How do girls want to be treated by guys?

tisa · Post by **tisa** » Aug 6th, '06, 02:37

keiko001 wrote:so how do i wanna be treaten by a guy!? huhm...flowers everyday, dunno how it´s called in english..carrying on arms? So, u know what I mean, yeah!
He should respect me
loving me
holding me
kissing me
I have to be the only one 4 him in this world..

I agree. There is really not much more to add. We are simple but giving something in return is also a must.

mienhmario · Post by **mienhmario** » Aug 6th, '06, 02:55

Wow. This is alot of wants for just one person. I dont know if i can handle a GF. I think ill faint before i notice it. It is like Santa Claus and his Wish list. They just keep on going and going just like an energizer battery. I must admit girls ask for way too much. I think for the guys they only want honesty and sense of humor. Well, thats only me.

BEWARE OF GF BECAUSE THEY WILL BRING THEIR WISH LIST! :alcoholic:

guccijana · Post by **guccijana** » Aug 6th, '06, 04:48

mienhmario wrote:Wow. This is alot of wants for just one person. I dont know if i can handle a GF. I think ill faint before i notice it. It is like Santa Claus and his Wish list. They just keep on going and going just like an energizer battery. I must admit girls ask for way too much. I think for the guys they only want honesty and sense of humor. Well, thats only me.

BEWARE OF GF BECAUSE THEY WILL BRING THEIR WISH LIST!

hehehe ur hiiiiiiiiilarious

i think its not like that with the wish list when u exually like that person, you wount even notice the so called wishlist b/c its going to be mutual.

tekistar · Post by **tekistar** » Aug 10th, '06, 23:59

Meh, for me, I'd just want a guy who I can hang out with. Y'know, have decent conversations and stuff. The girls that expect this JDrama guy to just pop into their lives is dreaming; that happens like once in a blue moon. ;) Happened to my friend, but she's a special case. But I do have to agree with the other girls here... Hugs from behind are possibly the awesomest thing ever. My guy friend gave me one when I was making soup and I pretty much turned into a puddle. ^^;;; It's like the best-kept secret.

docipain · Post by **docipain** » Aug 11th, '06, 04:17

hmm i don't care as long they are nice. i mean i want to treat same like i am treated from girls. o_o
dunno why there should be a difference between the genders.

lilpig · Post by **lilpig** » Aug 11th, '06, 04:30

to be treated like a princess of course.

sooji · Post by **sooji** » Aug 11th, '06, 05:17

lilpig wrote:to be treated like a princess of course.

I second that

hehehe

You want someone who can be your bestfriend AS WELL AS your boyfriend.

Yukino Miyazawa · Post by **Yukino Miyazawa** » Aug 13th, '06, 10:15

I like how a lot of people answered what they want in a guy instead of how they want to be treated by a guy.

I assum that when we're talking about being treated by a guy meaning a spouse or boyfriend.

But in all honesty, I would like to be treated with respect. That's the most important thing to me. Don't treat me like a child or like I'm dumb. Don't patronize me. I hate it when guys do that, and it's just to piss you off. I don't like mind games so don't play them. Be simple. Guys always say how they hate that girls don't tell them out-right how they feel about something or someone, and it's pretty much the same for women. We're not mind-readers either.

Also, I would like them to treat me as someone that they don't have to hide things from. Tell me all of who you are and what you feel about situations or people or events in your life. Go in with the mind-set that we're all humans, and we all make mistakes. But that doesn't mean put me on a pedestal. I mean, I like to be treated nice, but don't get obsessed or clingy. Boy! That's a turn-off. And give me my space. You have your night with the boys, and I'll have my night with my friends. Just as long as the guy isn't cheating, and we have all that was established before (communication, respect), we should be fine.

That's my opinion anyway on the matter. I might seem kinda like a ****, but I know what I want through process of observation of other people and what guys try to do with me. Homie don't play that.

AngelicLayer · Post by **AngelicLayer** » Aug 13th, '06, 11:16

Lim_Chori !
You´re my man!!!!!!!!

rrx · Post by **rrx** » Aug 14th, '06, 09:23

Don't kill me for saying this, ladies... but I don't think women really know what they want in a guy. I think most women end up relying more on their emotions/female intuition rather than their best judgment. This is why I think some women allow themselves to stay in abusive relationships with men. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's a selective process that somehow works despite all the chaos. Survival of the fittest. At the same time, women tend to love attention - esp. from the opposite sex. Some women unknowingly string men along for the attention without ever wanting anything more. Sounds cold, I know, but just trying to be rational.

So in general, I think trying to figure out what women want in men is really hopeless. Either the attraction is there or it is not. If it is not, then it's best to move on and not linger. Obviously the whole process should be humane. Treating a woman like crap is not cool... but knowing and being honest with yourself about how a woman feels about you will get you pretty far.

Ashes-Wishes · Post by **Ashes-Wishes** » Aug 14th, '06, 17:03

"hugs from BEHIND!!! " <---- Yammee.

Butbut. How I want to be treated by guys normally... With respect.

How I want to be treated by a boyfriend; like s**t.
I don't want any kind of fluffy and all happy relationship. I want my boyfriend to have sharp tongue so that he can tease, almost bully me.
Of course, I want him to be loyal (no cheating). Just not nice to me. And okay, maybe no physically harming either (maybe some light slapping anywhere else than face), but he can say whatever he wants to me and challenge as much as he wants. And of course, not some crappy flowers, dinners in candle light and horrible romantic surprises. I'll puke.
Those hugs from behind sounds nice too. Maybe it would be the only "normal" thing in my relationship...

And of course, he has to expect same treatment from me.

Nothing is as pretty as love/hate -relationships. That's why I'll never get a man for myself. There aren't men like that for me in this earth. *cries.*

shadyskater2 · Post by **shadyskater2** » Aug 14th, '06, 17:12

truth is girls like jerks and arent attracted to super nice guys : ) imma nice guy

Tomi · Post by **Tomi** » Aug 14th, '06, 17:40

I like to be treated like I'm their best friend. Like the guy and me could goof around and talk about anything. Also with respect and love.

brown_eyes · Post by **brown_eyes** » Aug 14th, '06, 17:50

lol this is such an easy question to answer! girls want to be treated as positively as you guys do! and aside from maybe sports and drinking beers (although not speaking for all girls hehe), we are hoping for the same kind of love and affection as the next wonderful man !

allredndizzy · Post by **allredndizzy** » Aug 14th, '06, 18:07

like they couldn't live without me haha!

chamcham · Post by **chamcham** » Aug 14th, '06, 18:08

http://www.askmen.com/dating/index.html

This is the best site for answering this type of question.
I never understood girls until I read the numerous articles
on this site. Now women are much easier to deal with.

Oddly enough, one of the things you will learn is often
women don't know what they really want even if they try.
So asking a question like yours is sometimes not very useful.

There are many cases where if you act like the ideal man women
tell you about, you will get reject by them outright.

Yeah, I know it doesn't make sense, but women don't make sense either.
If you want to attract women, you have to appeal to them on an unconscious
emotional level that arouses their curiosity.

Of I know, none of this may make sense. But if you read enough articles,
you'll start to get an idea of how women work. Afterwards, go out and
test your theories. Then come back and read more stuff. You'll find that
you'll learn a lot that way.

Oh, and don't worry so much about buying "The System". Reading a bunch of
articles should be enough.

kotaeshiranaihito · Post by **kotaeshiranaihito** » Aug 14th, '06, 19:10

chamcham wrote:http://www.askmen.com/dating/index.html

This is the best site for answering this type of question.
I never understood girls until I read the numerous articles
on this site. Now women are much easier to deal with.

Oddly enough, one of the things you will learn is often
women don't know what they really want even if they try.
So asking a question like yours is sometimes not very useful.

There are many cases where if you act like the ideal man women
tell you about, you will get reject by them outright.

Yeah, I know it doesn't make sense, but women don't make sense either.
If you want to attract women, you have to appeal to them on an unconscious
emotional level that arouses their curiosity.

Of I know, none of this may make sense. But if you read enough articles,
you'll start to get an idea of how women work. Afterwards, go out and
test your theories. Then come back and read more stuff. You'll find that
you'll learn a lot that way.

Oh, and don't worry so much about buying "The System". Reading a bunch of
articles should be enough.

1) honestly don't waste your time. These guys will never get it. It's like trying to teach a dog to speak spanish, it's just not going to happen. Don't waste your time typing. Just go out and be the guy who gets the girls, while these guys still come here asking teenagers for advice.

2) I read one article there-the one where the guy met some girl in a bar, talked to her for 30 minutes and then she dissed him by jumping to the next guy she saw, and he asked what he did wrong. The "love doc" said a bunch of things he did wrong blah blah blah. But I think that love doc missed out on the dumbest thing he did. "Actually think he could meet a cool girl at a bar".

I think Iearned this like in my junior year at college, but unless you fit a certain description (tall, good looking, stylish, and have money to burn) trying to find a girl at a bar is nothing more than a waste of time, money, energy and brain cells (and if you're grown up and still don't know this, you need as many as you can get). If this date doc is still trying to teach guys how to meet women in bars, then he's obviously not a very good one.

prismatic_star · Post by **prismatic_star** » Aug 14th, '06, 19:20

#o1. Every girl is different.

Girls are human beings you know. Same like you. We aren't aliens. We don't want to be treated any lesser.
Respect is nice. As they say, treat others like how you would want to be treated. Acting like an imbecile/arrogant bastard will resort in us females to despise you, along with your male friends.

If you want girls to like you, I guess charm plays a major part.

Ardatliilii · Post by **Ardatliilii** » Aug 14th, '06, 19:25

Erliana2 wrote:and I'm a girl too. I always llike someone with a sense of humor.... But I guess every girl is different. I mean I could never fall for one of those "cold" guys in the dramas. I just don't understand how "cold" translates to "cool"

<3 I love 'em cold. Cold and mean. : P

No but seriously, I think all the dramas, anime, and manga have warped my view. Nonfiction boys just don't cut it. : )

kotaeshiranaihito · Post by **kotaeshiranaihito** » Aug 14th, '06, 19:26

prismatic_star wrote:#o1. Every girl is different.

Girls are human beings you know. Same like you. We aren't aliens. We don't want to be treated any lesser.
Respect is nice. As they say, treat others like how you would want to be treated. Acting like an imbecile/arrogant bastard will resort in us females to despise you, along with your male friends.

If you want girls to like you, I guess charm plays a major part.

And you would know this how? Dating a girl =/= being a girl (hint:One of them is like 10000000 easier than the other).

dimpleboy · Post by **dimpleboy** » Aug 14th, '06, 19:32

lavender880327 wrote:hey guyz...
did u ever notice that the hyper active gurl always end up with a quiet guy
n the quiet gurl end up with the hyper active guy....

always vice versa.....

i agree with you, because it can never be the same... the relationship would be too boring, they would cancel each other out.. like a quiet person with another quiet person... uhhh whats there to talk about? lol

aya_fan · Post by **aya_fan** » Aug 17th, '06, 03:56

i think most girls wants guys who stands up and being honest to them. If a guy can't be honest and loyal, it ends up with nothing else to treat a girl nicely

naviro · Post by **naviro** » Aug 17th, '06, 05:40

You girls say that you want to be treated with respect, kindness, etc etc. that you want a guy who's smart, funny, caring, loyal, and all that good stuff. I'm very much like that but in my experience girls never really see guys like me as more than a friend if even that. I just don't understand why girls never realize the person that they always wanted was right in front of them. It's makes me mad when I see them going go with guys that are jerks and get treated like garbage. Why is it that I never even get a chance and others, who don't deserve her, end up dating her.

kotaeshiranaihito · Post by **kotaeshiranaihito** » Aug 17th, '06, 16:11

naviro wrote:You girls say that you want to be treated with respect, kindness, etc etc. that you want a guy who's smart, funny, caring, loyal, and all that good stuff. I'm very much like that but in my experience girls never really see guys like me as more than a friend if even that. I just don't understand why girls never realize the person that they always wanted was right in front of them. It's makes me mad when I see them going go with guys that are jerks and get treated like garbage. Why is it that I never even get a chance and others, who don't deserve her, end up dating her.

You're wasting your time asking girls these questions. They'll give you the standard dumb answers you can find anywhere on the internet. Just do a google search "why women stay in abusive relationships". You'll see answers like "I love him", "fear", "I can change him" and other excuses for stupidity.

Don't take it too personally, the reason females are like this is because these things are what their DNA craves. They don't know that they want these things, that's why they give crap answers like the ones you see here, and make excuses for stupid decisions. Imagine it this way, if I hypnotized a guy and told him to kill the first person he sees when he hears a bell, and that person turns out to be your father, is it his fault? No, I'm the one who's truly responsible. The same thing with females, they're not responsible for their poor choices, they're controlled by their DNA (guys are the same way BTW, just our DNA wants different things, like an old friend of mine who dated a girl for seven miserable years, asked her to marry him and found out she was cheating on him. He suffered all 7 years from her bitchiness, but always made excuses for her actions, and only now does he realize what an idiot he was for wasting his time with her). If you really want someone to blame, blame their ancestors for the many many years of mutations and passing of genetics, but I personally don't think blaming a bunch of dead people will get you anywhere.

I could give you a small summary of what women really want (tried out in real life and it worked), but the best way to learn is to either take some social pychology or sociology classes, and try to find a non-biased professor.

itssmojojojo · Post by **itssmojojojo** » Aug 22nd, '06, 13:42

you know, not all girls are like that. it depends on the situation.
iv read stories on how girls who grew up with abusive fathers eventually find a bf who is abusive as well. do you think they didnt want a nice loyal caring bf after all they've been through? its a psychological thing. they don't realize it until it's too late.

most "nice loyal caring" guys become friends because girls feel they can trust them! you say you're nice loyal and caring and if you asked her, she would tell you thats what makes you a great FRIEND. if there arent feelings there, thats what you'll remain ! sometimes this changes though. there are many cases where friends become lovers but that doesnt happen to everyone.
its not their fault if they dont have feelings. it would suck to be in a one-sided relationship.

like an old friend of mine who dated a girl for seven miserable years, asked her to marry him and found out she was cheating on him. He suffered all 7 years from her bitchiness, but always made excuses for her actions, and only now does he realize what an idiot he was for wasting his time with her

it just sounds like he was in love. things happen. it's not wasting time! you learn from mistakes. at least he can find a better person now.

not all things are perfect as most DRAMAS end up.

They don't know that they want these things, that's why they give crap answers like the ones you see here, and make excuses for stupid decisions.

d-addicts=dramas=fairytales="crap answers"

eye · Post by **eye** » Aug 22nd, '06, 14:17

"How do girls want to be treated by guys?"

Why would a guy ask this question?

juxvi3t · Post by **juxvi3t** » Aug 29th, '06, 00:20

Erliana2 wrote:and I'm a girl too. I always llike someone with a sense of humor.... But I guess every girl is different. I mean I could never fall for one of those "cold" guys in the dramas. I just don't understand how "cold" translates to "cool"

I love the "cold" guys. I hate the clingy

Personally, I like a relationship where I get a ton of space.

krrrrystle · Post by **krrrrystle** » Sep 7th, '06, 00:24

miss_illusive wrote:
whisperss_57 wrote:
hugging a girl from behind is their weakest point ...^^ [[well it's mine ]]
I LOVE HUGS from behind =)
yea it like makes ya MELT ;]]

indeed it does (:

i wish i had someone do that to me; but yeah xD

nedayaj · Post by **nedayaj** » Sep 20th, '06, 23:35

Yea i agree, hugs behind are good.

OH yea, Girls love to get letters that come in the mail. Girls love sweet words that come from your heart. Girls love it when u surprise. Girls loves it when you surprisely kiss the cheek without warning. girls love alot. Say things from your heart, and it will touch her heart. Tell the girl you will always protect her from harm, or when someone does something bad to her, stand up for her. That way she feels very comfortable, and loved by you. Just don't OVER PROTECT by not letting her do much. Just tell the girls you'll be there for her and you must be there too... If the girl cry, go to her asap and wipe her tears and hug her and tell her everything will be okay!!

You will then eventually win her heart forever.

If my man did that, i would soooo love him forever!!

ocha otoko · Post by **ocha otoko** » Oct 1st, '06, 03:43

...ahem... now now...generalising is just stupid here, even if the question is inviting it... but after reading all of that...ive gotten a few things from it... 1. hugs from behind are a yes ....and... there are a lot of people here who love to generalise and say "all guys are this..." or "all women are like that..."...

now im just another unknown in this forum but here's my 2cents... everything really just depends on the context that you're asking. but you know the basic of it all is to just be yourself and treat everyone with equality...that way you can avoid many nasty surprises and it's fair to everyone and anyone...

but if you're trying to win over a girl, then well you will need to put effort into how to make her...quite simply...happy :]...and from what the girls on this forum have been saying there's plenty of stuff that you can do...plenty.

meotsuburu · Post by **meotsuburu** » Oct 6th, '06, 00:37

kotaeshiranaihito wrote:Imagine it this way, if I hypnotized a guy and told him to kill the first person he sees when he hears a bell, and that person turns out to be your father, is it his fault? No, I'm the one who's truly responsible.

Fault? So if someone was to murder his father it is not his fault, but the person who hypnotized him? We could extend it to the person who taught you hypnotism, the person that taught him, and so forth for 'true responsibility' or even the bell!! Blame is a game, the killer may be pardoned for lack of his faculties but your immediate influence will not be overlooked.

The rest of the post I also find false.

kotaeshiranaihito wrote:The same thing with females, they're not responsible for their poor choices, they're controlled by their DNA (guys are the same way BTW, just our DNA wants different things, like an old friend of mine who dated a girl for seven miserable years, asked her to marry him and found out she was cheating on him.

If one is not responsible for their own actions, who is? DNA? It is generally accepted that you do not fault inanimate objects, ie. he did not suicide, the pavement killed him when he leap off the building of his own accord. Our DNA does not have a mind or will to want anything.

People want things. People have cells. Cells have DNA. Just because people have DNA does not mean DNA wants things or, by that virture, the water in our blood wants other things as well. By the same degrees we seperate the above murderer from the hypnotist's teacher, we seperate the person from DNA. Extending the fault not on the responsible woman- but to her DNA sounds an awful lot like an convenient excuse.

kotaeshiranaihito wrote:He suffered all 7 years from her bitchiness, but always made excuses for her actions, and only now does he realize what an idiot he was for wasting his time with her). If you really want someone to blame, blame their ancestors for the many many years of mutations and passing of genetics, but I personally don't think blaming a bunch of dead people will get you anywhere.

Ancestor's probably do not know what DNA is.

kotaeshiranaihito wrote:I could give you a small summary of what women really want (tried out in real life and it worked), but the best way to learn is to either take some social pychology or sociology classes, and try to find a non-biased professor.

Social pyschology or sociology classes do not help DNA like you any better. Maybe pheromones.

ocha otoko · Post by **ocha otoko** » Oct 7th, '06, 22:35

LMFAO!! ...i was seriously waiting for that... but yeah im sorry DNA-man...you got owned. meotsuburu...wow there's nothing known about you...how mysterious...

kuvli · Post by **kuvli** » Apr 1st, '07, 07:23

wtf.....of course...girls wanted to be treated as girls....*i'm a girl too* anywys....girls are more sensitive towards words and it can easily hurt a girl....no abusive actions...NO NO NO.....from my perspective....i think a girl don't like to be treated with corny words....well...from me...i honestly can't stand anyone who sweet talk...so treat a girl good without not being yourself BOY....just talk normal.......

katez14 · Post by **katez14** » Apr 6th, '07, 15:24

for me..

respect..
be gentleman..
but don't try too hard..

pubbie · Post by **pubbie** » May 21st, '07, 18:37

Q: How do girls want to be treated by guys?
A: Like the sluts they are

Pekana · Post by **Pekana** » May 21st, '07, 23:49

pubbie wrote:Q: How do girls want to be treated by guys?
A: Like the sluts they are

Aww, a Swedish troll. Always wondered if they existed and now I know.

The Artist · Post by **The Artist** » May 22nd, '07, 00:08

Girls want to be treated nicely by guys, Girls want to be treated cold and bad by guys. Its just jthat you have to be a little nice and little bad to them. Yeah I know, these people don't know what the hell they want. Therefore you have to see how they respond to certain treatments. If you get good response after you treat them good, be good to them, the same goes when you treat them bad, if you get good feedback from being bad to them, be as bad as you wanna be she will not have a problem. yep women are a complicated creature. As a man the rule of thumbs is to go with the flow when it comes to women.

ruisu · Post by **ruisu** » May 22nd, '07, 01:20

well...as long as you foot the bill and assure them that the thousands of dollars spent on eating out is not making her fat she'll be happy. and that is how girls like to be treated (to dinner)!

the truth is though, girls are a lot more like guys than we give them credit for. people talk about badboys and whatnot, but it takes two. girls are just dudes who are more (openly) sensitive and often more mature. but we all still have the same desires, urges, emotions...

i think you should just learn about the person your interested in...and figure out what makes them happy. you probably won't learn anything here. this thread is mostly teenagers who watch doramas (no offense ladies)!

TLC5566 · Post by **TLC5566** » Jul 13th, '07, 01:58

caring, understanding , bring them out to movie and dinner.....

TLC5566 · Post by **TLC5566** » Jul 13th, '07, 01:59

caring, understanding , bring them out to movie and dinner.....

mongbat · Post by **mongbat** » Jul 13th, '07, 15:15

this is my 1st time posting here, just snooping around, found this interesting thread.
and i totally disagree with the nice guy thing.

nice guys really do finish last, everyone will just treat such people like buddies and not want to get into a relationship with them.

even if you're outgoing, humourous, family minded, or throw in any "nice" quality in here, people will just go for the so-called bad boy - possesive, abusive, angry, guy.

it has been hypothesized that it's about intimacy, commitment and passion. well it's not as lewd as it seems, but i don't think we need to go into the mechanics of love.

it all boils down to a little bit of chemistry and lots of superficial appearences, even if anyone says he/she doesn't go for looks, you won't even be sufficiently attracted to a person enough to engage in even a conversation for some people. then the chemistry part is the really troubling issue here.. how many people on this forum actually got rejected cuz' of a "lack of chemistry?"

Noale · Post by **Noale** » Jul 14th, '07, 18:25

nice guys really do finish last, everyone will just treat such people like buddies and not want to get into a relationship with them.

I don't really agree with you there. I'm sure a lot of girls fall for bad guys, because it's more exciting and it gives them some sort of rush. But such relationships are usually doomed to fail. The passion and excitement doesn't last and then all that's left is the guy's horrible personality. Also, most of us don't like to be treated badly - at least I don't - and such bad guys tend to treat their girlfriends like dirt.

Nah, what I want is a caring guy. Someone I feel comfortable and safe with. He doesn't have to be uberfriendly and good all the time though, because that would be annoying, as long as he does have a soft spot in his heart and is good to me.

Sounds totally cheezy

mongbat · Post by **mongbat** » Jul 15th, '07, 17:18

so you do agree with me to an extent huh..
still, i don't get what you mean by him being caring yet just having a soft spot and not being good all the time.
it's like asking the guy to be able to ignore you and yet be nice on demand.

it seems easier to build a TV.

Noale · Post by **Noale** » Jul 15th, '07, 17:50

What I mean is that he doesn't have to be perfectly friendly and well mannered in front of people all the time. It's okay to have mood swings and be grumpy at times, because that's only natural. I'm not saying he should be nice on demand, but he shouldn't "always" be nice either, because that just comes across fake. Be natural. Be yourself. ^^ But when 'being yourself' means that you're always perfectly nice, then that's just the way it is, and you'll have to find someone who does appreciate something like that.

You underestimate the art of TV building

Silent_reflections · Post by **Silent_reflections** » Jul 15th, '07, 23:37

aniwaiz, I do agree on the melting of the hug from behind! I also like guys who treat me well and not just a show off. Actually a guy who knows what he's doing!

gglibertine · Post by **gglibertine** » Jul 16th, '07, 00:02

Assuming we're talking about how I want a *boyfriend* to treat me... I want him to treat me like I'm his best friend. I prefer a relationship that's an equal partnership, based on mutual respect and the knowledge that we can depend on each other. If we're not 'together' yet, I want him to show me he's interested by inviting me to do things, including me in his life, that kind of thing.

Otherwise -- just be yourself. I want to get to know *you*, not the person you think I want you to be. Pay attention to the way I react for clues -- everyone is different. There's no one way all people of either sex want to be treated.

deshou · Post by **deshou** » Jul 16th, '07, 02:19

mongbat wrote:nice guys really do finish last, everyone will just treat such people like buddies and not want to get into a relationship with them.

even if you're outgoing, humourous, family minded, or throw in any "nice" quality in here, people will just go for the so-called bad boy - possesive, abusive, angry, guy.

Arent these two opposite types of guys, in one hand the one totally nice and caring that gets stepped by everyone and doesnt even seem to realize or care, and in the other hand the abusive and totally rude one with an unhappy childhood?

Never in my perfect mind would I pick any of those deliberately...

gglibertine wrote:Assuming we're talking about how I want a *boyfriend* to treat me... I want him to treat me like I'm his best friend. I prefer a relationship that's an equal partnership, based on mutual respect and the knowledge that we can depend on each other. If we're not 'together' yet, I want him to show me he's interested by inviting me to do things, including me in his life, that kind of thing.

Now that is an important point, there is big difference between a boyfriend and a guy, even if a friend! Of course a boyfriend should care for and respect his girl, and vice-versa, otherwise something is wrong. Huggings from behind (and in general) are nice and all that, but dont do it unless there is a level of understanding and intimacy. Personally, I hate when guys Im not that close with (recent friends, acquaintances..) do that, even if gorgeous guys, its taking me for granted, its showing off, its annoying.. its abusive.... And I dont mean to overreact...

A person should have a main goal and interests in life other than dating, that would make THEM not only more interesting but also happier. Respecting and being respected is always a must. A guy should treat a girl in a way that makes her care for him, that makes her miss him when he is not around...

.. in a healthy way...

gglibertine · Post by **gglibertine** » Jul 16th, '07, 04:00

deshou wrote:
mongbat wrote:nice guys really do finish last, everyone will just treat such people like buddies and not want to get into a relationship with them.

even if you're outgoing, humourous, family minded, or throw in any "nice" quality in here, people will just go for the so-called bad boy - possesive, abusive, angry, guy.
Arent these two opposite types of guys, in one hand the one totally nice and caring that gets stepped by everyone and doesnt even seem to realize or care, and in the other hand the abusive and totally rude one with an unhappy childhood? Never in my perfect mind would I pick any of those deliberately...

One thing I've learned over the years is that a lot of the guys who complain that girls don't like nice guys are not actually very nice. Some of these guys, because they've had trouble getting girls to like them, are carrying around a grudge against women for not liking them. Hint: if you do nice things for other people to get them to like you, and then get mad when they don't like you for it, you're not as nice as you think you are.

Please don't associate abusive, rude behavior with unhappy childhoods, however -- sure, some people who have unhappy childhoods go on to pass that behavior on to everyone around them, but others decide they don't ever want to make anyone feel as bad as their family made them feel. And plenty of people who had perfectly fine childhoods still ended up becoming jerks along the way.

Li-Mei · Post by **Li-Mei** » Jul 16th, '07, 04:21

I don't have many expectations for guys or girls but there are some things;
- when she talks, please don't interrupt her, she'll give you a chance to respond. (depending on some girls)
- she will expect a greeting once in a while. even a small smile or a quick wave will do.
- no sexual jokes please.
- show her good manners.

I think everything else I had has already been mentioned. This is all towards just any girl, whether she's your friend, lover, sister, cousin, whatever.

If you meant boyfriend/girlfriend wise...then I can't really tell you. I try not to be too picky when choosing friends or whatever. Or...let's say I try not to have a list of things that I look for in a person. Just as long as they get along with me and are respectful towards me and my family then I'll find things in them that I like and if I find something that I really don't like about that person and that I can't tolerate then I'll say something.

deshou · Post by **deshou** » Jul 16th, '07, 05:03

gglibertine wrote:Please don't associate abusive, rude behavior with unhappy childhoods, however -- sure, some people who have unhappy childhoods go on to pass that behavior on to everyone around them, but others decide they don't ever want to make anyone feel as bad as their family made them feel. And plenty of people who had perfectly fine childhoods still ended up becoming jerks along the way.

Ok. Perhaps I saw it that way because the people I know that are like this (possessive, abusive, angry...) which are few, fortunately, are like this (or so I think) due to childhood traumas or problems, not just at home. Also perhaps because they didnt reach their dream in life, need to feel powerful or weird stuff like that. Still see them as unhappy people.
But anyway, I didnt mean to associate one with the other, so my bad.

Li-Mei wrote:- no sexual jokes please.

Lol, such a turn-off, isnt it?

And I agree with you on the rest as well

smaps · Post by **smaps** » Jul 16th, '07, 05:38

1. Don't ask her about her prior sexual experience or any other sexual sort of questions (at least until you're both very, very, VERY comfortable around each other, or even better, until you've actually been sexually intimate with each other). This seems weird, but god, I can't even COUNT the number of times I've seen a guy and a girl joking about sexual things and then the guy brings up something sexual personally about the girl and she just BACKS UP. I mean, the ladies will joke about it and laugh and be pervy with the best of them, too, but you get into that personal arena and most of the time you're just going to completely break any trust between you. It's just too sensitive (I think most girls are afraid/cautious of being judged based on whatever answer they give, i.e. being a virgin is horrible while being a whore is a turn-off).

2. Be a gentleman. Opening doors, ordering things at the restaurant sometimes, having her be seated first, etc. As someone else mentioned, many guys complain about girls not diggin the "nice guys", but honestly? Most of the girls they've had that "being the nice guy backfires" experience with were really superficial, immature girls. If your lady in mind is cheap and tawdry then she won't appreciate anything you do for her, period. For the other nice girls - the good ones - the simplest gentlemanly gesture will have her melting for days afterwards.

3. Be a good conversationalist. Confidence is incredibly attractive in a guy. If all else fails and you don't know what to say, ask her about herself. Trust me, we love talking about ourselves if you're willing to listen.

Beyond that, everything else is personal preference, I think. Personality plays a large role and people have their own individual attractions. Assuming she doesn't think you're a creep, simply being intimately interested in her may even be enough in her book.

mongbat · Post by **mongbat** » Jul 17th, '07, 08:44

deshou wrote:
mongbat wrote:nice guys really do finish last, everyone will just treat such people like buddies and not want to get into a relationship with them.

even if you're outgoing, humourous, family minded, or throw in any "nice" quality in here, people will just go for the so-called bad boy - possesive, abusive, angry, guy.
Arent these two opposite types of guys, in one hand the one totally nice and caring that gets stepped by everyone and doesnt even seem to realize or care, and in the other hand the abusive and totally rude one with an unhappy childhood? Never in my perfect mind would I pick any of those deliberately...

i'm not talking about totally nice and dim, not a bad thought in his mind kinda guy, just imagine your best male friend, wil you ever think of ending up with someone like him?

deshou · Post by **deshou** » Jul 18th, '07, 01:27

@mongbat
Now that you mention it, I might have a friend that fits your description... super nice and friendly to everyone, doesnt care if he gets bashed a little once in a while for no apparent good reason... Well, yeah, I only see him as a friend, but he does have a girlfriend .. which is exactly like him...

pongalong · Post by **pongalong** » Sep 27th, '07, 00:46

i want my boyfriend to treat me with respect. and what the hell is with freak dancing? i find that disgusting... especially when girls do it to their best friends. i don't know about you but rubbing my hoo-ha on someone's ass isn't exactly the way i want to express how much my friends mean to me or how much i love my boyfriend. goodness, can you imagine? what if my boyfriend comes up to me and says "how much do you love me?" wouldn't he be shocked if i said, "turn around and let my punani show you" ew. ewwww that's just wrong! guys should respect our bodies even if a lot of us don't respect ourselves. be a gentleman dammit.

ClockwiseStir · Post by **ClockwiseStir** » Oct 13th, '07, 04:18

naviro wrote:You girls say that you want to be treated with respect, kindness, etc etc. that you want a guy who's smart, funny, caring, loyal, and all that good stuff. I'm very much like that but in my experience girls never really see guys like me as more than a friend if even that. I just don't understand why girls never realize the person that they always wanted was right in front of them. It's makes me mad when I see them going go with guys that are jerks and get treated like garbage. Why is it that I never even get a chance and others, who don't deserve her, end up dating her.

i am not trying to be mean or anything, but how can you be sure you are 'smart, funny, loyal and all that good stuff'! I have seen a few people on forums claim that are like that .. hehe.. but are you so sure of yourself? (i'm not saying you aren't, just curious who in the world can claim themselves to be so nice)..

I think some of you guys have got it wrong. all these are how we girls like to be treated by guys but that doesn't mean we'd fall head over heels for a guy who treats us like that... i mean, look, if 10 guys would all treat us with that equal niceness, that doesn't mean we would go for all 10 if them...

no one really understand how it works, there must be this mutual 'click' for two ppl to have feelings for each other.. which i guess does not depend on how you treat her..

i like it when guys take notice of the fact im actually there, i find guys who asume i'm invisible rude.. except those who have only their girlfriends in their eyes.. then i'll say they are sweet.. haha.. HUGS from behind is the sweetest thing ever!! and guys that are clingy -- they want to see you all the time or say they miss you eventhough you haven't seen them just for a few hrs -- is a no no...

guys who respect me, are understanding, thoughtful, someone who lives life with a meaning -- a worthwhile human being not some jerk -- but that doesn't mean i'll fall in love with you, I can admire you as a friend

ethidda · Post by **ethidda** » Oct 13th, '07, 06:25

Hmm... haven't read all of the thread. But here's my stance on it.

To echo an earlier post, be a gentleman. Open doors. Offer to pay for dinner, if not necessarily pay for it. Give a girl her coat if she's cold. etc. etc.

Be willing to talk. As a girl, I won't go up and start talking to guys unless I already know them well. However, if somebody comes up to me and strikes up a conversation, I won't shut him down unless I already hate his guts (i.e. he offended me earlier). Once I get to know you, I'll talk to you more and get to know you. Then, another world of possibilities open up.

Treat us nicely... with a caveat. Most girls like to be special. (Guys, too, I imagine.) If a guy treats everybody nicely (the typical "nice guy"), I won't see him treating me nicely either as an expression of his interest nor that he sees me as anything special. However, if a guy is willing to do some things that he usually wouldn't do for others, then I would know that I mean something to him (as a friend, object of affection, girlfriend, lover, whatever). I wouldn't want to bother dating him, either, because... well, I'd just get the same treatment.

Rely on the girl a little. This shows trust, and respect for her abilities. Please, do not act stupid. (I had a guy once ask me about the same homework question incessantly, just so I would talk with him... -.- ) But if you're friends with her already, and you think she could help you with something, then go ahead and ask her. Most guys like it when girls ask them about things... the same is true for girls, just on different topics, usually.

Mostly, just act natural. Be yourself--she's going to find out who you are sooner or later anyways.

exiguel88 · Post by **exiguel88** » Oct 30th, '07, 09:52

I expect a woman to wishfully to be treated the way i treat them. If i get rejected, then I don't want to be with her.

Noale · Post by **Noale** » Nov 1st, '07, 12:17

ethidda wrote:Hmm... haven't read all of the thread. But here's my stance on it.

To echo an earlier post, be a gentleman. Open doors. Offer to pay for dinner, if not necessarily pay for it. Give a girl her coat if she's cold. etc. etc.

Be willing to talk. As a girl, I won't go up and start talking to guys unless I already know them well. However, if somebody comes up to me and strikes up a conversation, I won't shut him down unless I already hate his guts (i.e. he offended me earlier). Once I get to know you, I'll talk to you more and get to know you. Then, another world of possibilities open up.

Treat us nicely... with a caveat. Most girls like to be special. (Guys, too, I imagine.) If a guy treats everybody nicely (the typical "nice guy"), I won't see him treating me nicely either as an expression of his interest nor that he sees me as anything special. However, if a guy is willing to do some things that he usually wouldn't do for others, then I would know that I mean something to him (as a friend, object of affection, girlfriend, lover, whatever). I wouldn't want to bother dating him, either, because... well, I'd just get the same treatment.

Rely on the girl a little. This shows trust, and respect for her abilities. Please, do not act stupid. (I had a guy once ask me about the same homework question incessantly, just so I would talk with him... -.- ) But if you're friends with her already, and you think she could help you with something, then go ahead and ask her. Most guys like it when girls ask them about things... the same is true for girls, just on different topics, usually.

Mostly, just act natural. Be yourself--she's going to find out who you are sooner or later anyways.

I completely agree with you. On all your points, really. Especially the last point is of great importance. Guys should manage to follow your first points, but stay natural at the same time and not try too hard, because that would be annoying.
I very much value that second point of yours, where you say that guys should walk up to a girl, even if she's a stranger, and just act polite and friendly and start a nice conversation, without being too fast and scaring her away. But I've never really had guys walk up to me like that. Only guys who were rude and showed many wrong intentions. Perhaps most good guys are also somewhat shy guys who wouldn't dare walking up to strangers and start talking to them? Can't say I find it unreasonable though - I never walk up to strangers myself, so why should guys have to be the ones to do it?

Pingu4u2 · Post by **Pingu4u2** » Nov 11th, '07, 03:46

I want to be treated the way Jang Geum was treated by Min Jeong-ho in Jewel in the Palace (Dae Jang Geum)

. Now that's the perfect way to treat a lady

.

Truth be told, I would never want a guy that is like the ones in the dramas that are complete a**holes, and treat the girls like dirt. (<-- and I don't like those dramas much, despite a lot of people thinking that they're sweet.)

There's nothing shameful or unmanly about treating a girl nicely - no need to try to look badass

.

dyesan · Post by **dyesan** » Nov 13th, '07, 10:08

Simply amazed.

You'd think that, well all or most of you are right! It's actually surprising for me to hear all these things of how a girl would like to be treated by a guy. But over here, it's like the completely opposite of it. Perhaps it has to do with just this community of d-addicts..

..for the better or worse?

Gen Noka · Post by **Gen Noka** » Nov 13th, '07, 21:02

I'd like to be treated with respect, not from only guys but girls in general.
If "guy" is directed at a boyfriend or something then respect and kindness. Actually I want to be treated as his queen, lol.

atskv9 · Post by **atskv9** » Nov 13th, '07, 21:37

Not trying to be chauvinistic, but from what I've seen, many women will fall for a bad boy and end up getting treated like crap but they seem to be okay with it. If you don't give them the time of day, it really seems to make the girl want to have that guy more. And if that guy does give them the time of day, they dont give it back and dont think there is anything that special about that guy if he is just waiting around for her to say yes.

Vitadrink469 · Post by **Vitadrink469** » Nov 30th, '07, 04:40

I might be a bit late for the topic, but hugs are really "powerful" Especially from behind. My GF personally love hugs from behind, haha... she goes silent. But whats stronger is the second hug after the first. I forgot what its called (I don't know but theres a word for that double hug, created by the girls? I don't remember what the word was.. Lol)

atskv9 · Post by **atskv9** » Nov 30th, '07, 04:50

the reciprocated hug?

Vitadrink469 · Post by **Vitadrink469** » Nov 30th, '07, 04:57

Sounds familiar, Hehe, I'm guessing it is! Thanks

cesothao · Post by **cesothao** » Dec 5th, '08, 23:01

SUPRISE me!

ackirom · Post by **ackirom** » Dec 25th, '08, 06:59

atskv9 wrote:Not trying to be chauvinistic, but from what I've seen, many women will fall for a bad boy and end up getting treated like crap but they seem to be okay with it. If you don't give them the time of day, it really seems to make the girl want to have that guy more. And if that guy does give them the time of day, they dont give it back and dont think there is anything that special about that guy if he is just waiting around for her to say yes.

Ugh. I hate how you're right. It's the truth. I don't know why we're attracted to that kind. It's like a drug. It's bad for you. It's even banned and illegal. But you want it because you can't have it. That's the attraction. It's forbidden.

«minah» · Post by **«minah»** » Dec 26th, '08, 05:59

Not being taken for granted when we do the little "behind the scene" things....geez, some recognition would be nice and some appreciation. Well, that's what's going on with me anyway hehe... blah........ Being treated with respect is the top I believe.

dabogy · Post by **dabogy** » Jul 15th, '09, 02:32

every girl dreamt and wishes to be treated as a princess with tender loving care.
they also loved to be treated as a precious jewel..

White Reflection · Post by **White Reflection** » Aug 24th, '09, 01:21

Xi@h wrote:I'm not a girl but I know that most girls want to be treated with respect and kindness and with love. They want to be cherished.

dabogy wrote:every girl dreamt and wishes to be treated as a princess with tender loving care.
they also loved to be treated as a precious jewel..

yes yes yes

You-Suge · Post by **You-Suge** » Sep 19th, '09, 18:17

Those are answers to "how a girl wants to be treated"...indeed.

But the question is: who cares? (oops, sorry for the obscure reference...)

Just kidding...

The real question is: "What shall a guy do to keep a girl?". In actuality, the answer might differ somehow...

noobee · Post by **noobee** » Sep 19th, '09, 18:50

this is so informative

OnlyWish · Post by **OnlyWish** » Sep 19th, '09, 18:51

respected, not treated like just a sex object or a piece of meat, not lied to, not used (for things or money), not wasting her time (i.e. never showing up or being late -- especially if she never does that to you), kindly (just don't be a jerk!)

basically the way you would want to be treated. no jerks or mean, rude guys

i think the "cherish" part or treated like a fragile piece of glass is a bit extreme. imo i don't care about that stuff. just be kind and nice the way i would treat them. it's so much harder to find a guy like that though >_>

cool_drama · Post by **cool_drama** » Sep 19th, '09, 19:18

This depends on the girl's personality. She has the main power to influence guys on how they should treat her. Don't expect every girl to be treated the same.

paulf · Post by **paulf** » Oct 23rd, '09, 06:13

1.Be Handsome
2.Be Attractive
3.Dont Be Unattractive

Haha. Seriously though, The one tip I would give is that while all girls want to be loved and treated right, NO girl wants a guy that just throws himself at her with no chase whatsoever, unless hes looks like a supermodel. No chase=No fun. Nodbody likes a doormat.

If you cant keep things exciting for her she'll go off and chase someone else!

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