Is it wrong for an Asian man to date a "White" wom

Marissa · Post by **Marissa** » Jul 15th, '08, 02:07

As part of the background for my question, please permit me to introduce myself. I am a Caucasian woman from a small town, who as a product of her location always dated Caucasian males. Later in life, I moved to a city, and for quite a while now I have been dating the most wonderful Asian man. I never thought twice about the differences in our races until recently when another Asian referred to him as a banana for being with me. This struck me as incredibly odd considering that we eat all the time at a restaurant that his parents, who immigrated here, call "authentic," he has taught me some of his language, which we use at home, and a lot of our every day items are from his culture. Yet, it seems that, by virtue of being with me, he is thought of as less. My question to everybody out there is simply: In your eyes, is it wrong for an Asian man to date a "White" woman?

hateytb · Post by **hateytb** » Jul 15th, '08, 02:21

i dont have anything to say about this, but base on your question, i dont think it anything wrong to date someone of a different races..

ImL0st · Post by **ImL0st** » Jul 15th, '08, 02:29

If you think the way I do then this question'll never come up-I think a man is a man, and a woman is a woman, anything else such as races, believes, social stands, edu, etc... doesn't matter to me. What does matter is how both feel and treat each others. Maybe I'm wrong or, perhaps, naive, but I'm happy with what I'm believe in

mii-t · Post by **mii-t** » Jul 15th, '08, 02:35

It's pretty easy to simple to say "no," but unfortunately, some people think otherwise. I'd venture a bet, though, that you won't find a lot of people on this site that have a problem with it. I'm a halfer so of course I'd say there's nothing wrong with it.

It amazes me that people concern themselves so much with other people's lives. I once met a group of Asian friends that pretty much disowned one of the group because she started to date a white guy. Of course not a single one of them could provide any kind of reasonable or logical explanation for why it was such a problem.

That being said, I have a couple of friends who's parents would prefer that they marry someone of the same background. They cherish their culture and want their children to pass it on to the next generation. I can understand that, but most of the folks I meet that toss out the the "banana" or "twinkie" term barely know a thing about their own cultural history, so I can't help but chalk it up to ignorance.

At any rate, don't let it get to you. Be happy and go make beautiful little hapa babies!

katzenjammin' · Post by **katzenjammin'** » Jul 15th, '08, 02:41

Okay, I agree (and have experience) with a lot of this:

mii-t wrote:It's pretty easy to simple to say "no," but unfortunately, some people think otherwise. I'd venture a bet, though, that you won't find a lot of people on this site that have a problem with it. I'm a halfer so of course I'd say there's nothing wrong with it.

It amazes me that people concern themselves so much with other people's lives. I once met a group of Asian friends that pretty much disowned one of the group because she started to date a white guy. Of course not a single one of them could provide any kind of reasonable or logical explanation for why it was such a problem.

That being said, I have a couple of friends who's parents would prefer that they marry someone of the same background. They cherish their culture and want their children to pass it on to the next generation. I can understand that, but most of the folks I meet that toss out the the "banana" or "twinkie" term barely know a thing about their own cultural history, so I can't help but chalk it up to ignorance.

This isn't what you asked but I think it's related: I do think it's important to realize that you will probably never be completely embraced as a part of your partner's culture... regardless of your eating their foods or speaking their languages. (You might think this way, you might not -- but it often happens when a person is interested in aspects of another ethnic group and/or culture.) Believing that you can is trivializing many things and won't help the relationship between yourself and members of your partner's culture. This doesn't justify any type of discrimination against you, but it's how people think. Respecting differences is the main issue here, and it goes both ways.

Nonbirira · Post by **Nonbirira** » Jul 15th, '08, 03:20

Having similar backgrounds certainly doesn't a guarantee a healthy/happy relationship. Sometimes the person who clicks just happens to be from another background/class/country/ethnic group/race. Relationships are mysterious things. No one else really understands or knows what passes between the two people who are in one. If the relationship works for the two of you - and you are both committed to it - then that in itself is a miracle! And one that many people never get to experience. So, basically, all that matters is how the two of you feel about each other. If other people have a problem with your relationship - it's their problem - not yours!

(btw, I'm a Canadian caucasian and have been married to a Japanese man for many years. I'm also a permanent resident of Japan. I struggled with this question a bit before I got married but soon realized that I couldn't live my life based on what others think. If it works for the two of us - what business is our relationship to anyone else? There will always be people who don't think we should be together - but that's their problem. Not ours... Oh, and my husband feels exactly the same way.)

someasianguy · Post by **someasianguy** » Jul 15th, '08, 04:03

well, this is quite a common issue in the asian american community. nothing is wrong for anybody to date whomever they want. but there is a lot of conflicting POVs within factions of the community. they're some who are just prejudice when it comes to interracial dating, a common occurrence in the community is asian males against caucasian males dating asian females, which i am occasionally guilty of doing. some are just simply jealous, which i occasionally am guilty of doing as well. but speaking for myself, i think its great to see asian males dating other females races, especially the stigma many asian males, such as myself, have when it comes to the whole dating scene where we see some of the same patterns of, either a perceived or coincidental, bias against asian males in the media and in some real life situations. then again i might be thinking too much.

marissa, i sincerely hope for the best in your relationship and don't take the insults by others too seriously. if you two are happy together, who gives a rat's arse about what others think.

MitsukaiKuroi · Post by **MitsukaiKuroi** » Jul 15th, '08, 04:14

Unfortunately, this is something that occurs with every multi-racial couple to varying degrees. Some will see it as a betrayal of race. And if the ethnic person is with someone that is white many within their own race will see it as the person thinking they are "too good for their own race". Or they see them as "trying to be something they are not."

There is nothing wrong with an Asian man dating a woman OF ANY RACE.

Race does not matter... If you love each other and you have the strength to deal with a few idiots that do not want to understand the great thing that you have don't worry about them.... Live your life. No one else can live it for you!

Marissa · Post by **Marissa** » Jul 15th, '08, 14:41

Thank you for all of your comments. Your thoughts mean a lot to me. First, let me clarify that I don't presume that I know a lot about his culture or feel that I should be accepted with open arms. I gave certain examples merely to show that he is proud and does embrace his culture. That fact is why I found it so mystifying that simply being with me would make others label him with derogatory terms. Second, I am not worried in the least bit of what others may or may not think of me. I love him and, in my mind, that is all that matters. I, however, truly do want to understand as much as possible what pressures or issues he might be facing. He is a tough man and would never show that these things bother him, but I feel from some reactions that has given, that they do upset him on some level. I just thought that the more I understand, then the more I could be there for him. Anyway, thank you again, and as always, any additional comments are appreciated.

aimlesswanderer · Post by **aimlesswanderer** » Jul 27th, '08, 07:49

As an Asian man living in a western country (Australia) who was born here and is very nativised, no, there is certainly nothing wrong. It is perhaps rarer and more difficult, but iIf you are happy and get along, well then all is good. There are always people with prejudices, just ignore them.

Some Asians, often those born overseas and older, prefer their friends/kids/grandkids to marry a "nice <insert> girl/boy", but that is often a combination of prejudice, wanting to have more in common with them, and also thinking that it will be "easier" for their kid to be happy and get along if they and their partner have a similar cultural background.

This goes both ways - one of my cousins (an extremely smart doctor, born here) married an anglo guy and his parents and grandparents (from a rural area) were not particularly enthusiastic, given the substantial differences in culture and upbringing (and, I suppose, the fact that she was Asian). They have been going strong for about 13 years, and have 2 kids. She gets along better with her inlaws now, but it is a slow process.....

maman_12003 · Post by **maman_12003** » Jul 27th, '08, 08:37

Hi!
I'm a caucasian woman, living in Europe, my parents are caucasians but from different nations, they had many familial problems because of that. I think if somebody involves himself in such a relationship, he-she must be very strog, to resist many many years against the blame of the short-minded. And if an interetnic relationship is so hard, I guess an interrasial relationship may be more more harder ...Is a person strong enough to resist for years? And to accept the fact that allways'll be aspects of his partner's culture that'll remain for him-her strange, ridiculous or inacceptable? Do both of them know how to raise the children not to be bothered by the other adults or children, who'll put them in difficult situations? I'm allready a mature woman but, if I remember the moral injuries I suffered in my childhood, it still hurts... And my parents was only from different nations, not from different races... But I have to accept an aspect that made me sometimes very happy: the fresh look with which i could uncover both cultures of my parents.

can · Post by **can** » Jul 27th, '08, 10:05

He's a banana and I'm an egg. w

I think this is a good start, but you really should look into what others have experienced and learn from it. I think this is only the tip of the iceberg. If your relationship progresses you may find that there are people who will discriminate against you and your children. It's your decision to be with him, but you should be ready for what may come in the wake of that.

For me the most difficult thing was the stereotypes about every foreigner in Japan being American and unable to speak without sounding like they were in first semester Japanese. I'd say you are lucky if you can get his parents to accept you and you don't have to go deal with the family back in the homeland right away.

You might want to check out this site: http://www.asianwhite.org/ It's not a pretty site, but you might be able to get some laughs and a little good advice out of it.

polarmi · Post by **polarmi** » Jul 27th, '08, 10:46

love is love..plus love is blind

hellokuromi · Post by **hellokuromi** » Aug 28th, '08, 01:33

No, I am a bi-product of that My Mother is Italian, and Father is Japanese, and now I am with a Japanese man.

sveta · Post by **sveta** » Aug 28th, '08, 01:56

Also, check out proazn.com <--- That site focuses on relationships between am/xf. Enjoy.

Mythrel · Post by **Mythrel** » Aug 28th, '08, 16:05

I'm from a small town with almost no Asians and I moved out to a city full of them and I'm dating an Asian woman now. I am an egg I guess in that sense, I've always been into Asian culture/foods/entertainment. I don't think his friend should have referred to him as a Banana for dating a white girl that's friggin stupid.

MeLu · Post by **MeLu** » Aug 28th, '08, 16:42

Well, from my personal experience, I'd agree with those who are saying that it's difficult enough to have a nice love relationship with your partner... and even more if this person is from another country, even on the same continent.
Being french and planning to live with my swede is for now easy I'd say, given the whole thing about Swedes in France and about French in Sweden. But many people think it's pretty strange to go "that far" (as they say) to find someone when I could have found someone "here".
Well, maybe.
Having the support of both of our families is a gift wonderful enough to pass on all of these comments. Should anyone else make this kind of remarks, I'll ignore them!
So yeah, you have to be even stronger, I'd say for two reasons :
- The two cultures are much different in your case (and it's already difficult to understand each other on the same continent);
- A lot of people will judge your couple by its appearance, and well, caucasian/asian is more noticeable than caucasian french/caucasian swedish.

All I can hope for you is that your families understand and support you ^^
For the others, well, they're not even close to friends if they're comparing you with food because of your love life. May they have a life as stupid as their stupid comments.

MeLu-^^

BeerChan · Post by **BeerChan** » Aug 28th, '08, 16:55

Very interesting topic.

Aishiya · Post by **Aishiya** » Aug 28th, '08, 16:56

It isn't "wrong."

It's cultural and race tolerance. Same principle with any interracial dating/marriage. It's everywhere rather you be black, white, asian, hispanic. It's usually from close-minded people. ;x

noobee · Post by **noobee** » Aug 28th, '08, 17:37

lol...

of course it isnt wrong

getawayfrom · Post by **getawayfrom** » Aug 28th, '08, 17:44

There is nothing wrong with dating and marrying other ethnic groups as long as you are in love and don't care about what other people think. I have relatives who's daughter married into other ethnic group and although their friends and family have nothing against them, they tend to talk behind the couple's back all the times. The relatives don't invite them to parties and family gathering and seldom talk of them. It's like they are forgotten really.

brohne · Post by **brohne** » Aug 28th, '08, 17:56

Marissa, there have been some excellent posts, and I have to agree with everyone. A person is a person, end of discussion. Any relationship is about compromise and communication. It doesn't matter who you date or marry, there are always major differences to overcome like different backgrounds for example. Most people give up on marriages even when they have married someone of the same race or ethnicity.
My advice is not any different from anyone elses. If he is truly bothered by the slurs, that is an issue he must confront. My cousin is the child of an interracial marriage. She is beautiful, smart and talented, yet she gets critism from both ethnicities. She, at a very young age, has learned to deal with this behavior. It upsets me that she has to. For supposedly living in a racially 'tolertant' society, racism is still a major issue.
I wish you all the best in your relationship.

merou2 · Post by **merou2** » Aug 29th, '08, 03:45

I think this is pretty much a pointless forum, of course its alright, if your happy and he is happy, then why do you care if other people think its right and wrong......will elaborate more, maybe, who knows, meh

FoolyDooly · Post by **FoolyDooly** » Sep 6th, '08, 11:58

It's not wrong. But if Asian parents were born at their origin-country, then they'll see it as wrong. For people with long history of bloodline, Racial Mix is nono. Especially for many Chinese (Some won't even marry Korean, or even one's from other province...).

Korean nowdays has "I'd hit it" attitude now, and Japan had it for a while D: so, who knows? I guess it just takes more for China because it's godamned bigger.......

Also, then there's the virginity issue.

buttercupsf · Post by **buttercupsf** » Sep 6th, '08, 12:09

I'm from Canada and if you look around its completely mixed. not just people but couples and children too. personally i'm a pacific islander and i dated a half korean half japanese man and it was the greatest love of my life. we both had some trials and tribulations go through primarily cause in both korea and japan we were a very odd couple but it was worth it. eventually the strange stares and such you get, you become proud of them because in a way you're leading the world. just like anything else new, its seen as different and scary but eventually people come to accept it and consider it the norm. where i came from we were the norm, where he came from, they were still learning. i think if you really love someone the whole world melts away and they're all you see. if thats the case then nothing no matter who it is can stop you. thats the power of love. the greatest things in the world are always worth the fight. and incase you were ever worried..two verus the world is far better odds than one versus the world. best of luck to you

mangoboiz · Post by **mangoboiz** » Sep 6th, '08, 12:44

If you ask me, look at those many enthusiastic replies, you should be confident enough to believe that there is NOTHING WRONG to date man of another race. That said, you should be living happily and do not mind about those trivial remarks that people make. They are just a bunch of jealous people having what we call "doxa" which means a common belief with no resonable evidence. As an asian man, I really think that to be able to present you to his family, it's a great honor. In our culture, it's extremely difficult to get asian parents to approve a multi-cultural relationship because they are very conservative. Hence, being with you means your partner already fight for your sake and he really really cherish you a lot ! If I were you, I would be concentrating 100% on love right now beccause love is the sweetest thing that ever happens in one's life. Happiness is what we strike for and it never comes easy so I wish you will find the answer for all your bewilderment so far...I simply wish you happy !

aNToK · Post by **aNToK** » Sep 8th, '08, 17:08

Heh, saw this topic a while back and meant to post but forgot.

My lovely lady and I met 13 years ago next month a few weeks after she immigrated to SF from China. My proudly Irish family never had any issues whatsoever that my lady was Asian. As my Mom put it after meeting her for the first time, "You're very lucky to have found someone so beautiful inside and out. Don't screw it up!!"

Her parents were a bit more reserved about it, but came to America to visit their daughter and new grandson planning to stay a month and go back to China if things were uncomfortable. Their biggest concern was that their daughter was happy and healthy. Well, Dad ended up staying for about 2 years before going back to China to take care of my sister-in-law's family, and Mom's a permanent resident here and lives with us. We've had maybe one disagreement in the years she's been here and that was about something sooo important that we've both forgotten what it was.

As far as interracial babies, etc. I'll just quote what my son (who was 7 or 8 at the time I believe) said to another kid who called him a "little Chinese banana boy." He just looked the kid in the eye and said, "I've got two cultures and you've got only one. I win!!!"

Kid's definitely got no problems with his heritage(s). Wonder who he gets that from....

mangoboiz · Post by **mangoboiz** » Sep 8th, '08, 18:28

aNToK wrote:
Kid's definitely got no problems with his heritage(s). Wonder who he gets that from....

He got it from his genes, don't you think so ? Lol, you must definitely be proud ! I would be if I have such a great kid !

SmilezeZ · Post by **SmilezeZ** » Sep 8th, '08, 19:49

My personal opinion is that it is not wrong. However I am extremely biased. I'm Nigerian and my boyfriend is Chinese. So I have an idea of what you're talking about. I remember the stares from strangers and the comments from relatives and friends. It can be very difficult. But I also understand the other point of view. People, especially parents, worry about how well the culture can be passed down to the future generations, especially when you are no longer living in the country of the culture's origin. But when you have two people passing down two different cultures, people become even more afraid. So it's not wrong, but it is a challenge to some of the people you will meet and an even greater challenge to your relationship.

auroragb · Post by **auroragb** » Sep 8th, '08, 20:41

I don't think it's "wrong" at all! All my ABC cousins have married non-Chinese people (3 of the 8, only 1 of 8 dates Chinese exclusively). I'm TW-born, due to how I grew up (watching too many Asian dramas), I'm more interested in ethnically CJK women. My ABC cousins grew up watching American TV, so their eye for beauty tends more western.

As for the people being banana. To be frank, I've used the term myself. I usually use that on people who don't recognize that they have Asian ancestry (sounds weird, but sadly, they exist). I think who you date and love is highly influenced by where/how you're raised, as that forms your sense of aesthetics.

biniBningPunkista · Post by **biniBningPunkista** » Sep 9th, '08, 22:08

when it comes to love nothing is right or wrong these days.
so your question would have to fall on the category that "It's not wrong"
the prejudice because of your skin color just come's from thick minded people who can't mind their own business. its hard not minding this kind of people, but if he truly loves you then he wouldn't really care about this no matter what other people say about you or your skin color.

jotdess · Post by **jotdess** » Sep 16th, '08, 07:32

There's nothing wrong with it at all. People who think that there is, need to stop being so ignorant. As long as two people love or care for each other, that's all that matters. Everyone else can mind their own business.

bluespring · Post by **bluespring** » Oct 7th, '08, 15:35

monkey business

br4nd0n · Post by **br4nd0n** » Oct 16th, '08, 22:51

nothing wrong with it
never heard of it being wrong

Maybe that person was referring to you looking "hot" compared to your partner?

Even if it's that

nothing wrong with it
never heard of it being wrong

Doxsavior · Post by **Doxsavior** » Oct 16th, '08, 23:05

Will you stay with him or not?

astermorning · Post by **astermorning** » Oct 16th, '08, 23:17

My mom is Chinese, and my dad is Caucasian, and because of that I don't think there's anything wrong with it. All of my cousins are also half and half as well, and my mom had 3 brothers, so they were all Asian men dating white women.

As aimlesswanderer said on the first page, it is true that my grandparents wanted their children to marry other Chinese, but they never rejected my dad or any of my aunts. I think the response to the relationship really varies from family to family - one of my math teachers was raised in Britain by immigrants from India. She married a white man, and her parents wouldn't even acknowledge their relationship for years. But even they have softened up a bit recently (probably due in some capacity to the fact that she now has a child).

Unfortunately, cultural and racial divisions still exist in the world, and I think that some prejudice is inevitable. But I certainly do not think there is anything wrong with interracial relationships.

Referring back to aNToK, like that child I am also proud of being half and half. However, there are also drawbacks, since on a lot of forms they tell you to choose one bubble for your racial background, which is impossible when you have two evenly divided ones. But the forms are getting better and I think hopefully with time people will become even more open to the idea.

I'm sorry I don't really have anything new to say and that I don't really have any advice for helping you to understand his feelings. This is a complicated issue and I'm glad to see that most people seem to agree with me that there's nothing wrong with it. I'm also glad to see that you are strong and able to stand up to other people because the important thing is that you are happy. Best of luck!

artalicous · Post by **artalicous** » Oct 17th, '08, 01:20

The truth is that: The most widely used human racial categories are based on visible traits (especially skin color, cranial or facial features and hair texture), and self-identification. Also each of us has an background of customs , history and culture that identifies our nationality (and i agree some of them we have to be accept and be proud about been a part of that. But on the other hand no one has the right involving the idea that one's own race is superior or Judge it...but most of us follow certain conventional rules (social construct). (All the above is based on the idea of real world).

But our world is Imaginal world (based on maths), so if in the reall world a square root can not be nagative but in the Imaginal it can with complex numbers (established by the real axis and the orthogonal imaginary axis)...so we can respect all the above ... we can unterstand the social constructs ... but this is only a part of the "real axis", the other part of the "real axis" is that all human are equal...SO AS AN "EQUAL" TO "EQUAL" AND "HUMAN" TO "HUMAN" , WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO DATE, LOVE ETC ANYONE (IF HE/SHE WANDS ONLY THEN

) ...

As for the "imaginary axis" part love oversees all the above ... and overcomes them ...(because even a square root can be nagative) ... so all the other proplems are reachable and have answers...

Eventually if we can find someone to love and been love truly, is rare in this fake world, so apriciate the time you can have with the one you love and enjoy it because we have only a life and it passes quick...
So at the end there is nothing wrong with you choice...

Post by **techie** » Oct 17th, '08, 01:34

As I have always said, and will keep saying...

techie wrote:"If people cant be Human first, they have no business trying to say one thing or another is better based on racial slurs."

secondly

astermorning wrote: Referring back to aNToK, like that child I am also proud of being half and half. However, there are also drawbacks, since on a lot of forms they tell you to choose one bubble for your racial background, which is impossible when you have two evenly divided ones. But the forms are getting better and I think hopefully with time people will become even more open to the idea.!

There shouldn't be any form fields like that at all to begin with in my personal oppinion!!!

XrayZ · Post by **XrayZ** » Oct 17th, '08, 02:21

The only problem with all this is that if there's too much genetic mixing then the evil white race will never die out... and we all know the planet will be a nicer place when all the devils are gone!

XrayZ · Post by **XrayZ** » Oct 17th, '08, 02:24

BTW, that was joke!

I'm of uncertain ethnic origin personally (adopted at birth, probably mostly white-ish), so referring to what astermorning said, check the box that says OTHER!

After all, we're all "other" to someone.

auto137315 · Post by **auto137315** » Oct 17th, '08, 02:30

Just why do you care what people say about you two? If you found each other and think it's deep then screw everybody else... There're always gonna be people who're going to mind your business, but it's usually because they don't have life on their own so they have plenty of time to live yours.

I wish you two best of luck!!!

astermorning · Post by **astermorning** » Oct 17th, '08, 03:36

techie wrote:There shouldn't be any form fields like that at all to begin with in my personal oppinion!!!

That's a very good point - I agree with you. I guess to clarify I meant the forms were getting "better" in the sense that now more of them are letting you "check all that apply" or have a "multiracial" box. But yes, I also agree that they shouldn't even be on the forms in the first place - it reinforces racial differences.

XrayZ wrote:I'm of uncertain ethnic origin personally (adopted at birth, probably mostly white-ish), so referring to what astermorning said, check the box that says OTHER!

After all, we're all "other" to someone.

Another good point...I hadn't even considered that. Maybe I'll use that on the next form I come across!

mysticwater · Post by **mysticwater** » Oct 17th, '08, 04:34

im also dating an asian man, and im white. so though i see nothing wrong with it for obvious reasons, i understand where you stand in asking your question. be happy you get along with his parents. my boyfriend's parents want him to marry another asian girl, not me. as it is 70% of his family are against me dating him because im white and i cant speak their language (though im trying to learn)

helsorcer · Post by **helsorcer** » Oct 17th, '08, 05:09

nope i dont think theres anything wrong with that... see that alot in singapore haha..

aimlesswanderer · Post by **aimlesswanderer** » Oct 20th, '08, 09:36

mysticwater wrote:im also dating an asian man, and im white. so though i see nothing wrong with it for obvious reasons, i understand where you stand in asking your question. be happy you get along with his parents. my boyfriend's parents want him to marry another asian girl, not me. as it is 70% of his family are against me dating him because im white and i cant speak their language (though im trying to learn)

Yeah, the relos (often bus loads of them) can be a problem, especially the parents in law. Some Asian parents in law have a bit of a reputation for being a pain, which can make things difficult. Partly a cultural thing, partly prejudiced against anyone not of their ethnic background, eg - "why don't you go out with a nice Chinese girl instead". Thankfully, those views are generally less prevalent among the younger, more progressive generations, so hopefully it will gradually melt away with time..... all the best. Thankfully my family is nowhere near that bad.

bluespring · Post by **bluespring** » Oct 23rd, '08, 19:40

mysticwater wrote:im also dating an asian man, and im white. so though i see nothing wrong with it for obvious reasons, i understand where you stand in asking your question. be happy you get along with his parents. my boyfriend's parents want him to marry another asian girl, not me. as it is 70% of his family are against me dating him because im white and i cant speak their language (though im trying to learn)

make good chicken and brocolli please

AboutDrama · Post by **AboutDrama** » Oct 28th, '08, 19:23

Marissa Wrote:

As part of the background for my question, please permit me to introduce myself. I am a Caucasian woman from a small town, who as a product of her location always dated Caucasian males. Later in life, I moved to a city, and for quite a while now I have been dating the most wonderful Asian man. I never thought twice about the differences in our races until recently when another Asian referred to him as a banana for being with me. This struck me as incredibly odd considering that we eat all the time at a restaurant that his parents, who immigrated here, call "authentic," he has taught me some of his language, which we use at home, and a lot of our every day items are from his culture. Yet, it seems that, by virtue of being with me, he is thought of as less. My question to everybody out there is simply: In your eyes, is it wrong for an Asian man to date a "White" woman?

The answer is no. There is nothing wrong. The Asian who branded your bf for being banana is just jealous and definitely not a good friend to your bf (if he/she is his friend). The Asian doesn't like it just because he (I assume a He??) has not guts to date 'White' woman. BTW, do you know that there are Asian guys (who are 'conservative') will call the Asian gals a 'Wh*re' if they date a 'White' guy? So, can you say that it's wrong for an Asian woman to date a 'White' guy?
It's just they perspective and being inflexible. Just ignore them and don't let them affect your relationship.

indogurlzZ · Post by **indogurlzZ** » Oct 28th, '08, 19:31

no way!
why not?

little_jen · Post by **little_jen** » Nov 4th, '08, 10:31

It's just fine being a white girl dating an asian man. As long as you love each other and your prove of him and his prove of having you.

milochel · Post by **milochel** » Nov 5th, '08, 07:23

Haha guess what ?

I'm Chinese and both my brothers are happily married and staying in the US.

And both of my sister-in-laws are wonderful white American girls!

dabogy · Post by **dabogy** » Jul 15th, '09, 02:25

WHEN IT COMES TO RELATIONSHIPS RACE IS NOT AN ISSUE AS LONG AS YOU UNDERSTAND AND LOVE EACH OTHER.

area51manah · Post by **area51manah** » Aug 7th, '09, 21:51

whatever man !!!!
never bother me ?/
depend upon / whether you ve something sparky with him/her

meh i do dont care about "color"

though this is strickly my opinion

Ladymercury · Post by **Ladymercury** » Aug 7th, '09, 22:05

Being biracial, topics like this just baffle me. I mean, Why is it even a question?

We are humans. We have the ability to date who we want to date. Marry who we want to marry. Have children with who want.

There should be no question. Its about you, not society. x_x

area51manah · Post by **area51manah** » Aug 8th, '09, 08:33

Ladymercury wrote:Being biracial, topics like this just baffle me. I mean, Why is it even a question?

We are humans. We have the ability to date who we want to date. Marry who we want to marry. Have children with who want.

There should be no question. Its about you, not society. x_x

100% with you

aNToK · Post by **aNToK** » Aug 8th, '09, 09:17

Funny, one of my best friends growing up is white (along with his mom, obviously) and nobody, including his mom is under 6 feet tall. His stepfather is Chinese and is a bit under my own 5'9". They have that kind of Mutt and Jeff look, but they couldn't give a crap and neither does anyone else who knows them.

I get a kick out of seeing my 6'4" buddy trying to hug his 4'9" grandma. It's cute....

huycha04 · Post by **huycha04** » Nov 29th, '09, 06:52

its never wrong.
love is love.

white women are very very hot.

depends on your type and what clothes they wear

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