what is now in the past.)
At that point I took the initiative - I gave her a serious kiss, and before I knew it I was knees deep in love with her...as time went on it became stronger and more heartfelt, and I grew to love her far more than she ever loved me - which is why things didn't work out (in other words, she was still knees deep with me...and that was not comfortable for her).
Breaking up with her was very hard - we had so much in common, and that was painful in a manner that still haunts me 2 years later. If you aren't absolutely sure how you feel about her (as goes with ANY woman), don't go any farther than saying you are interested in her.
As for a reason why it's worth it...well let's just say that besides growing to love another person deeply as well as learning an insane amount about how foreign women are, you develop a strong feeling of confidence in yourself and your ability as a person to appeal to others (in general, I believe asian women tend to be more critical of men, since family upbringing and future dilemmas come up in their head a lot.) I now have a confidence I didn't have before, or with any other women I dated prior to her. It takes all of you to love someone, and you can't commit any of that until you know it is necessary to do so.
And yes, be yourself - but that does not mean anything without words to back it up. Tell her about yourself, and everything that makes you appealing to another person. Don't hide how you feel about things...I don't know any woman who only wants praise - you must not be afraid to confront her with your disagreements...regardless of race.
Altogether, be happy you met someone you liked that much - in this world we hate so many things, and it is a miracle everytime we are fond of something (in my opinion.)
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watermelonghost
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watermelonghost
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silverlotus
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Be yourself.
If being yourself is not enough to impress her then she's the one for you.
Do what your heart tells you to do.
If the fruits of your heart does not speak directly to her heart, then she's not the one for you.
Of course, be sensitive to the whole Korea-Japan politics and history. And you'll be fine.
If being yourself is not enough to impress her then she's the one for you.
Do what your heart tells you to do.
If the fruits of your heart does not speak directly to her heart, then she's not the one for you.
Of course, be sensitive to the whole Korea-Japan politics and history. And you'll be fine.
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