How to approach girls?

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sasukepanda
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How to approach girls?

Post by sasukepanda » Jan 11th, '07, 00:51

I've been always wondering about this subject, do girls like the "aggressive" approach (bump in and ask her out)? or another kind of approach, can't think of one. Just give your opinion. XD

HouseFan
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Re: How to approach girls?

Post by HouseFan » Jan 11th, '07, 00:56

sasukepanda wrote:I've been always wondering about this subject, do girls like the "aggressive" approach (bump in and ask her out)? or another kind of approach, can't think of one. Just give your opinion. XD
This may not seem helpful to you, but it depends on the girl. Some would feel put off if a guy just jumped right in. However, some girls feel it's right for the guy to be "aggressive". Personally, I don't like the jump right in and ask, especially if I don't know the guy, but I like a bit more casual, slow approach. However, my friend keeps complaining that a guy should just come right out and ask her.

It depends on who you want to ask.

outcast
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Post by outcast » Jan 11th, '07, 01:03

Big "No" 2 aggressive guys for sure, It will be nice if u can make a girl laugh, but the joke should be new & good one!!
also, confidence and be ur self, is all wht u 've got 2 take a girl attention.

groink
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Post by groink » Jan 11th, '07, 01:23

Although it is true that it depends on the girl, I think there are many factors that, put together, will give you an idea how to approach the girl - regardless of what she's into. Here are some examples:

Bar or night club - It is expected that if you're female and is not sitting with a man, guys should approach you aggressively. Some women may not want guys to ask them out. But, given the environment, the women must be able to handle it.

Church - I don't personally go to church, but I know of a lot of guys who do. And some of them actually go just to meet women. In this environment, use the slow approach. One way to use the fast track method would be to take advantage of any "singles night" events, which many churches and other religious organizations seem to have. At a singles night even, it is expected for the man to be aggressive. The idea here is that the purpose of the meeting should dictate the approach.

Grocery store - Forget about it! My favorite movie line: "You should stay out of the frozen food section. You're so hot, you'll melt all this stuff!!!" Meeting at a grocery store or other shopping store happens only in movies and dramas. But if you're dying to ask that girl out, be aggressive.

School - Slow approach always! I say this because school is basically education throw into several years of socializing. You have many opportunities to become friends with the girl and eventually have her trust you. And by then, you too will have figured out whether or not she's good for you.

Work - I've done this too many times! Don't do it! As a matter of fact, many companies conduct a no-dating-between-coworkers policy because it DOES create a hostile environment for not only the two people involved, but also the coworkers who have to put up with it one way or another.

Clubs and other organizations - Slow approach, always! If you're an American and are under 30, check out the U.S. Jaycees. Work on projects with the female, and then eventually gain her friendship, and then take it from there.

In a public setting - Such as a block party, park or at a Starbucks. Aggressive approach is a must!

The whole idea is this: There are settings were it is a one-time shot, and there are settings where it can become long-term. If you're only going to see the girl once, be aggressive. If you're going to see her many times, become friends first.

For girls, you must also understand this. So if you're in a given setting, the guy is going to use the method that is more appropriate for HIM. If you're in an aggressive setting and you don't like being bother by guys, you're going to have to learn how to deal with it.

--- groink

Shiroikupo
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Post by Shiroikupo » Jan 11th, '07, 01:35

786040 experience points earned! Thank you. Geez I had no idea an aggressive approach could lead to a success thanks to that damn otaku culture :lol

Yunase
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Post by Yunase » Jan 11th, '07, 17:06

groink wrote:Although it is true that it depends on the girl, I think there are many factors that, put together, will give you an idea how to approach the girl - regardless of what she's into. Here are some examples:

Bar or night club - It is expected that if you're female and is not sitting with a man, guys should approach you aggressively. Some women may not want guys to ask them out. But, given the environment, the women must be able to handle it.

Church - I don't personally go to church, but I know of a lot of guys who do. And some of them actually go just to meet women. In this environment, use the slow approach. One way to use the fast track method would be to take advantage of any "singles night" events, which many churches and other religious organizations seem to have. At a singles night even, it is expected for the man to be aggressive. The idea here is that the purpose of the meeting should dictate the approach.

Grocery store - Forget about it! My favorite movie line: "You should stay out of the frozen food section. You're so hot, you'll melt all this stuff!!!" Meeting at a grocery store or other shopping store happens only in movies and dramas. But if you're dying to ask that girl out, be aggressive.

School - Slow approach always! I say this because school is basically education throw into several years of socializing. You have many opportunities to become friends with the girl and eventually have her trust you. And by then, you too will have figured out whether or not she's good for you.

Work - I've done this too many times! Don't do it! As a matter of fact, many companies conduct a no-dating-between-coworkers policy because it DOES create a hostile environment for not only the two people involved, but also the coworkers who have to put up with it one way or another.

Clubs and other organizations - Slow approach, always! If you're an American and are under 30, check out the U.S. Jaycees. Work on projects with the female, and then eventually gain her friendship, and then take it from there.

In a public setting - Such as a block party, park or at a Starbucks. Aggressive approach is a must!

The whole idea is this: There are settings were it is a one-time shot, and there are settings where it can become long-term. If you're only going to see the girl once, be aggressive. If you're going to see her many times, become friends first.

For girls, you must also understand this. So if you're in a given setting, the guy is going to use the method that is more appropriate for HIM. If you're in an aggressive setting and you don't like being bother by guys, you're going to have to learn how to deal with it.

--- groink
Well, your idea in approaching women without a second though is a very good advice. Usually men are more than freaked out when they have to open a conversation with a girl they don't know. Projecting fictional situation and role playing the girl you're chasing for in your head is a no-no because it fucks up so much your brain once you're in front of the person you're talking to. There are no preconstructed scenario. No perfect conversations. Which means only one thing : the more you fail, the better it is because you will learn !

However, I must disagree with the "agressive" attitude. Being agressive is not the solution and do not depends on "one night stand" or "long term relationship" situation. The girl doesn't even know you and you're behaving in a negative way. Guess what ? She will ignore you. Why ? Because you're not the first guy talking to her. Maybe the 6th one in less than 1 hour. Especially if she's beautiful, why would she bother to even acknowledge you when she has at least 45 guys hitting on her every day ?

The best approach is to initiate a conversation, usually by a funny remark on something particular on her, or from the context to open her. The idea is to demonstrate that you're not a potential treath, you're just someone who appears to be intriguing and interesting enough to continue to chat with. It reminds me for example when I waited my order at pizza hut, there was a girl who was reading the menus and looked like she was struggling between the pepperoni and the cheese as extras, so I simply said "hey, you know, the 2 menus you're looking at are in fact the same if you look closely (which was true), they put them together to make you wait in front of the store so people like me could steal your place". She laughted and we chat for a while after. Nuff saying that if I bumped her or even become agressive, she would have been on the defensive. Girls aren't stupid, if you're talking to her, she knows the reason.
Last edited by Yunase on Jan 11th, '07, 20:34, edited 3 times in total.

delfe
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Post by delfe » Jan 11th, '07, 17:37

Yunase sure is right when he says:
Girls aren't stupid, if you're talking to her, she knows the reason.
From a girl point of view, you need to show some confidence, without looking too agressive. I think shy guys are cute, but if too shy, your cause is lost!!! So if you try to engage a conversation but then get lost, it's usually not a problem, it can make a girl melt.

It probably doesn't help you much, so here come some examples:

You're in a club, and you notice a cute girl. Don't go like "you're beautiful" (means you're just being... heavy), or "can we date", too direct. The worst guys are the ones trying the same approach on different girls in one place (no a chance unless they meet a realy drunk one).
If you want to make a compliment, show you've been looking at her, and talk about a detail, something that makes a special or funny. Girls like to believe they're unique! So you gotta make her believe you've noticed only her.
I personnaly prefer guys who ask me to dance, so there won't be any unnecessary shitty talk, and proximity makes things easier.

And for everyday life, chatting is the best, it shows you're interested and you've got guts to engage the conversation (so you're not the overly shy type), and that you're willing to take time to know her better, it shows you care.

By chatting or inviting to dance, you'll get the chance to understand if she's interested without being awfully rejected, which is quite bad for ego I think....

Hope this will help.

groink
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Post by groink » Jan 11th, '07, 22:16

I should clear up one train of thought.... When you ask women out, you are NOT - and I mean NOT in all caps - looking for a 100-percent success rate. If you do, you're going about it all wrong, and it actually increases the likelihood of failure. This is why I don't find it wrong at all to ask women for a phone number or date within a few minutes of meeting her.

First off, I don't believe in love-at-first-sight. Asking women out should never be about finding love. I believe that an attraction of any kind is a combination of being interested in one or more of a woman's features and mannerisms.

Second, adding "love" to the situation creates roadblocks. For most guys I know, they can easily create roadblocks when they think too much about the approach. Fear of failure is the worst thing you can do to yourself. When that happens, you end up not asking her out at all. Now to me, I find that more pathetic than spending a long time trying to get to know the woman and THEN asking her out.

And third, like someone else indicated, women are smart. Even if you take the slow approach, the woman KNOWS you're interested in her. Again, Asian dramas are telling you lies. They're written to take advantage of this "dream" that relationships actually occur like this. Never have I seen a woman all of a sudden discover that the guy who's been hanging around her for X amount of time wants to date her. There are ways men act around the women the like, and the women can feed of of this immediately!!!! So my attitude is this: why go through the bullsh*t when she already knows? Don't think that the X amount of time you spend with her will make you LOOK to be the person she wants.

Successful relationships are not manufactured. They happen by chance. There's absolutely nothing wrong with asking a woman out quickly and fail. There's DEFINITELY a problem with wasting time on just one woman at a time. And there's no such of a thing as a potential relationship becoming "more likely" by wasting weeks or months. Like I mentioned in my earlier post, the condition of the situation (the mall, school, church, etc.) dictates the approach. When the aggressive approach is acceptable, just DO IT! And when the slow approach is the more appropriate approach, DO NOT focus on just the one woman; focus on several.

Keys here in order of what occurs:

1. Attraction.
2. Establish interest.
3. Indicate interest to the other person.
4. Dating.
5. Commitment.

And all those keys must occur in that order. Well, off to the SONY Open...

--- groink

Yunase
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Post by Yunase » Jan 12th, '07, 01:06

You're in a club, and you notice a cute girl. Don't go like "you're beautiful" (means you're just being... heavy), or "can we date", too direct.
True, because once properly translated, the subtle message it conveys is "Hi my name is X, can we have sex ?".



groink wrote:I should clear up one train of thought.... When you ask women out, you are NOT - and I mean NOT in all caps - looking for a 100-percent success rate. If you do, you're going about it all wrong, and it actually increases the likelihood of failure. This is why I don't find it wrong at all to ask women for a phone number or date within a few minutes of meeting her.

First off, I don't believe in love-at-first-sight. Asking women out should never be about finding love. I believe that an attraction of any kind is a combination of being interested in one or more of a woman's features and mannerisms.

Second, adding "love" to the situation creates roadblocks. For most guys I know, they can easily create roadblocks when they think too much about the approach. Fear of failure is the worst thing you can do to yourself. When that happens, you end up not asking her out at all. Now to me, I find that more pathetic than spending a long time trying to get to know the woman and THEN asking her out.

And third, like someone else indicated, women are smart. Even if you take the slow approach, the woman KNOWS you're interested in her. Again, Asian dramas are telling you lies. They're written to take advantage of this "dream" that relationships actually occur like this. Never have I seen a woman all of a sudden discover that the guy who's been hanging around her for X amount of time wants to date her. There are ways men act around the women the like, and the women can feed of of this immediately!!!! So my attitude is this: why go through the bullsh*t when she already knows? Don't think that the X amount of time you spend with her will make you LOOK to be the person she wants.

Successful relationships are not manufactured. They happen by chance. There's absolutely nothing wrong with asking a woman out quickly and fail. There's DEFINITELY a problem with wasting time on just one woman at a time. And there's no such of a thing as a potential relationship becoming "more likely" by wasting weeks or months. Like I mentioned in my earlier post, the condition of the situation (the mall, school, church, etc.) dictates the approach. When the aggressive approach is acceptable, just DO IT! And when the slow approach is the more appropriate approach, DO NOT focus on just the one woman; focus on several.

Keys here in order of what occurs:

1. Attraction.
2. Establish interest.
3. Indicate interest to the other person.
4. Dating.
5. Commitment.

And all those keys must occur in that order. Well, off to the SONY Open...

--- groink
What you're saying globally is true. You're right on many points. The only one I disagree with is the "agressive" approach concept. I believe it works on some particular situation, but being agressive can be easily misunderstood, which means that the girl will blow you off before you even started speaking to her.

Also, I would not recommend to show interest until she's shown you any sign of interest (did she asked your name ? Smiling to you ? Reinitiating the dialogue when you stop talking ?) for a very simple reason : a girl who doesn't want to talk to you... Will not talk to you. No matter how hard you'll try. There may be a million answer to explain this kind of situation, but right now, she's simply not interested. Just eject yourself politely and stop insisting in the wrong way.

yieebo
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Post by yieebo » Jan 12th, '07, 01:22

if she seems sophisticated, use your intelligence, natural whit and charms to woo her, otherwise put on your Daktari[img]http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p230 ... aktari.jpg[/img] garb and break out the tranquilizer gun. just kidding of course.
Last edited by yieebo on Jan 12th, '07, 01:23, edited 1 time in total.

sasukepanda
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Post by sasukepanda » Jan 12th, '07, 01:23

yieebo wrote:if she seems sophisticated, use your intelligence and natural whit and charms to woo her, otherwise put on your Daktari[img]http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p230 ... aktari.jpg[/img] garb and break out the tranquilizer gun. just kidding of course.

HAHAHA!!! like the daktari Idea

cool_drama
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Post by cool_drama » Jan 12th, '07, 02:15

Let's step away from the fantasy world of movies and dramas for a minute.

Most girls prefer the strong and aggressive(not insultingly aggressive) type. This personality links to how a guy view life as a whole and how he will aggressively control his future. And I'm pretty sure girls like guys with nice futures for shelter.

Yunase
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Post by Yunase » Jan 12th, '07, 03:29

yieebo wrote:if she seems sophisticated, use your intelligence, natural whit and charms to woo her, otherwise put on your Daktari[img]http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p230 ... aktari.jpg[/img] garb and break out the tranquilizer gun. just kidding of course.
OMG, is the monkey putting the earplugs in is XXXX ?

HouseFan
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Post by HouseFan » Jan 12th, '07, 05:01

cool_drama wrote:Let's step away from the fantasy world of movies and dramas for a minute.

Most girls prefer the strong and aggressive(not insultingly aggressive) type. This personality links to how a guy view life as a whole and how he will aggressively control his future. And I'm pretty sure girls like guys with nice futures for shelter.
That's been proven, actually. It's got to do with survival instincts - men who fared better and were strong got the women, because they believed that it would be good for breeding.

It just depends on how you approach a girl. Most girls don't like it if you approach them aggressively with the intent on sex. And you can't be cheesy. It's a BIG turnoff.

The thing is, if you intend to get laid, go to a club. But if you're looking for a big committment type thing, don't act up straight away. I guess these things take time. It's not love at first sight, it's lust. It just has to evolve into love sometimes. My mom couldn't stand my dad at first (bad sideburns...) but it took time. They're still happily married.

It actually depends on what you're looking for. There are a lot of factors involved.

Mythrel
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Post by Mythrel » Jan 12th, '07, 05:11

I love when the agressive guys approach my girl and than I get tio see their faces when I step into view. I should start taking pictures and make a collage of them XD At first I thought the whole intimidation thing was stupid but now I love it cause I don't even have to say anything and they run like cowards. She likes it too because she never has to deal with them anymore so it's a win win situation lol. Although I wasn't agressive in getting her, but that's like what others have said, it depends on the girl. We slowly built our relationship from friends to lovers over two months, and it all worked out :lol

mimmi
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Post by mimmi » Jan 13th, '07, 18:25

how to approach girls?....walk up to the girl, whack her on the head with your club, if she whack your head back, she's interested :lol....did any of you watch a movie called "the emerald forest?" or something like that :lol....oh, it was an old movie by the way , and it has that part in it....( the main character asked "but how do I approach her, then he was being told to do that and that's just what he did" :lol....the boy was a white boy in the amazon jungle :lol....

@ groink: I second groink opinion on this :lol....

nanorie
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Post by nanorie » Jan 13th, '07, 18:57

Personally I wouldlike to at least to the guy a couple of times, to get to know him.... otherwise it would put too much pressure... and it'll be more relaxed...
So no pushy guys for me, thank you!

dragon35fire90
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Post by dragon35fire90 » Jan 13th, '07, 19:09

I think you should become friends with them before making any moves XD

mun78
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lol

Post by mun78 » Jan 24th, '07, 04:41

HouseFan wrote:
cool_drama wrote:Let's step away from the fantasy world of movies and dramas for a minute.

Most girls prefer the strong and aggressive(not insultingly aggressive) type. This personality links to how a guy view life as a whole and how he will aggressively control his future. And I'm pretty sure girls like guys with nice futures for shelter.
That's been proven, actually. It's got to do with survival instincts - men who fared better and were strong got the women, because they believed that it would be good for breeding.

It just depends on how you approach a girl. Most girls don't like it if you approach them aggressively with the intent on sex. And you can't be cheesy. It's a BIG turnoff.

The thing is, if you intend to get laid, go to a club. But if you're looking for a big committment type thing, don't act up straight away. I guess these things take time. It's not love at first sight, it's lust. It just has to evolve into love sometimes. My mom couldn't stand my dad at first (bad sideburns...) but it took time. They're still happily married.

It actually depends on what you're looking for. There are a lot of factors involved.

lol, if you want the hoe, you got to have the doe. No **** is going to marry you , if you can't throw money in their face everytime they get their period.

wai_muna
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Post by wai_muna » Jan 25th, '07, 06:41

by saying hye..and smile

Phearsome
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Post by Phearsome » Jan 25th, '07, 06:46

wai_muna wrote:by saying hye..and smile
\
NO! Start busting those ghetto dance moves that you learned at hme watching TV. It will get her attention and you will be DIFFERENT then those guys who try to buy her a drink at the bar.

I know start busting out those Bokgo dance like Bae Seul Gi!

WHAT? it worked for me!

yamcha
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Post by yamcha » Feb 7th, '07, 02:20

Put on your best shirt and tie and your best suit jacket. Walk up to her slowly and with confidence. Make sure you are not wearing any pants or underwear.

horent135
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Post by horent135 » Feb 7th, '07, 02:23

yamcha wrote:Put on your best shirt and tie and your best suit jacket. Walk up to her slowly and with confidence. Make sure you are not wearing any pants or underwear.
haha, now we know wat she likes ;)

FlameWolf21
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Post by FlameWolf21 » Feb 7th, '07, 02:53

lol @ the no pants idea... yeah that would definitely get her attention and maybe her number. lol na but i think you guys are wrong. I hate when guys think its ok to just come up to me and ask for my number. I'm like hello i don't know you... u could be some sort of physco. So personally i think you can have confidence and still approah slowly. DOn't immediately ask for her number strike up a conversation, if she gets interested enough hell she might be asking for your number.. or email.. lol women today know what they want regardless what people or guys may think. If she wants to leave with a certain guy that night no matter how many drink you buy her she will probably end up leavin with that guy. lol

yamcha
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Post by yamcha » Feb 7th, '07, 03:09

You can also go up to her and ask her for her email. If she says that she doesn't have email then you look at her with an expression like you think she is really stupid. Then you ask her if she has electricity. She probably won't know how to reply so then you take out your mobile and tell her to dictate the number to you.

The key is to never ask. Asking is for wimps. Real men only ask for what they can already take.

meviet
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Post by meviet » Feb 7th, '07, 03:16

i dunno if this would help, but to me, you should come up and have a conversation with her about anything (note: with a big group of people, so it wouldn't look like you purposely came for her). then each day try to become her friend, then you should know when it's the right time. but do not rush because she needs time to feel comfortable around you. this is the only way you could know more about her, AND you will have time to prepare. this is a very slow way i would say. :thumleft:


ok, yeah..uhm..does anyone know how to tell when a guy likes you? hehehe :P

FlameWolf21
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Post by FlameWolf21 » Feb 7th, '07, 03:22

Thats a little too aggressive. I mean imagine going to the mall with your friends a guy, lets say he's passable, comes up to you asks your name and is like what's your number, cuz I'm going to need to call before i pick you up. Not only would i laugh at his audacity but i'd prolli give him the rejection hotline. A guy like that is just askin for it. And there is no such thing, none that i've seen anyway, as a 'real man' cuz people are always mixing that up with the perfect man. All men have flaws and insecurities because they are human. So regardless of who they may think they are... unless they want a higher rate of rejection they need to calm down on the aggressive I'm man enough not to ASK but to tell you what i want you to do for me. Girls might as well just fall back and spread dem legs if you're gonna go with that approach

FlameWolf21
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Post by FlameWolf21 » Feb 7th, '07, 03:23

Thats a little too aggressive. I mean imagine going to the mall with your friends a guy, lets say he's passable, comes up to you asks your name and is like what's your number, cuz I'm going to need to call before i pick you up. Not only would i laugh at his audacity but i'd prolli give him the rejection hotline. A guy like that is just askin for it. And there is no such thing, none that i've seen anyway, as a 'real man' cuz people are always mixing that up with the perfect man. All men have flaws and insecurities because they are human. So regardless of who they may think they are... unless they want a higher rate of rejection they need to calm down on the aggressive I'm man enough not to ASK but to tell you what i want you to do for me. Girls might as well just fall back and spread dem legs if you're gonna go with that approach

AboutDrama
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Post by AboutDrama » Feb 7th, '07, 03:38

One sentence: Just be yourself...

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Post by Tatsuri » Feb 7th, '07, 03:56

I say a mixture of both. Girl tend to like a agressive guys because they can feel safe around him. Sometimes. If the guy is to agressive the girl is most likely to be afraid. But the slow approach can work just a well. It gives the girl as chance to know more about you and vice versa, If you try the slow approach you might find out that the girl isn't what you thought she was. Jumping into it to fast would be hell.

Me, I can't stand guys who are rude with their approach. Never go up to a girl refering to her as "baby" "lil mama" "sweet heart" or any of those smooth talking names guys use. If a girl replies to those it shows a lack of self respect and a lack of respect the boy show for the girl.

Go for it directly, sorta. Take charge and ask her name but introduce yourself first. If you already know her, skip that step. Compliment her but not lustful comments. And don't stare. Look at her in the eyes or at least her face. Don't just consistenyl stare at the rest of her body.

LIKE EVERYONE ELSE SAID, It depends on the girl.

Tatsuri
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Post by Tatsuri » Feb 7th, '07, 04:01

Another thing. Me personally, I think that whole group idea sucks. If you invite her out on some group things as just a friend, there is a chance that she could like your friend or a friend could like her. Besides, who wants to actually go out with a bunch a people. If you want to get comfortable around each other do it conversation wise. Even if it starts of with just "Hi". Hi can gradually lead to a bigger conversation which leads to a bigger and another one. I just don't like the group thing. Again thats speaking for me personally.

meviet
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Post by meviet » Feb 7th, '07, 04:19

Tatsuri wrote:Another thing. Me personally, I think that whole group idea sucks. If you invite her out on some group things as just a friend, there is a chance that she could like your friend or a friend could like her. Besides, who wants to actually go out with a bunch a people. If you want to get comfortable around each other do it conversation wise. Even if it starts of with just "Hi". Hi can gradually lead to a bigger conversation which leads to a bigger and another one. I just don't like the group thing. Again thats speaking for me personally.
ok i think i didn't explain it very well. what i meant by group is, when there is some sort conversation between bunch of people and no one knows each other, you could fit in and try to be like everyone else. talk to her and someone else at the same time. and do not ask her to go out with you, basically try to talk to her at least once. later aprroach her again and then say "hi again, remember me?" then talk and talk until you guys become well-known to each other. just like how you met your friends.
if no one understands me this time, i guess i'm not good at this stuff. this is the first time i actually advised someone about this kind of stuff.. so yeah..

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Post by yamcha » Feb 7th, '07, 04:35

Go up to her, spit in her face and walk away.

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Post by onoturtle » Feb 7th, '07, 05:03

I'd have to agree with groink. The whole friend-to-lover thing is risky. If it works out, hey that's awesome. But if it doesn't, you just wasted a lot of time. Especially if it ends the friendship you two built. A very sad thing. Happened to me, and I'm sure it has happened to some of you too.

That's why I like being more "aggressive" and making your interests known if not your first meeting with the person, the second or the third. If you fail, no big deal! Just a little dent in your pride, but hey you'll be over it in a hour or two. Easy to move on.

My current impression is that getting a girl's number is easy. Keeping things up afterward is tough. Ok, so how do I approach a girl? I'm a shy guy, so it takes me a bit to gather up the courage to approach a girl and just say "Hi." I usually get a "hi" back. Then I typically bring up something that is happening around us to start a conversation. I then try to find some common ground and then ask her out to do something related to the common ground. If yes, then I get her number :) That hardest thing of all that is finding the initial conversation topic. But yeah, there is no formula to it. You just have to figure out how to work with what you have in the current situation.

I'll give an example of one of my experiences to illustrate, and because it involves dramas! haha There was this Asian girl I thought was cute at the university that I've seen around campus 2 or 3 times. One of those days I just said "Hi" as we passed each other by, giving each other a smile. I think it was two days later I saw her waiting for the bus so I just walked up to her, said "Hi again!" (and she remembered me) and started talking about how particularly hot it was that day. Yeah, pretty lame lol But I introduced myself and she introduced herself. Found out that she is from Korea, and so I mentioned I wanted to learn Korean someday and made it known I watch k-dramas. K-drama convo commences. I propose that we get together and watch something. She says OK and I get her number. Easy. (Though in this particular case, I later found out that she has a bf and I lost interest. I like k-dramas, but I don't want to end up possibly making my own!)

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Post by Tatsuri » Feb 7th, '07, 16:54

meviet wrote:
Tatsuri wrote:Another thing. Me personally, I think that whole group idea sucks. If you invite her out on some group things as just a friend, there is a chance that she could like your friend or a friend could like her. Besides, who wants to actually go out with a bunch a people. If you want to get comfortable around each other do it conversation wise. Even if it starts of with just "Hi". Hi can gradually lead to a bigger conversation which leads to a bigger and another one. I just don't like the group thing. Again thats speaking for me personally.
ok i think i didn't explain it very well. what i meant by group is, when there is some sort conversation between bunch of people and no one knows each other, you could fit in and try to be like everyone else. talk to her and someone else at the same time. and do not ask her to go out with you, basically try to talk to her at least once. later aprroach her again and then say "hi again, remember me?" then talk and talk until you guys become well-known to each other. just like how you met your friends.
if no one understands me this time, i guess i'm not good at this stuff. this is the first time i actually advised someone about this kind of stuff.. so yeah..
Okay I understand what you're saying. I've seen that happen before.
Go up to her, spit in her face and walk away.
Yeah that'll get her attention, along with him getting his a** kicked.

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Post by Buck » Feb 11th, '07, 08:35

My advice for you here is to make a U turn and forget about asking a girl out and save yourself from the drama

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Post by Tatsuri » Feb 11th, '07, 22:07

Buck wrote:My advice for you here is to make a U turn and forget about asking a girl out and save yourself from the drama
Drama? HA.

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Post by nnt » Dec 12th, '07, 21:27

interesting topic...
What if you just see a cute girl dance at a club, and then you go to her and say what? Just say hi.. Just like that? Approaching girls at places like that are easier than other places ofc. Like in a mall, when you go around and see a cute girl.. What can you do? Run to her and just say hi.. that would be just weird.. Thats what I think..

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Post by kobe23 » Dec 13th, '07, 12:54

How about don't approach her at all? Make HER approach YOU!

You'll find that guys who actively pursue girls end up not getting the girl at all. Guys like that seem too desperate. What you need to do is to keep yourself busy. Even if you're not busy, PRETEND that you are! Believe it or not, but girls like guys who are very active and have a goal in life. Make them feel like you have better things to do and that they're only secondary to your objectives - This makes them want you even more!

Once you get the girl, you can get back to being a bludger and she would probably leave you for someone more ambitious, but hey, there's plenty more fish in the sea :)

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Post by bluespring » Dec 13th, '07, 14:40

Image

you need some fur hat

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Post by Noale » Dec 13th, '07, 14:52

kobe23 wrote:How about don't approach her at all? Make HER approach YOU!

You'll find that guys who actively pursue girls end up not getting the girl at all. Guys like that seem too desperate. What you need to do is to keep yourself busy. Even if you're not busy, PRETEND that you are! Believe it or not, but girls like guys who are very active and have a goal in life. Make them feel like you have better things to do and that they're only secondary to your objectives - This makes them want you even more!

Once you get the girl, you can get back to being a bludger and she would probably leave you for someone more ambitious, but hey, there's plenty more fish in the sea :)
It's true that girls prefer busy guys over desperate ones, but the problem you're likely to encounter is that, unless you're extremely handsome, girls wil let you get on with your business, instead of approaching you. Many won't realise you're interested in them, because you give them no signs and don't spend any attention on them. Plus, most girls never (or seldomly) approach guys. Surely some do, but they're usually the more agressive and wild type of girls. And not everybody is interested in that type. Also, those girls are very likely to dump you shortly afterward and move on to some other guy.

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Post by nnt » Dec 13th, '07, 17:54

Exactly...^^

Even if you are VERY handsome, girls dont just go to the guy and check him up... Its always the guys who check up the girls right? hehe..

But back to my question? Example: u see a girl in the mall, u think she is cute and stuff.. What can u do, run after and say hi? thats just stupid.. Ive notice some1 here wrote that u can just go and introduce urself and stuff... But I think its kinda wrong.

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Post by Noale » Dec 13th, '07, 18:36

Honestly, I wouldn't be able to do it. I'd be too embarassed.
However, I don't think it's wrong in any way, not if you act friendly and polite that is.
Don't be agressive; be target orientated. Remain respectful and create a (seemingly) innocent and spontaneous situation. Also, do not break down and lose face if the girl decides to reject you. Rejection is very well possible - highly likely even - do realise that.
Eventually, what it comes down to is the type of girl you're facing. I'm sure there'll be some brainless and superficial girls who'll enlight you with their "Eww! No! Get away from me!" screams.
Or some inexperienced and insecure girls who'll be too scared and embarassed and will automatically, without thinking it through, say no. But amongst them will be plenty of normal and friendly girls with manners, who will be flattered and will react positive to your approach. Of that I'm sure.

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Post by bluespring » Dec 13th, '07, 19:11

malls are lame! do it in the streets!

how to approach girls in the streets:
1. need a dslr camera
2. pretend to be a blog photographer
3. ask the girl if you can take pictures of her (e.g. outfit blah blah)
"Hi I'm from xxxxxx (website), we're taking pictures of street fashion.
Can we take a pictures of you and your outfit"
4. Ask about the clothes, "Oh where did you get that dress. its cute"
5. Conversation follows

Now you completely approach the girl!
The thread was not how to get girls their number or how to ask them out
So I'll leave that for next time

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Post by briancharliee » Dec 27th, '07, 16:50

Well lot of useful opinions by experts............
I think 1st just be her friend first, and if you already know most of their "story" then all you need to do is take it to the next level, do the whole touching thing, like when u say good bye, just touch her side, or shoulder. let her know u like her without actually telling her, and then she'll secretly wonder if you do like her, and then she'll start to flirt and so on. eventually she (or one of her friends) will ask if you like her, and that's when u say yes. and then u casually ask her out on a few dates, and if everything goes well, ask her to be your gf.

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Post by methos8 » Dec 27th, '07, 17:54

I thought the easiest way is to ride around in buses and trains waiting for some guy to start harassing a pretty girl so you can jump in and save her.

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Post by bluespring » Dec 28th, '07, 02:14

^is that how they do it in canada??

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Post by methos8 » Dec 28th, '07, 02:30

Sadly no, we have not quite yet evolved to the sophisticated level of the Japanese otaku. But I won't give up hope on the dream of receiving some Hermes cups of my very own....

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Post by Stovila » Dec 28th, '07, 03:24

Make it looks like an accident is worse for me in my experiences..
or you could say, I couldn't do it well lol.

What worked mostly for me is just honest tell them that I want to introduce myself and knowing her a bit more.

And if it looks like she doesn't feel comfortable just leave it.

But of course by knowing where is it and the situation.

Don't jump over the girl while they're walking on the mall o.O; (Shut up you're on my way!).
Don't jump over the cafetaria while they're eating (unless the place is full and you ask for the seat favor).

Because trying to approach girl while they're walking / into something is look like "picking up a chick" to me.

It rather be good if place like when you're shopping clothes and meet the girl, exchanging comments,
When you're waiting for a movie theater hour outside.
When it's a break time in college / work.
etc etc.

depends, casual introduction and chat works pretty good, don't need to push ourself too hard.

What make you frustrated is (for male), ..
you were asking "How to approach and bring a girl to bed" instead of everything,
because I found to make a friend (girl) is rather being easier than it seems.

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Post by bluespring » Dec 28th, '07, 18:14

this thread is making me sleeepy idk whyyyyyy

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Post by Yorokobi » Dec 29th, '07, 12:02

havent you seen all the dramas? you gotta accidentaly bump into her both falling over and end up kissing ^_^
couldnt fail!

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Post by xxboxx » Dec 29th, '07, 13:06

methos8 wrote:I thought the easiest way is to ride around in buses and trains waiting for some guy to start harassing a pretty girl so you can jump in and save her.
too much densha otoko.. too much...


in my opinion, the best way would be to strike up small conversation with the girl and gauge her interest from her words and body language, extends the conversation a bit more in order to see her interest. if everything positive then ask her name and see how she respond, and continue the conversation some more. if up to this point everything is green light and you have spend like 10 minutes talking with her then told her you have to go already and ask for the number. if you got it then congratulation, if not then take it as a practice to be more friendly with people. don't spend too long talking to her, you need to ask for her number when her interest is high, not when the conversation has turn sours.

the hardest part of this would be to think whats the topic for the small chat. be creative and original, girls would be more interested if it about some part of her that people usually won't notice. i once ask a girl is the shampoo she's using is brand XXX (because her hair smell very strong), and we start chatting after that.

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Post by LdyPixie » Dec 29th, '07, 13:08

Personally I think it's best when guys are honest. I also appreciate a guy who doesn't run away from an awkward situation, it pays off. So just say it. "Hi. I 'm interested in what you think about "X"." Have a conversation. Smile. Don't try to touch her the first time you talk to her and you should be okay. And remember, women tend to play coy. Rarely do they say what they mean and while they might be polite, they send out subtle signals. If she doesn't smile at you or increases the physical distance between you, that's pretty much game over. If she smiles, you pass. And if she touches you, you're certified.

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Post by bluespring » Dec 29th, '07, 21:17

^honesty is b******************************************
^coy?????????
girl say no you say go
girl say go you say go
touchieeee

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Post by techie » Dec 29th, '07, 21:35

LdyPixie wrote:"Hi. I 'm interested in what you think about "X"."
Can we shorten that to "I am interested in You, waddaya think?"
Ok I am getting old, got no time to waste in trivial matters... :lol
LdyPixie wrote: And if she touches you, you're certified.


Another correction...
If that happens I'd die from sheer stress.
After all I'm as otaku as they come... :P

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Post by rossier » Jan 9th, '08, 19:59

Just be yourself, NO stupid jokes and NO lame pickup lines :glare: It looks funny on tv but NOT irl.. Girls usually give out signs if they wanted you to approach them. If you cannot detect any or get an eye contact, don't push your luck. Girls like men who are confident and cool. Funny is a plus but not a must.

I've got one really bad experience today. I was stop by a policeman. Asking for my ID card (which i thought was normal at first) before he started asking alot of questions ( I felt like i was interrogated) and finally asking for my phone number!!!! I don't know how other girls would react or feel but i just feel annoyed. A major turn off!

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Post by goldenboyy » Jan 16th, '08, 23:00

you know what? this subject seems to elude me,... i always thought you should be assertive and stuff,.. but now that i think of it... all of the relations that seems to have worked for me were started by girls that i had no clue had any interest in me. haha i must just be weird.
although, i did have that drama moment where you save the girl, but that was way back in highschool. i'll recount the story, maybe someone can explain the complicated nature of female attraction. well, there's this guy i didn't like, and basically he was harassing a girl who just happened to be sitting next to me, and was also cute. :lol well it went on till i was pissed at him and i interrupted asking him why he was messing with my girl,..of course i didn't know her, although she always sat next to me lol... well she stammers with a look of confusion at me, and basically says " wanna go watch the grudge?, here, call me."(her handing me #) there you have it, end of story haha,.. thats pretty much the only time i've ever approached a girl.
now don't get the wrong impression of me,.. i'm no 'super cool' joe, i'm more of the average 'give me drama/anime/games' guy, the only thing that differs is for some reason everyone i befriend says i looked pretty intimidating before they got to know me :-( . i think there is no real 'sure' way of approaching girls, by far i'm more on the theory that it all depends on everything about you. ie interests/personality/looks/beliefs... it's more like,.. the girls just get attracted by that aura that you emit. lol something like that :lol

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Post by nutrilift » Jan 16th, '08, 23:16

Hey hey, we are in the new generation.
Why don' t you make the girl does the first step.

It's a new era, the question is now , for the girls : how to approach men.

Be brave :)

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Post by Yunase » Jan 21st, '08, 14:15

Listen to what this guy says. Good stuff to learn and then make your own opinion.

http://fr.youtube.com/watch?v=sWnPH-kXe ... re=related

I think that most men approaching girls are having a hard time because they are constantly struggling with confusion even before they open the mouth. They sincerely want to talk to the girl on one hand, but on the other hand they are having hard time controlling their own emotions, especially if the girl is beautiful, which can make the conversation very awkward... And sounds like you have no personality.

Anthony1709
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Post by Anthony1709 » Mar 16th, '08, 01:52

Hi,

Some good advice here, and I will have to try it out myself. :D I've just started working, and so I am now going out quite a bit to bars and clubs on a Friday night after work. So yeah, quite interested in this topic. I'm quite shy, but once I've got a few drinks down me, I free myself up a bit, and muster up the courage to go up to a girl. Recently I did this, and asked if the girl wanted to dance. She said no (ouch...lol.), but my cousin said afterwards, at least I tried, otherwise I would of never known. I know its a old cliche, but if you don't ask, you don't know.

Other thing I'm a bit scared of, and struggle a bit is to start and hold a conversation. The other night I had a chance to talk to a girl but didn't, as I'm not too sure what to say or start with. But after reading this thread it has given me a few ideas, and the confidence to go and talk to girls. I'm looking forward to the next time I go out!! :D

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Post by alcozar » Mar 16th, '08, 09:45

Probably best chance is if you've known them a while, hopefully got some flirting signals and they are not with a bunch of friends (more likely to crush you while showing off in a group).

Or you could try option B which is "I love you, marry me" to every girl you've just met.....

Anthony1709
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Post by Anthony1709 » Mar 16th, '08, 20:57

Yeah I think its better if you know them for awhile or you met them through friends. Thats what I'm trying to do, meet new people through my friends. Did so, last week, and went alrite. I think thats the best way. But also good to meet completely new people at bars or clubs.

Yeah your are so right, quite intimadating when they are with theirs friends, and a whole bunch of them, and you just go to the one girl. But its quite rare for them to be by themselves, so you just suck it up, get a shot down you, and approach the girl, otherwise ain't gonna happen, unless you are really good looking, which I'm not. But yeah, next time, I'm going to go out, definitely will try approach any girls I like. :P I think I will ask her for a dance or to join her if she is dancing, :D

P.S. I like option B. I think I will tried that next time I'm out. lol.

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Post by lynchmob72 » Mar 16th, '08, 21:30

Girls like many different "Creative" ways that you guys do to ask them out. But, there are really only a few things you need to do to make it work.

1.) Be Confident. Girls love it when a guy seems sure about himself. They do not like it when you stand there and drool on yourself. they may find it cute, but that won't get you a date.


2.) Be Aware. Be aware of her and what she is trying to convey to you. This means to listen alot, and talk little. Be aware of all the effort she put into herself, for you to ask her out.


3.) finally, Be yourself. You may think this won't get you laid, but it's the one thing that will. If you fill a girls head full of lies from the beginning, the relationship is over before it started.

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From someone who loves women

Post by whosjohnny » Mar 21st, '08, 18:42

Dear all,

Just be yourself, that's all women can ask of you. When you have no expectations, big things happen. When you try to plan out everything, it never works as planned.

Don't try to be too nice. Don't try to be mean or ass either. Don't try to be anything but yourself; always express what you want to say or feel. Fear will eventually run away and your confidence are bulit upon cycles of trusting yourself that you are the most beautiful creature God has created.

Dr. Love
Last edited by whosjohnny on Jul 3rd, '08, 14:58, edited 1 time in total.

noawesome
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Post by noawesome » Apr 9th, '08, 00:01

lol man, i'm just going to be straightforward here. this is not a topic about how many beautiful girls you've had or how successful you are with woman. so anyway dude.

the honest truth is, there's no real magical way of approaching a girl and make her immediately fall in love with you. that's what movies are made of.

i was working at a coffee shop for a few months and it taught me that the best way to start a conversation is just a smile man. just be yourself. you'll never go wrong with that. girls are a lot more keen to these types of stuff.

the whole thing about "aggressive" or another approach... nah just forget about all that man. just be yourself.

lots of people here are going to give you guidelines and general tips that have worked for them. if you just be yourself then something's gonna work for you, too. you don't have to do anything special that you've been missing.

whosjohnny
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There aren't any methods

Post by whosjohnny » Apr 9th, '08, 04:57

Being completely natural like you just said is the best way, there are no magical way. So if you can put that fantasy aside and have no unrealistic expectations, by being natural, by smiling and being friendly, -- is your most attractive initial approach. This is the same as customer service on the phone where they teach you to smile while you speak because the other end, although they cannot see you, can definately tell if you're smiling just by your tone of voice. In sales, they teach you that 85% of what you communicate is your silent body language while only 15% are the words that you are actually saying. So work on being yourself, because if you're in a natural state of who you really are, that invisible language your body is telling the girl speaks louder than the words you may try to rehearse. Forget the words or technique, work on positive attitude and be brutally honest with yourself of your own likes and dislikes; your body language don't lie.

So smile away, day in and day out, be as happy as you can be, as positive as you can be -- some girls just might want to get a bit of you out of curiousity.

synysterroy
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Post by synysterroy » Apr 9th, '08, 11:01

Well, I'm not a very experienced dater, so I can't give much incredible advice but here's what I've learned.

1. When dating, make sure you're secure within your own life. Think as though "Even if life never hands me another lover, I will still be happy." Be positive. Be thankful for the things you have. For me, when I was single, I would say things to myself like "I'm truly thankful for my car I drive, my supportive parents who helped me through college, my fun job, and my great friends." Obviously it's not a daily ritual, but I would constantly think back at how great things are, even if I didn't have a bombshell woman by my side. You have to be stable with things, and be positive. Do NOT think that your world is ending because of you don't have a partner. I'm a huge believer of fate and I think it's just not your time to get a girl yet.

2. Before dating, make sure you show your best side and build up confidence. For most, they work out and buy "cool clothes" and get "cool haircuts". I can't afford that stuff, so I basically work out. Working out doesn't require money. You can do 30 million sit-ups and push-ups for free. You can run a couple laps about town for free. Remember that you're not working out to attract a girl. You're working out to build confidence in yourself. If you're healthy, you'll be happy. If you're happy, you'll generate a positive aura and in turn, have confidence. :) By the way, work out anyway, even if you've got the best personality in the world and can "get chicks" despite the fact that you're 1.5 the sizes you're supposed to be. The world needs more people that are healthy. It'll make us all happier and safer.

3. Smile often. It's the biggest thing. Laugh often too. Laugh at stupid jokes that you find funny even if people think you're weird for it. The biggest thing about "getting girls" is being happy and positive. No one wants to hang out with a guy that's always bummed about stuff. Be happy. Things could always be worse. Hell, you could be in some super poor country not able to have internet and unable to read this forum. Be happy dammit! XD

4. Don't be afraid to talk to people. This is just a general thing. Obviously, you have to learn when to not be offensive, obnoxious, or a threat. The biggest thing, though, I've learned. Is that most girls I know, are happy even if some guy has the guts to come up to them and say anything. Just a simple smile, and a "Hi there." works wonders. Cheesy and offensive lines don't attract the girls you want. Most girls just want someone they can be comfortable around. But, if you're gonna use a line, use the one I love. Go up to the girl with a friend and say "Hi there. My friend over here wants to know if you think I'm cute." It's usually a little confusing, but quite charming and un-offensive. Not terribly cheesy and shows that you're not as simple as the rest of the lemmings that have been hitting on that poor lonely girl all night.

5. Don't be afraid of rejection. Most people think it's a numbers game and that if you mess up 4 times in a night, on the 5th try, you'll get it. I don't really think so. I think, though, that you should go and talk to the girls you find cute and if fate thinks you're gonna connect with someone, fate will throw someone back. The biggest thing is getting yourself out there with the people you find attractive. I've gone up to girls in class, at bars, in clubs, and have gotten "snobbed" just for a hello. Just pick yourself up and think "Well, if she was mean enough to not return the "Hello", I'm pretty sure she's a jerk and not what I want anyway."

6. Go out there and make a fool out of yourself. Go up to that pretty girl, smile, and say "Hello." Get rejected. Learn from your mistakes. The biggest thing to remember is that you can't force a connection or love from someone. If you are gonna connect with someone, you will. If you're not gonna, you're not gonna. There's no magical line that works on each specific type of girl. The more you talk to people and get rejected, the quicker you'll learn these things. On the plus side, on the road to learning this and within the 50 rejections, you're bound to connect with a few people.

7. DO NOT BE AFRAID OF MAKING FRIENDS!!! Okay I was going to stop with the advice but now it's all just spilling out. Okay, so let's say you see this cutie at the mall. Me being the pretty shy guy, I'll go up to her and say "Hello" and flash my smile. She says "Hello" back and give me a smile as well. I'll ask her something about her surroundings. We somehow click and there's somewhat of a connection. I ask her "I've got to go, but maybe we can exchange numbers and chat more sometime?" She gives me her number and I give her mine. I call her the next time I'm free (there is no time that you should wait, if the girl is connecting with you, it doesn't matter) and chat a bit. We go out to see a movie and I flirt with and compliment her. She mentions that she just wants to be friends.

Guess what? You didn't waste your time! Think about it. You are down $20 for the movie, but you proved to yourself you can be a nice person to hang out with. Your confidence should go up. This girl just didn't wanna hang out with you that way. OBVIOUSLY, she'd like to hang out with you more, as friends. You've just made a new friend. That means you have a new person to help guide you in your journey to the relationship you seek. She knows you're single, she'll introduce you to her friends. BAM! Introductions from friends are the easiest ways to connect. It's like you're pre-connected before you even meet.

Keep in mind, that girls know what they want, they just are programmed by society to let it come to them. If that girl doesn't like you, she won't talk to you the same way your eyes skip over the girls that arn't your type. Every girlfriend I've had, noticed me before, or the same time as me. They just didn't come up to talk to me, and had I not been skimming around the room with my eyes and notice that they looked at me and gone up to them with a smile and "Hello", I would have not have had any sort of relationship with them.

This is also sometimes wrong though. As the current girlfriend I have now, met me through my friend. She apparently saw me at a concert that my friend Stu was playing at and thought "I want that." A couple of days later, she was on Stu's myspace and saw me, and introduced herself through a myspace message. She was an example of a girl that normally wouldn't go up to a guy and talk to them, but through the beauty of the internet, shot me a "Hello" with as much confidence as you in a chat room with people that will never ever meet you in their life time. We exchanged AIM sn's and talked a bit, went to see Cloverfield (horrible movie, but was perfect for us to connect) and after us getting headaches and nausea together, we laughed it off at a late night snack afterwards. I then asked her if she'd want to see another movie to make up for it and things just progressed.

I'm as awkward as the next otaku/gamer, but I went out there and made friends. I talked to every girl I thought was cute, even if it was nerve-wrecking and all I could say was "Uh, I think you're really cute and I just thought I'd come over and say hello." Just connect with as many people as possible, be thankful and positive that your life is the way it is, and let it be known what you want. Your friends will get your back and find some girl at their work to help if you can't manage to get the connection right with that girl at the bar. Do not fake confidence or be a jerk. Just be yourself. You'll find that some girls fall for guys that are shy, and some girls fall for guys that are confident. Some girls are just as shy as you, and some are so confident on their own. Pick the ones you want and just go after them.

Think I got everything covered. Sorry about reading my novel. Now go out there and talk to people! :)

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bluespring
Posts: 124
Joined: Nov 18th, '05, 07:25
Location: gardenstate

Post by bluespring » Jun 15th, '08, 16:00

^who read this ****

Honeylet123
Posts: 8
Joined: Jun 26th, '08, 03:26

Post by Honeylet123 » Jun 29th, '08, 17:48

(^_^)
This is from a girl:
The first eye contact is very crucial, so when you caught my eyes hold it for few seconds to indicate you are interested then smile the sincerest smile you can give me. After that:
1. If I never looked back after the first look, I am not interested, so don't approach me.
2. If I keep on returning your stares with a pleasant expression (I don't have to be smiling) go ahead and approach me. Give it your best shot.

whosjohnny
Posts: 15
Joined: Apr 5th, '07, 03:30

Post by whosjohnny » Jul 3rd, '08, 15:35

In response to Honeylet123:

I love women. In general, young women has power over young men but the few older men that wields the power, wields them greatly. Most women that I dealt with, are well behaved and very sensitive to their image -- typical. The women that gets my attention are the raw kind -- the kind that boldly speaks her mind without a care in the world. Of course, she has to be beautiful, tall, slim, and skins that kills. In public, she must carry herself with confidence but knows her social boundaries. In private, she has to love sex and fully treasure the potential of her body to take her away from this physical world.

I hate to say this but women's world are so competitive and very lopsided. Meaning you got 5% of the population that is beautiful and gets all the attention, success, money, whatever. Once a secret but not so secret anymore: there are 0.1% of the women who has more orgasms in a year than majority of the population in a lifetime. Men in general are more balanced in this area -- though even the best man are lightyears behind the natural blessed capacity of a woman's body.

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